Lowyat.NET: Latest topics by uglyduckling422

Apple watch series 10

uglyduckling422 — Fri, 04 Apr 2025 14:06:42 +0800

[b]Item(s): Apple watch series 10 rose gold colour

[b]Package includes: Apple watch series 10

[b]Price:[RM1500] (!!!NOTICE!!!: Sellers are required to display the exact selling prices of their products. Failure to do so will result in the deletion of the topic)

[b]Warranty: apple

[b]Dealing method: cash on delivery

[b]Location: Puchong

[b]Contact method/details:pm
---

[b]Item(s) conditions: new

Rent for apartment

uglyduckling422 — Mon, 09 Jan 2017 09:46:44 +0800

A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend
the night with her for $500. They did their thing,
and, before h e left, he told her that he did
not have any cash with him, but he would have his
secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling
the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'

On the way to the office, he regretted what he had
done, realizing that the whole event had not been
worth the price. So he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclose the following typed note:

'Dear Madam:
Enclosed find a check for $250 for rent of your
apartment . I am not sending the amount agreed upon,
because when I rented the place, I was under the
impression that:
#1 - it had never been occupied;
#2 - there was plenty of heat; and
#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.
However, I found out that:
#1 - it had been previously occupied,
#2 - there wasn't any heat, and
#3 - it was entirely too large.'
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately
returned the check for $250 with the following note:

'Dear Sir:
#1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a
beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
#2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you
know how to turn it on.
#3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of
regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture
to fill it, please do not blame the management.
So, Please send the rent in full or we will be forced
to contact your present landlady...

😅😅😅😅

Kan Pei

uglyduckling422 — Fri, 02 Dec 2016 09:32:12 +0800

* Kan pei 干杯! *

A Chinese businessman entertaining his guest from England.

Each time the Chinese lift the glass, he says to his British associate: Kan Pei 干杯! (Cheers).

The Englishman was stunned and silent, but he continued eating.

It keeps recurring, each time the Chinese want to drink, he exclaimed: Kan Pei 干杯!

Finally, the British put the cutlery and said aloud to his Chinese associate :
* "It's all right if you CAN'T PAY!
I will pay! Now, shut up and eat !!! *" 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

Beza kos dulu Dan sekarang

uglyduckling422 — Wed, 28 Sep 2016 10:12:36 +0800

*BEZA KOS DULU DAN SKRG*

*Ayah:* "Dulu, masa zaman Ayah, nenek bagi seringgit jer untuk beli brg di kedai kat pekan tu. Ayah boleh dapat keropok, minuman tin, cinggam, gula2, pen, pensil, buku dan mainan"

*Anak:* "Murahnya dulu kan Ayah... sekarang boleh dapat lagi ke Ayah?"

*Ayah:* "sekarang x dpt dah nak.. skrg kedai dah ada CCTV!!!"

😂😂😂😂😂

Tropicana Golf & Country Resort membership

uglyduckling422 — Tue, 20 Sep 2016 16:27:52 +0800

Item(s):
Tropicana Golf & Country Resort membership

Package includes:
Will pay the admin fees of RM20k++

Price: (!!!NOTICE!!!: Sellers are required to display the prices of their products in accordance with the Price Control and Anti-Profiteering Act 2011)
RM110,000 negotiable (actual listed is RM200,000)

Warranty:

Dealing method:
meet up at Club and transfer the membership

Location:
KL

Contact method/details:
pm

Item(s) conditions:

Picture:

Reason for sale:
Too many membership (I'm helping fren only)

Ghost month

uglyduckling422 — Tue, 16 Aug 2016 19:06:09 +0800

Last night, I took a stroll after dinner... When I walked past a convenient store I thought of going in to buy something. Then I realised that I didn't have money with me. So I phoned my family to bring some money to me.

While waiting for my money, I saw an old man burning joss paper by the road side. I went to have a chat with him
"What are you doing here ? " I asked him
"I m sending money to my family " he said.
Then he asked me, " What are you doing here ?"
" I m waiting for my family to send money to me. "

On hearing this, his face turned pale and he ran away quickly.
I shouted to him, " Hey, don't run ! I m just waiting for my family to send money to me !"
Suddenly, all the people burning joss paper nearby also ran away.

By order of the god

uglyduckling422 — Fri, 05 Aug 2016 11:48:19 +0800

*BY THE ORDER OF GOD*

*Beautiful message*

A very poor woman with a small family called-in to a radio station asking for help from God.

A non-believer man who was also listening to this radio program decided to make fun of the woman.

He got her address, called his secretary and ordered her to buy a large amount of foodstuff and take to the woman.

However, he sent it with the following instruction: "When the woman asks who sent the food, tell her that its from the devil.''

When the secretary arrived at the woman's house, the woman was so happy and grateful for the help that had been received. She started putting the food inside her small house.

The Secretary then asked her, ''Don't you want to know who sent the food?''

