Lowyat.NET: Latest topics by Jiong999

Help convincing parent to stop smoking

Jiong999 — Wed, 03 Jun 2020 22:52:23 +0800

I live with my parents and had just moved into a new home together right before the Covid struck,
which cut the household's income in half because my mom could not work during the lockdown period.

Now the source of the issue: My Dad. He is 65, jobless and is a literally penniless man.
Thankfully he isn't abusive, alcoholic, or a bad parent like the horror stories you usually see in dramas.
in fact he is caring and is literally the "housewife" of the household.

There is only one problem: he is a heavy smoker for 40+ years and in the recent years,
he had been getting his cigs by "borrowing" the family's daily expenses (literally me and my
similarly aged mom's earnings) whenever he ran errands, after he lost his previous job.

Needless to say he contributes nothing in bills etc. (which we are OK with) since then and would just use all of
his savings for cigs if he managed to get some $, and obviously trigger arguments whenever
he tried to ask my mom for money behind my back. (He wouldn't dare ask me directly as he knows I will just
rip him a new one) He is the only one who smokes in the family and normally we just kept a blind eye
as he does it outside the house and well away from us, but since he isn't using his own money to do it
and cigars expenses are nothing to laugh at, I can't turn a blind eye anymore.

Clearly, every issue can be fixed if he COULD quit smoking, which comes the tough part.
He is an extremely tough nut (read:ungodly stubborn) to crack that won't even consider it unless he is
literally forced into a corner (read: not having a single cent). I'm willing to support him if it means
he quits smoking once and for all but at the same time I'm not going to fund his addiction any longer.
Yelling at him would just be counter-productive for a situation like this so I would like to seek advice here:
has anyone ever heard/encountered this kind of situation before and what would be the best course of action here?

TLDR: I need help in convincing a family member to quit smoking, which throws cold turkey strat out of the window.

Thanks in advance.

DISCLAIMER: Money is not the issue here and I'm not looking for big-brain responsibility debates here on how one should treat the elderly. Tyvm.

Should I yolo surrender my insurance policy..

Jiong999 — Thu, 05 Mar 2020 12:08:07 +0800

Somehow I got persuaded into buying a 10-year “Life insurance plan” when I attempted to sign up for an FD last year. I don’t remember what kind of honey-coated words I have been fed and like the dumb person I am, I do not truly understand the consequences of loss should I cancel the policy early. Life commitments changed quicker than I could possibly predict and long story short, I do not intend to continue the plan and locking up my remaining savings for some non-existent returns after 9 years which will have shit cash value due to the inevitable inflation.

The unallocated premiums is massive as I’m only close to finishing the 1st policy year by end of the month. I will lose more than 40% of the initial premium of 10k from the surrender value, which is an annual premium. A lesson learnt and I consider it a price I will gladly pay for my own gullibility.

For the insurance vets out there, should I just proceed to kill it or there can be alternatives to minimize losses without adding alot of bullshit to the mix?

Thanks in advance.

A somewhat...special case of Job Dilemma

Jiong999 — Wed, 04 Jul 2018 12:06:43 +0800

Warning: Walls of text ahead:

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

So currently I'm working as a support agent in a rotating shift role, a position I desperately took after my previous one ended in disastrous fashion due to short notice (moving homes, lateral moves, underpaid). Despite being a job I took out of desperation, it turned out to be surprisingly well, at least initially - As I effectively get a 30% pay increase compared to the previous (although it is still pretty low for a programming degree holder in the late 20s and is not a fresh grad)- have a workplace that is very close to my stay and more surprisingly, I'm allowed to work from home during night shifts which rotates on 2 week basis (which ultimately allow me to save a lot of costs and a lot of flexibility allowed) which is something I wasn't told before starting work.

As for work experience - lets just say after working in hostile environments with ridiculous workload (literally) for the past 4 years, this one is undoubtedly the best one I had - employees are given an incredible amount of freedom - don't have to go office if situation arises (ie. bad traffic), don't have to login on exact time etc. and pretty much no one gives a damn about what you do as long as you do your job properly, a stark contrast of previous experiences with literally zero breathing room and a boss who likes to monitor his employee's actions frequently for less than noble reasons. Compare graduating from slave labor and step into leisure zone in the span of a day.

I can even say this is literally my (temporary) dream job - despite the pay is literally not the best (yet TOO GOOD for the next to none responsibility involved - you literally trade leisure for money here - no doubt) as it gives me substantial time to expand my skills and focus on subjects I actually liked and would pursue in the future - mainly art illustrating and game developing - jobs without much opportunities in this country.

The flexibility continues up until today and it still does (just finished my 3rd year) - as recently there have been little to no work to do (really) so I'm pretty much taking free salary (like some ppl say, goyang kaki) - a luxury where some would like to have, myself included, and it is completely stress-free (once I get used to the odd hours upon starting that is). This comes at a price, obviously.

