Lowyat.NET: Latest topics by ochivy

My brother bring his gf to see his house

ochivy — Wed, 12 Aug 2015 16:09:05 +0800

My brother have these questions, do you think his gf will think odd about him due to the below?

Question:

1) He sleep in master bedroom because parents prefer to sleep at back room, father don't like the double bed because he got back problem, he prefer to sleep on the floor. The double bed, difficult to move it to throw away, because of spiral staircase. Some more double bed is old and damage, but my brother like to sleep on it.

So you think his gf got bad impression because parents give master bed room to him?

My friend go holiday with gf family

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 07:30:00 +0800

My friend go holiday with gf family

ochivy — Wed, 15 Jul 2015 14:00:12 +0800

My friend is about to go for Raya holidays to Bangkok with his gf family for 4 days 3 nights. They will stop by Penang first before fly to Bangkok (gf is from Penang)

He is nervous because he cannot speak hokkien and Chinese. His whole gf family, her 3 brothers and her 2 sisters whom he never met are coming. Her parents cannot speak English but father is quite well off businessman. To top it up, his gf uncle and auntie family also tagging along.

So how is he to communicate with them? He only pak tor with her for 4 months. He feel under pressure to prove to her dad that he is capable guy.

Her father is very demanding because last time her ex bf fail the test, father thought the her ex bf not good enough because he don't know how to take care of her. Now all eyes on my friend.

He want to ask his gf to help translate but he embarrass. He know that the tour guide will speak Chinese.

Her father don't like banana guy, go and say banana guy not Chinese because Chinese must know how to speak mother tongue.

My friend not even hokkien, he is Cantonese.

How do you sense before a break up?

ochivy — Thu, 09 Jul 2015 23:02:04 +0800

I read some forums here, and found that before a break up, the girl will usually be more distant, answering less calls, answering less messages, making more excuses not to go out.

Is this true?

Have you ever face a situation where your girlfriend didn't reply you for 2 days, then after that become normal again? Then you both resume your relationship?

Would you panic if you ask your girlfriend one day out, and suddenly she say she's not free? Then you ask the next week, you sense a moment of relieve when she say ok to come out?

Friend just loss his job

ochivy — Mon, 06 Jul 2015 09:25:13 +0800

A friend of mine just loss his job

My friend is one of the victims. He is 29 years old and he is an exec earning ok pay. He wanted to be ambitious took up a higher paying job, but he struggled to perform and his bosses decided not to confirm him.

He just got a new gf 2 months ago. They just got to know each other.

As you know, there may not be such thing as True Love as guys have to prove his love to the girl and his ability to make $$$ and provide security.

So guys, how do you think he should break the news to her?

1) Pretend that he got a job? But if she finds out, he be in trouble for lying and dishonesty

2) Take the risk to explain to her the whole situation that the job loss was due to difficult situation at office, and be positive to her that he can find another job

Number (2) is very risky preposition because he just got to know the gf. The girlfriend previously complain to him that she had a previous rship whereby she could not tolerate her ex bf who had been out of job for 6 months, forcing her to pay the rent and supporting him. She felt that her ex is not capable of supporting anymore and became irresponsible often playing the playstation instead of looking for job.

So my friend, he is afraid that he may give the same impression to her since he lost his job in non confirmation.

The first 6 months of relationship

ochivy — Tue, 23 Jun 2015 18:55:05 +0800

I saw one guy, he chase the girl at office, at first the girl ignore him. But he pursue her very aggressive. At first I thought he no chance, then shock that next month, they start holding hands. People start gossup that they are the "in-couple". At first they go to office together, come back home together. Go lunch also together. Then suddenly in 5th month, dunno what happen. See the guy no longer come near the girl. The girl seem relief to be out of something. But the guy look lost like cannot get back on his feet. Then curious see them not together anymore. The girl start to like to mix with other guys. The guy start to avoid other people.

So is first 6 months of relationship very high risk of break up?

Is there such thing as "probation stage"?

Any of you guys ever been able to get pass the 6 month probation?

Any of you guys failed the 6 month probation?

Do girls evaluate very deeply about the guy during the 6 months?

Do guys just neglect treating the girl nice anymore then he drop his guard, that's why the girl not like him anymore? Because he stopped being romantic? He did so because he thought he won her heart already.