The woman replied, ''No, Say thanks to whoever sent this! I don't care who the person is because when GOD orders, even the devil obeys_

Are my Testicles black?

uglyduckling422 — Mon, 11 Jul 2016 10:48:03 +0800

ARE MY TESTICLES BLACK ?

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,

very closely:

_"Are - my - test - results - back?" _

Indian English

uglyduckling422 — Mon, 13 Jun 2016 16:33:39 +0800

Extracted from a court report from India

Judge: "Raj, why were you beaten up in public? What did you do?

Raj: "Sir, I am innocent."

Judge: "Why do you say that?"

Raj: "Your honour, I was in crowded bus and my photo fell from wallet. So I only said to lady in front of me, "Aunty, please lift your sari, I want to take photo...."

Drunk driving

uglyduckling422 — Thu, 09 Jun 2016 10:21:43 +0800

Drunk driving

One night, the CEO of a company was drunk driving and he met a police roadblock. He left the car and ran as fast as he could and the police couldn't catch up with him. While running, he called his wife and ask her to make a police report, saying his car got stolen.

The next day, he went to the police station to pick up his car, and while doing that, he congratulate the policemen for their fast action in recovering his car. Police said: that's our duty. We thought someone was drunk driving, and didn't think that he was a car thief!

3rd night, the same boss was drunk driving again and the same shit happens. There's a roadblock in front. He knew the same method can't be used twice, so he stopped the car, locked it and he sat on the road side smoking.

The police came. "Did you drink alcohol?" Asked the police.
Boss: yes I did.
Police: you drink and you drive?
Boss: I didn't. Driver was driving.
Police looked around and couldn't find anyone else. He asked: where's the driver?
Boss said while shaking his head: he ran off.

Since the police look astonished, the boss explained: as soon as the driver saw the roadblock, he swears, keep scolding why did the police come out to disturb ppl and it's already late at night.

Boss said: I heard it and I scolded him. He didn't want to listen and because I was slightly drunk, the alcohol effect took over and I gave him a tight slap. And this slap sent him off, it's so pissing me off right now.
After listening to that, police said: thank you sir. Thank you for standing up for us. Don't worry , let me send you home.the police got into the driver seat and send the boss home.
4th night, the boss went out with 3 friends and they all drank alcohol. Again, they met a roadblock. This time round, the boss asked everyone to get off the car and start pushing the car. When they reached the roadblock, the police asked: what happened?
All of them answered: we drank alcohol, so we can't drive. Instead we will push the car home since its near.
Police looked behind and noticed the long traffic queue. He asked: who drank the least.
Boss: I only took a bottle of beer!
Police: ok. A bottle is nothing. Quickly drive away. Don't block the traffic!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Driving test

uglyduckling422 — Sat, 21 May 2016 11:52:43 +0800

A lady failed her driving test 4 times. At the fifth attempt, she was determined to pass.

But the test had the same question :
"You are driving at 120 mph. On your right is a wall, on your left is a cliff. On the road, you see an old man and a young man. What will you hit ?".

The woman walked up to the examiner and said:
"I've answered this question in all four ways i.e. the wall, cliff, young man, old man. Yet I failed all the four times. How is this possible ? What am I supposed to hit ????"

Examiner :
"The brakes!!!"

😂😂😂😂

husband & wife

uglyduckling422 — Fri, 15 Apr 2016 14:02:13 +0800

Husband is walking behind his wife and he say's,

"Your bottom is getting so big, it looks like an old washing machine"

The wife keeps quiet and keeps on walking.

Bedtime comes around and the husband starts to get amorous.

Wife says "I'm not starting the old washing machine for such a small load"

"You'll better do it by hand"

Password problems

uglyduckling422 — Thu, 27 Aug 2015 09:50:20 +0800

PASSWORD PROBLEMS:

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.

USER: 1 boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.

USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one uppercase character.

USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one uppercase character consecutively.

USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesYouStupidIdiotGiveMeAccessNow!

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

USER : IWillHuntYouDown50BloodyBoiledCabbagesYouStupidIdiotGiveMeAccessNow

WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.😂
(This joke won an award for the Best Joke in a competition held in Britain)

Dworkin book

uglyduckling422 — Mon, 12 Aug 2013 22:32:30 +0800

I got this assignment question

“[A] political society that accepts integrity as a political virtue thereby becomes a special form of community, special in a way that promotes its moral authority to assume and deploy a monopoly of coercive force. … Integrity provides protection against partiality or deceit or other forms of official corruption.”
[Ronald Dworkin, Law’s Empire (1998) p. 188.]

Anyone have this Ronald Dworkin book?? Can give me just few pages of it? or give me some opinion how to do this question? Thank you very much

how to reject an offer for job?

uglyduckling422 — Mon, 03 Jun 2013 09:20:53 +0800

how to reject an offer for job? to tell the truth or lie?