Naturally, I don't get any form of increment after 3 years in my current job, and this extends to colleagues who are supposed to be doing more work than me (although they have more specialized skills and therefore higher wages). Since there is nothing much to do in the first place- there isn't really a lot of room to ask for a raise since there is no metrics/quota for you to meet meaning you literally can't achieve anything major, although management had promised they would give one - at an unspecified date following the performance review this year (which happened some months ago). As the head office is in another country where majority of the (more important) work is being done, there really isn't much of a room for growth as well, and half of my colleagues quit as a result (not that there is alot in the first place since we are pioneers with less than 10 people).

This does not contribute to my morale, obviously, but I'm willing to cope with it - as its my choice and I have clear vision of my goals, with the only challenge being the time required as well as the ability to sustain myself and my family while working my way towards it.
However an issue popped up recently, my boss has been thinking to ask me support a potential client - with a foreign language (that isn't Malay, English or Mandarin) that requires proficiency. I am pretty proficient with that language myself having learned it for more than 9 years personally though I do not possess official qualifications - but haven't really shown it in any real employment before as either there isn't any opportunity / technically not relevant with my current job until now, which is where the problem comes.

Since this particular project requires specialized skills AND proficiency in foreign language (something I can do if I put in the effort), I am NOT willing to do it without a pay increase (as if I did I will be working at a far more below market value compared to them hiring off the streets) - as I am aware that my company is opening a new post to hire new candidate to fill this particular position and had already interviewed people - one who requests wages that is more than 2x of mine (that IS within their budget according to recruitment details) My boss approached me the other day (via Skype as he is never in the country so I have no chance to meet him) and enquired my proficiency with the language - to which I gave a very vague response as not to provide the impression that I am 'capable' of handling this particular project yet (and to delay it before I was told the full details of the project) to prevent it being forced on me in the worst-case scenario and myself risking insubordination if I refuse.

So some advice here would be appreciated:
How am I supposed to approach this sort of situation?
I do not want to be taken advantage of. Should I bring out the topic about a pay raise before the project ? Keep quiet until then ?

"Use that free time you have to look for another job now and quit when you get a better offer" is not really an option - as I have own projects going on at the moment (which IS important for my upcoming career) and I doubt I will find another job that will allow me this sort of flexibility again. Not to mention that is literally throwing away free money as I rather do part-time work on top of this flexible job (which I do) rather than getting another lifeless one with measly increased pay. This is a pretty difficult situation for me and I've been thinking of it for some time now... any insight on what can be done?

Thanks in advance.

Car Scratch Incident by Security Guard

Jiong999 — Mon, 15 Feb 2016 09:27:46 +0800

I currently need some serious advice about a car scratch incident on my 5 months old car which I bought last year.

The Details:

1. The car scratch incident happened about a month ago on a Saturday, inside the company compound parking lot where I'm working. Me and several others are required to work on that one particular day for yearly logistics management.

2. The scratch was caused by the company's security guard while he was attempting to reverse his car, on a day where there are almost no other cars in the lot, damn pro skills.

3. Call it lucky, or unlucky, me and 3 other colleagues (including one of my company HR/Admin) managed to witness the incident happen right in front of our eyes.

4. The scratch was minor, but costs RM200 to fix, a hefty amount as I'm not one of the richfags that earn more than 3k+ a month and I do not have working parents or any form of other financial support. I wouldn't have bothered if the car was an old one, but unfortunately I can't let it slip as the car looks brand new.

5. I initially discussed with the guard (he has no way to pretend not to know as I literally confronted him on the spot), attempting to consider his circumstances because you know guards do not earn much. He agreed to pay back bit by bit once salaries are out, etc. I have showed him the receipt bill for the car fix already before we agreed on an RM50-100 installment plan per month.

6. One and a half month later I was feeling he was somehow avoiding me, and obviously enough, he has excuses for not having money and is somewhat confrontational with his attitude, hence why I am here now.

Now the question:

1. Should I continue to wait until he eventually pays it back (if he even does) ?

2. Since it happened inside company parking lot with witnesses and likely caught on company's CCTV, should I ask the company admin to do something about the matter? (I rather avoid this as I don't want to cause a commotion or provoke the guard in any manner)

Since Im asking for SERIOUS ADVICE, do take note:

1. I AM PERFECTLY AWARE THAT THIS IS A SMALL ISSUE, BUT NOT SOMETHING I CAN IGNORE. But you are free to write : "Small issue oni lah, deal with it lah, RM200 also kpkb, get a life la fuss over such small issue" if you have nothing else better to do.

2. Don't bother with the nonsense shenanigans "Report to police lah but they wont do thing / beat him up / scratch back his car".

Thank you for your understanding and consideration in advance.