Hypothetical question:

ochivy — Mon, 15 Jun 2015 00:23:13 +0800

Just a scenario question:

1) If you have a girlfriend...do you allow her to go out with other guys - one to one, as friends?

2) INB4, she tell you that she is going out with this guy friend, because they just friends and want to keep in touch.

Question:

1) Would you allow this?

2) If the answer is yes - why do you allow? Do you think its because you trust her?

Another friend kena exam by gf parents

ochivy — Fri, 29 May 2015 19:14:05 +0800

I have one friend who has been dating this girl for 8 times, met at tinder. Her parents ask him to come to their house for dinner because they wanted to know him better.

he knew they were gonna bombard him...so he put up his most thickest skin. The parents express their concern to their daughter over how she met the guy and wanted to check him out. So he practice all his lines...and he knew that they were going to ask questions to test his temperament.

But nothing prepared him for THIS ONE..

Father: You seem a bit more shy and reserve than the guy we saw last week
Guy: Huh? Which guy?
Father: Dear, theeeere...the guy you brought to meet us for dinner last week, he came in his Mercedes
Girl: Yes, his name is Alan, he owns some businesses pass down by his dad
Father: The guy is quite young and handsome. He is quite good in taking care of us throughout the whole dinner
Guy: Err, uncle, do you mean last week you had a dinner with guy introduced by "girl"? I thought this dinner was to have me to get to know her family better?
Mother: Oh, don't worry, he is just a friend brought by our daughter, only thing he didn't meet internet. He is a close family friend, we know his parents.
Guy: I don't understand, I am confuse
Girl's brother: Oh you will soon understand hehe
Girl's sister: I also bring my friends to come dinner with mommy and daddy

If you're in his shoes, what would you do?

1) Excuse yourself nicely, walk out like a gentleman
2) Remain, try to proof yourself as much as you can that you are the man for this girl's parents
3) Show your third finger, curse bad words aloud, then walkout

Conversation btw father n the boyfriend

ochivy — Tue, 12 May 2015 18:38:33 +0800

Yesterday, a friend call me about his problem. He is 35 yo, the girlfriend is 21 yo. They pak tor for 1 year. One day, he went to gf house to pick her up for a date, but she was late, showering in her bathroom, so he had to wait at the living room with her father sitting there reading the papers. He knew the father very hostile to him, never acknowledge him when he say "hello uncle". So they both sat at the living room while his gf upstairs showering and prob doing make up. then silence was broken, when the father suddenly put down paper and ask him.

