Lowyat.NET: Latest topics by sweetdisposition

co-parenting : your opinion?

sweetdisposition — Sat, 27 Feb 2021 22:21:45 +0800

does it works ?

how to make it works ?

any experience about this that you care to share?

To divorce or not to divorce?

sweetdisposition — Sat, 27 Feb 2021 22:16:45 +0800

was considering divorce every week , once at least . look at my spouse face and attitude towards me , and realise i am faking myself in making everybody and my spouse that i love him . maybe for the sake of my son and future daughter , maybe because i am reluctant to go through the process or maybe too scared or lazy to move on ? i dont know .

i know i still love the person from far but not when he is in front of my eyes . there are so many things , elements and issues about him , that makes me wonder "why did i end up with this person?"

i make peace with myself for the longest time i can ever endure ; the agony , the emotional torture , the fake smile and I Love You phrase , the feeling of wanted to be love .

is it because im pregnant ; i am being overwhelmed with this pregnancy hormone ? nope . i feel this feeling in myself when i find out that he cheated on me and didnt make me feel okay about it .

i keeo thinking about how wonderful life is without him , how happy will i be , how free will i feel , and how i do not to have to think about other people feelings , but to feel me all over again ?

what stop me ?

1. my children
2. my work ; i work in an essential service that sometimes need me to outstation and work late . so having him , will ease me in fetching my son from school and taking care of him whenever im out of the state .
3. our business is on his name .
4. i have invested in the family .
5. his family is so kind to me .

what makes me think about divorce ?

1. his cheating history that can make a nice book.
2. he is not working . i dont mind since i am earning nicely for the family . but he didnt help me as much as i hope and as agreed.
3. his way of talking and starting conversation .it is rude , high pitched , and sarcastic . when he wants to talk about something , complaint (nagging) and whenever he open up his mouth , there is nothing nice to hear from his mouth ; maybe 30% in a month , he will say nice things . thats when he wants something for his pc . the reason we fought recently is because i burst out after he condemn my action of playing phone and not feeding my son ; eventhough i have explain to him that i want to play with my phone for an hour . he could do it but he choose not to because i didnt asked or told him to do so .
4. he didnt try to improve himself ; in career, life , marriage and as an individual . he likes to waste his time playing pc and mobile from the moment he wake up until he sleep . he choose what he wants to do solely on what he likes eventhough it didnt have much job opportunity . he refuse to work outside his comfort zone , eventhough he didnt have higher academic qualification and solid working experiences. i asked him to do grab , managed to get a car loan , psv and etc , but refuse to do now because of covid and it didnt give higher return that equivalent to the time he needs to spend on the day .
5. our sex life is bored . eventhough i have talked about this to him , he choose not to take this seriously and make fun of it .
6. he threatened to talk to other girls since he cant talk to me . it is not that i cant talk to him , but i cant accept the way he talked to me, as explained in point 3. he asked me to talk nicely to him ; using nice tone , nice word and nice phase . but he cant apply the same to me because he claimed he was raised that way . i found out his last seen on telegram (that i asked him to delete because of the sexual related channel he joined , that i found out during our babymoon) was within a week . and i saw Tinder apps was in installed apps in his play store ; eventhough i have delete it . (that means he recently installed it back).
7. he didnt have good relationship with my family members . i think this is because point 3 and also because he has this above-beyond-you feeling. his family is slightly richer than mine , comes from a well do family background with good education background . he always have something to say about my family behaviour , attitude , house condition and etc . i do not have a close relationship with my family due to i am the black goat in the family (due to my teenager time ; rebelious and such) , but i am always torn and have this heavy feeling of please-god-dont-create-any-drama whenever i have to bring him to my family . even my family do not like to come to our house , because they have to face him on daily basis (due to he is not working)
8. i cant talk to him whenever i have problem , issue or serious conversation , because he either will blame it on me or condemn me . he is not my person whenever i am in problem .
9. he likes to spend unnecessary and impulsive to his pc and game addiction . he will spend most of his time , browsing shopee , carousell and fb to find whats next to buy for his pc . he will sell it back when he thinks he needs money to buy other stuffs or when he in trouble (car loan and etc) . i have to save and find alternatives for the birth of my second child , while he keeps spending .
10. he is a smoker . my son has asthma . he keeps smoking in front of my son and blame the cat , dust (showing that i didnt sweep the house) , and the air cond(cause i cant sleep without air cond) . but never once about him and his smoking .

so now , here i am , with a conflicted mind , thinking about my future . i have a filed fo divorce twice and withdraw it because of his mom begged me to give his another chance and i also thouht he will change .

little that i know , it is eating me slowly inside and killing myself ; emotionally .

what should i do ? should i stay and give him chance ,again ? should i move on ?

what will you do if you are in my shoes ?

My spouse still think of his ex - gf

sweetdisposition — Mon, 20 May 2019 01:15:31 +0800

Married for a year , now pregnant with our first child . Going to deliver very very soon .

saw his msg with his friend and to my surprise , he confessed that he still think of his ex gf .

we fought so many time regarding his ex gf since engagement period .

he created diff insta acc just to text her and i found out a week after my ROM . and this has been going on for 6 months before our ROM .

and then , even after im pregnant , he was caught going to her house area JUST TO SEE HER CAR .

when confronted , he said he still cant move on .

now , according to him in the conversation he had with his friend , he staying in the marriage for the sake of the child . yes , he treats me good . but after reading that conversation , it annoyed me knowing that im not in his heart and that girl still winning .

what im thinking ?
1) how silly and stupid i am for trusting his words that he loves me .
2) im independent woman that can live without him .
3) if he cant move on and still think of his gf , that means he loves her lah and why destroying my life ?
4) divorce after the baby is born .

if you guys in my shoes , will you think the same ?
If you guys in my shoes , what will you do ?

UPDATE
- We finally go separate way today . He finally admit that he still havent move on from his ex - gf .
- Im fine . In focusing on the baby more now instead of making him falling in love with me and forget about his ex - gf .
- Will admit myself for labour tomorrow . Asking him not to interfer and come for me to have inner peace and deliver the baby in calm state . Probably will change the hospital to avoid him coming .

Wish me luck and thank you for all the advices , point of view and support .

What happen at hospital when you going to labor?

sweetdisposition — Mon, 20 May 2019 01:07:22 +0800

Hi . I am first time mother . Would like to ask a simple question for those who already go through it , but not for 1st time mother ?

Once you have one of three sign of labour , you will proceed to your hospital of choice to give labour .

My question is : WHAT HAPPEN ONCE YOU REACH THERE ?

when will the gynae come in ?
when will the Vaginal Examination to check the vagina dilation done ?
Will they ask whether we want epidural , morphine or ethonox ?
When we need to give the red book ?
and etc and etc and etc .

Thank You

Info : im 37 weeks pregnant . will deliver at Hospital Putrajaya under FPP .

Can my salary masuk my spouse account ?

sweetdisposition — Tue, 31 Jul 2018 21:33:17 +0800

-settle-

Any affordable gynae in kl or subang

sweetdisposition — Mon, 27 Nov 2017 22:32:38 +0800

Hi . Any affordable (100-300) gynae around kl and subang ?

Cant go to government due to privacy issues .

And the price includes medication .

Thank you

(WTA) Female MMA Class

sweetdisposition — Mon, 17 Jul 2017 00:32:48 +0800

Hi .

anyone can recommend me any mma class for female ?

i stay in kl . never join any self defense type of class .