Lowyat.NET: Latest topics by mikecrush

Dare to Not Laugh

mikecrush — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 21:25:07 +0800

Try not to laugh while reading this essay penned by a champion student!!

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CALCUTTA's Telegraph has got hold of an answer paper of a candidate at the recent UPSC examinations. The candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow:

The Cow :

"The cow is a successful animal. Also he is quadrupud, and because he is female, he give milk,but will do so when he is got child. He is same likeGod,sacred to Hindus and useful to man.But he has got four legs together.Two are forward and two are afterwards.

"His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. What can it do? Various ghee, butter,cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth.Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally.

"His motion is slow only because he is of asitudinious species.Also his other motion is much useful to trees, plants as well as making flat cakes in hand and drying in the sun. Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating.Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass.

"His only attacking and defending organ is the horn, specially so when he is got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity forwards.

"He has got tails also, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side.This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his cohoa body whereupon he gives hit with it.

The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch.So the grasses head is not crushed.At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts his eyes like his relatives, the horse does not do so.

"This is the cow."

P.S.: We are informed that the candidate passed the exam

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If you laughed then its good for your soul
If you didn't laugh , you might be the next serial killer

Cheating hubby exposed thanks to saman ekor

mikecrush — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 12:04:30 +0800

todays news : i don't feel sorry for this guy

source :http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2010/8/28/nation/6939531&sec=nation

Cheating hubby exposed thanks to saman ekor

KUALA LUMPUR: A man who was caught on camera for speeding turned out to be having a joyride with his lover.

His wife found out about the affair by accident after she and her husband went to MCA public services and complaints department head Datuk Michael Chong to complain about a saman ekor they had received.

The retired couple, in their 60s from Petaling Jaya, vehemently maintained that the police had mistakenly issued a summons to them, Chong said.

“They claimed they were never on the Karak Highway, so it was impossible for them to have been caught speeding there.

“The wife said they only drove the car to nearby places. Besides that, she was with her husband most of the time,” said Chong yesterday.

Upon hearing their dilemma, Chong advised them to get from the police a photo of the alleged offence although the husband was reluctant to do so.

“However, the wife decided to pay the RM10 that was required to check out the photo,” he said.

Chong said the couple came back to check the photo two weeks later, but the husband quickly grabbed the envelope with the photo.

“The husband refused to open the envelope and said they would open it at home as they did not want to waste my time,” he said.

However, Chong said the wife insisted on opening it in front of him because the wife was confident that there was a mistake in the summons and wanted him to settle the matter for them.

“To the wife’s shock, the photo clearly showed the husband driving the car with another woman sitting beside him,” said Chong.

Chong said the wife was furious and grabbed her umbrella to hit the husband.

“I quickly stood between them and asked the husband to leave. I do not know what happened to them after the incident,” he said.

GCSE examination in England. Come on in and See! :

mikecrush — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 18:18:01 +0800

The following questions were set in last year’s GCSE examination in England.

These are genuine answers from 16 year olds, not very bright, but entertaining, 16 year olds. ;-)

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs

Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

Gold Investment . Which is Better?

mikecrush — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 16:29:38 +0800

Hi guys and girls

i would like to ask if anyone of you have a Gold investment passbook / physical gold with Maybank or public bank?

please share . thanks in advance

~ Wonderful Definitions You Should Know :)

mikecrush — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 15:50:38 +0800

Wonderful Definitions

School
A place where Parents pay and children play.

Life Insurance
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters..

Divorce
Future tense of Marriage.

Tears
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

Conference
The confusion of one human being multiplied by the number present.

Compromise
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary
A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father
A banker provided by nature.

Criminal
A person no different from the rest....except that he/she got caught.

Boss
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician
One who shakes your hand before elections, and Confidence after.

DOCTOR
A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic
Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience
The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb
An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher
A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise

anymore to add?

REPLICA KINGSTON THUMBDRIVE !?

mikecrush — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 01:46:26 +0800

hie guys .. ever bought a replica Thumbdrive b4 ? this is my first after buying it from a seller online . Kingston 16Gb swivel cap type . It was always showing errors if i copy files more than 2 Gb like movies or large simulation data like simulink or matlab.

javascript:emoticon(':help:')
i went to google and searched for more info :

my reference 1 : http://reviews.ebay.com/BEWARE-of-FAKE-16G...000000001236200 which is happening on ebay

My reference 2 : http://www.daniweb.com/forums/thread130646.html# ( i have the same problem like this person ( all my dvd files cannot play if more than 2 gb )

i did some test of true capacity via H2testw software on disc and here are the results :
"
Error reading file 'G:\2.h2w', offset 0x9800000.
(The system cannot find the file specified. Code 2)
The media is likely to be defective.
995.3 MByte OK (2038400 sectors)
180.6 MByte DATA LOST (370048 sectors)
Details:0 KByte overwritten (0 sectors)
0 KByte slightly changed (< 8 bit/sector, 0 sectors)
180.6 MByte corrupted (370048 sectors)
0 KByte aliased memory (0 sectors)
First error at offset: 0x000000003e350000
Expected: 0x000000003e350000
Found: 0x0000000000000000
H2testw version 1.3
Writing speed: 3.67 MByte/s
Reading speed: 11.1 MByte/s
H2testw v1.4
"

ORIGINAL SIZE ON DISK IS ONLY 1Gb http://s.lowyat.net/style_images/1/folder_...icons/icon8.gif

995.3 MByte OK (2038400 sectors) after this all data is lost ..

can someone please shed some light to this? how can i report to Kingston malaysia ?