Father: So what is your profession?
Guy: I work in procurement
Father: Sound like no future kind of job, got chance to promotion?
Guy: I have good relationship with my boss, he will one day promote me when he go up the corporate ladder.
Father: Hmm, how old are you?
Guy: Err, I am 35 this year.
Father: wah so old? You are 14 years older than her? I am only 46 years old, you almost like my peer.
Guy: Err, i guess i older wiser
Father: Why you until 35 cannot find someone your age meh?
Guy: Err, i happen to meet your daughter and we both like each other, i guess its fate, uncle
Father: Actually ah, i very uncomfortable how you both met, through this tinder. I just afraid you some sort of con man or worse, predator
Guy: You seen so far, I been very good, I gone out with your daughter for 1 year, uncle. She is very happy with me.
Father: Good? I set the curfew time at 10pm..you always late, take her back at 1030pm
Guy: Sorry uncle, sometimes traffic jam and stuff like that delay us
Father: How you going to support my daughter, you seem no financial plan
Guy: I have, I bought a house at XXXXXX...I been saving for marriage
Father: You 35, still drive proton wira. I don't see any financial security. Tell me, when you intend to marry? if you do marry
Guy: I plan to marry her in 2 years, i am still saving money and working hard for the future
Father: wah, by then you 37, then marry get kids at 39..then when you retire, your 1st born child still like 20 year old..who is going to support him to univeristy? when you retire at 60? You expect my daughter to work through to support your kids? You very pandai ah
Guy: I will plan something, maybe go into real estate or ask to work for contract
Father: hah, you very unstable lah. Are you sure you 35? I see you losing hair, you not handsome also..i dunno why my daughter likes you.
Guy: Err, uncle, I am trying very hard to be nice to you, but i hope we can be in good relationship
Father: I have no problem with you, only one, you going out wiht my daughter, i expect the best for her, so far, i look at your background and way you meet her, I not convince. There are so many ladies out there your age, why you have to choose my daughter? She still young, let her enjoy her freedom.
Guy: Uncle, i trying to be as respectful as i can, all i can say is, we both love each otehr very much, and will try to do the best we can to develop our relationship. i just ask uncle to be patient with us.
Father: Unless you strike lottery 10 mil, then maybe i be patient..then also i look at you, you don;t seem like honest person. Where you live? You still live with your parents?
Guy: I live at XXX...yes i still live wiht my parents
Father: What kind of 35 yo still live with his parents? You cannot wash your own clothes and cook your own food is it? You expect my daughter to do all the housework for you?
Guy: No lah uncle, please understand, my parents are old, i want to be filial, i want to take care of them, i scared if my father whose legs are frail..he fall down, at least i at home
Father: HOw old is your father? ok this one i understand, you need ot be filial son but if my daughter stay with you at your parents house then she have to take care of your parents too? Yes i ok for her to cook and do house work but I not ok, for her to support 3 peopld in the house
Guy: Don't worry uncle, I will work something out, i already bought a house near my parents house. I plan to live out.
Father: That area XXX...hmm, the house also very small in this kidn of place.
Guy: Uncle I not very rich, but i believe wiht hard work i can support her.
Father: Means she has to suffer with you lah. Haiyo, please lah, go after someone your own age lah. Then that lady already have her own career, at 35 she can share the burden with you. But my daughter just came out to start work, how she going to develop her carerr and support you lah?
Guy: I dont expect her to work hard, someway we will work things out..my parents are not rich, they came from poor family but somehow they managed to raise me

Then the daughter finish her make up and dress up..came down stairs..the conversation stopped abruptly, her father look back at his newspaper, ignored her bf..never even look at him in the eye, when he say bye uncle. They left..

but next day, my fren call me out for mamak...talk out about how hurt he felt his gf father talk to him like that.

What do you guys think? If you in his shoes what you would do? How you feel?

Fine line between Neediness & Initiative?

ochivy — Thu, 09 Apr 2015 16:02:45 +0800

Recently i read some threads talk about neediness and desperation. Some guys appear to be needy after a break up and tend to show it when they approach girls, scare them away. On other hand, I heard about this story of a friend:

He was so busy at work, didn't call nor text nor meet his girlfriend for 3 days, then she complain and say he not giving her attention and make her feel wanted. One day he very free, so he kept on texting his girlfriend but she was busy..so he text her until she answered. Then she complain and say he insecure and needy. Gurls??? So hard to understand.

As guys, its a thin red line isn't it?

On one hand we should not get too emotional - then don't try hard enough to go after girl. Then one hand, if we get too emotional - we become insecure and accidentaly become desperate and needy, the girl don't like.

Its like asking Lee Chong Wei to play badminton without aggression.

So how you control your emotion? As guys we have tendency to become insecure. But sometime we become too robotic, then girls complain that we not caring enough.

When u hv problem shld u keep in heart or say out?

ochivy — Sun, 29 Mar 2015 10:03:03 +0800

This fella tried to go jogging to make him forget about his problem, but not able. So seem that distracting your mind won't make you forget your depression. Perhaps one should face the problem and question himself why is he facing this depression and try to overcome it. It seems that going to phychiatrist doesn't help, he has been treated for his mental illness yet he cannot cope.

Also one wonders if you encounter a very quiet and keep to himself/herself problems, you wonder if this person could eventually outburst and hurt somebody. Usually if somebody have access to very powerful things like guns (like in American gun massacres) or flying a plane, that someone who is depressed may want to hurt someone, and want to be famous.

So my question is, when you face depression, should you just keep quiet or just say it out?

I find the people who sound out, and make known about their problems usually are the ones who will overcome their problems faster than those who keep quiet. This is just my opinion. But it comes at a cost, this person may be shunned or people may think this person is a loser because he or she admits that he or she got a problem. This is just a cultural perception, thats why people are afraid to admit their weaknesses.

Here is the famous german wings story below:

===============================================================================================================

Crash co-pilot told ex ‘everyone will know my name’ — Report

DUESSELDORF, Germany: The Germanwings co-pilot who crashed his Airbus in the French Alps, killing all 150 aboard, told his ex-girlfriend that “one day everyone will know my name”, according to German newspaper Bild.

In an interview, the 26-year-old flight attendant known as Maria W told Bild that when she heard about the crash she recalled Andreas Lubitz telling her last year: “One day I’m going to do something that will change the whole system, and everyone will know my name and remember.”

The black box voice recorder indicates that Lubitz, 27, locked his captain out of the cockpit on Tuesday and deliberately flew Flight 4U 9525 into a mountainside, French officials say, in what appears to have been a case of suicide and mass killing.

French Prime Minister Manuel Valls said that all the signs were “pointing towards an act that we can’t describe: criminal, crazy, suicidal”.

German prosecutors revealed that searches of Lubitz’s homes netted “medical documents that suggest an existing illness and appropriate medical treatment”, including ‘torn-up and current sick leave notes, among them one covering the day of the crash’.

They did not specify the illness.

According to Bild, the young woman, who was ‘very shocked’, flew with Lubitz on European flights for five months last year, during which time they are believed to have been romantically involved.

If Lubitz did deliberately crash the plane, “it is because he understood that because of his health problems, his big dream of a job at Lufthansa, as captain and as a long-haul pilot was practically impossible”, she told Bild.

The pair separated “because it became increasingly clear that he had a problem”, she told the daily, adding that at night he would wake up and scream “we’re going down” and was plagued by nightmares.

Bild earlier reported that Lubitz sought psychiatric help for ‘a bout of serious depression’ in 2009 and was still getting assistance from doctors, quoting documents from Germany’s air transport regulator.

Lufthansa CEO Carsten Spohr said that Lubitz had suspended his pilot training, which began in 2008, ‘for a certain period’, before restarting and qualifying for the Airbus A320 in 2013.

Half of the 150 victims of Tuesday’s disaster were German, with Spain accounting for at least 50 and the remainder composed of more than a dozen other nationalities.

Germanwings said Friday it had offered the victims’ families “up to 50,000 euros (US$54,800) per passenger” towards their immediate costs.

The assistance, which the families would not be required to pay back, was separate from the compensation that the airline will likely have to pay over the disaster, a Germanwings spokesman told AFP.

A religious ceremony will take place Saturday morning at 10.30am in the nearby town of Digne-les-Bains, police said.

Lubitz lived with his parents in his small home town of Montabaur in the Rhineland and kept an apartment in Duesseldorf, the city where his plane was bound from Barcelona.

Duesseldorf prosecutors said the evidence found in the two homes ‘backs up the suspicion’ that Lubitz ‘hid his illness from his employer and his colleagues’. — AFP

Read more: http://www.theborneopost.com/2015/03/29/cr.../#ixzz3VjhcmHJo

For those who break up

ochivy — Mon, 23 Mar 2015 18:40:35 +0800

I know of a friend who just got dumped recently by his ex gf of 4 years.

Back at college days, he used to be the dashing playboy, able to go after any girl he wanted. They all so want to bed him.

Now, he look like he lost his mojo after break up. He gain body fat due to years of no exercise always servicing the girlfriend.

Then I notice, girl after girl he try to go after (after his break up) reject him one by one.

Walao, is he now in a losing streak?

Not only he lost his ex gf of 4 yrs, now no girl want him.

Do you believe in bad luck? After break up, more bad luck, lost of mojo and bad juju?

My friend story

ochivy — Tue, 24 Feb 2015 10:38:11 +0800

My friend has been dating this girl for like 15 dates.

He always spend her meals and other stuff.

Then suddenly one day, she decided to spend him back. My friend is in the construction industry, so he was influence by the norm if his clients treat him because they feel honored to do so. But he was curious as to why his gf change her mind.

So he appreciated her treat, and thanked her. So it went on like this, sometime he spend sometime she spend him back.

Then suddenly one day she ask for break up, say he calculative because he never stop her from treating him. She say he should prevent her from spending him.

He realized it was a test and he failed.

If you go overseas permanently

ochivy — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 12:51:18 +0800

Just want to ask, if let say you got ex gf you broke off, and went overseas to work. But you got a lot of friends in your current watsapp.

Would you make a new watsapp account on your foreign phone or use back your existing watsapp account?

Lady friend went to Spore to work

ochivy — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 12:29:37 +0800

I have a close lady friend who just transfer to Spore to work. She last time reasonably active in watspp. Now see her watsapp, like yesterday was last time there.

I want to contact and ask her about life in spore, I may be interested to go there to work

So my question is:

1) Could she have gotten a Spore line and created a new watsapp account?
2) She could still link back to her old watsapp account?
3) She is probably busy with work no time to check her watsapp?
4) If you were to go to singapore and have a new line, would you change your watsapp account or use old watsapp account?

Spare tire syndrome

ochivy — Thu, 12 Feb 2015 23:57:51 +0800

I was introduced by a friend to this girl who sells a certain investment (not want to divulge too much information).

We were suppose to meet at a posh coffee place but she did not know how to go...and was late, then dragged both of us to go to a shopping mall to meet her (cause she only know how to go there)...(red flag1).

But when we met, she was quite pretty and our conversation got off fine. Then we exchange tel numbers.

I continue to message her till late at night, found her to be fun to talk to. Then we had our second date, we spoke about each other. However she insist that we are friends. I am fine with that. I found out that she's a small town girl with simple life...and is very religious.

After that we message again..this time, she confines in me that she has borrowed heavily to fund a RM 1 million investment that burdens her finances. She says she don't know how she is to support herself with the interest payments. She could not sell the investment because market is bad and having downturn. At first, I was apprehensive, cause any future bf/husband would sure have to support her greedy ways. But then as I share with my close friends, they tell me to continue and not to judge her too early just get to know her as a friend. Ok, so I proceeded to watsapp with her.

Then she watsapp with me again...and ask me what kind of wife i want. She ask me name them in sequential...1) Biz wife 2) Normal working hour wife 3) Housewife....So i put 2) 1) 3)..she ask me why i put housewife last...I was coy about it....

So she revealed to me that she wanted to be a housewife. Ok I say fine. Then she ask me how many children I want for my family. I say 2 enough lah. Then she say 4 !!! Her requirement is 4 !!! I tell her why so big? She say she want to have a big family. Then i start to my income where can support so many.

Then my heart was thinking why she say 4...many of my friends want kids get married at early 20s can't even get kids due to infertility. We never know the future...but i dare not insult her because she was introduced by my friend who happens to be my client.

She then say this is her requirement no compromise must be 4. Then I say I prefer small family, I don't want 4. She tell me that I cannot fulfill her requirement. So she say we not compatible. Neverthelesss, i say nevertheless, she still wanna go dating with me. I was like again.

She say we still can be friends. * I feel like friendzoned to me*. She even dare to tell me that there are two more guys chasing her as "friends". She say she don't mind to go out dating even when she has boyfriend. Deep in my heart, I was thinking the reason why she want to say "4" was maybe she estimated if a guy can say he can support 4 kids, he also can support her bad investment worth 1 million. Not surprising waht...she wants to be housewife. So her poor future hubby has to support her wrong investment decisions for rest of his life.

So i dared to disagree with her, saying why waste time to still go out when she knows we are not compatible? SHe then say I very old fashion should not think like this, should still be friends. Deep in my mind, I can read in between the lines...meaning, oh, so just in case if her winner, ie the boyfriend disagree with her on something, she can always go back to us "spare tire" friends to blackmail...right?

So I tell her to go concentrate on the guy she thinks he can provide her requirements the most lah...then she got uncomfortable with our chat...she say she understand now...and she call off our date...she even say my vocation is not high salary.

She excuse herself and wish me all the best of luck..and say its over.

I think whoever guy who still wants to stick to her, sorry man...he has to fund her bad investments, and support her and 4 other kids. Seems that she cares more for $$$ than the poor hubby. She some more portray herself as religious, pious and like to help the needy..but she is so insensitive towards her new husband...can see other people one to one behind her bf some more. Those 3 other poor guys still dating her... ...she only wants their $$$ not their love.

What do you think?