Lowyat.NET: Latest topics by bebee

EPF Buy House Withdrawal Question

bebee — Thu, 18 May 2023 23:52:24 +0800

Hi All Sifu- Sifu Sekalian

I have a question for EPF Buy House Withdrawal.

My husband want to take EPF 1st House Withdrawal

The S&P & Loan is only his name

I have already took my 1st house withdrawal long time ago

can he apply and then withdrawal from my account 2 as well?

What Christmas Present do you get?

bebee — Fri, 27 Dec 2019 10:19:17 +0800

I gave notebooks, books, food

GodFinger Gamer

bebee — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 14:48:23 +0800

hello all

any GodFinger gamers here?

feel free to add me up bebeelim

LYN is so boring on Saturday

bebee — Sat, 25 Sep 2010 10:19:16 +0800

Is it true that LYN is boring especially on weekends?

Iphone got some marking when i'm under the sun

bebee — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 18:51:46 +0800

just wonder what marking is it,
anyone could be kind enough to enlighten me about this ?

Iphone Ringtone & Sms ToneIssue

bebee — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:55:14 +0800

Sorry if i need to create this topic

I would like to knoe how to set sms ring tone, i have added some ringtones to my phone but dont knoe why i could not set it at sms tone.

18 goes into 54 & others

bebee — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 11:48:50 +0800

A husband wrote the following letter for his wife and left it on the dining room table:

To My Dear Wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18-year-old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.

Please don't be upset. I shall be back, home before midnight.

When the man came home late that night he found a letter on the dining room table:

To My Dear Husband,

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Ritz Carlton with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is also 18 years old.

As a successful businessman with an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference; 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

An Israeli doctor says, 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.'

A German doctor says 'That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.

A Russian doctor says 'In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.'

An American doctor from Texas , not to be outdone, says 'You guys are way behind! We took a man with no brains out of Texas , put him in the White House for eight years, and now half the country is looking for work.'

Promotion or Sales going on in Pet Shops

bebee — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 13:42:46 +0800

I understand that there is a lot of animals lovers always need to buy supplies for their furkid and other animals.

This is a thread to inform other forumers about a good bargain they get at those pet shop
eg. some of the items at pet safari ikano offering buy 3 free 1
pet family having 25% discount on selected cages and so on.

lets share the information with all animals lovers ^^

Q & A lol

bebee — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 10:17:53 +0800

A little sexist but nevertheless, funny.

Q: What is the difference between riding a bicycle and a woman?
A: Riding a bicycle you fix your ass & move your legs, riding a woman you fix your legs & move your ass

Q: What makes a happy man?
A: Daughter is on the cover of Vogue, son on the cover of Sports Illustrated, mistress on the cover of Playboy and wife on the cover of Missing persons

Q: What three things are common between the sun and woman's underwear?
A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both disappear at night.

Q: Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own

Q: What's common between men and video?
A: Both go backward...forward...backward...forward...backward....forward..stop and eject

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn't come means you are in big trouble

Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm pleasure?
A: A teabag

Q: 7 qualities to be a perfect wife:
A: Beautiful, Responsible, Energetic, Adorable, Sweet, Truthful and Self-Organized. In short, she must have good B.R.E.A.S.T.S

Q: Who is a gynaecologist ?
A: He is the only fool on the earth who looks for problems in a place, where most people find pleasure.

What's your defination of love?

bebee — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 01:18:49 +0800

Each of everyone have different vies on what is love so question is what is your definition for love?

Not true love, romantic love, just in general and thats included with family and friends not your lover only.

example:

QUOTE

Love is, old age, lack of hair, ache's and pains, knowing the other understands and believing that same regular breathing will be beside you late at night when you feel sad and alone and they will hug you and won't leave you no matter what.

Getting a dog? or another dog?

bebee — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 09:02:36 +0800

Maybe you are thinking about getting a dog. Or maybe thinking about getting another dog?

This is a common question that comes up...should you get a male or female dog? Which is better? Are there characteristics you can associate with each?

Well, to be honest, that is a tough one. Some part of what is best for you will depend on what you are looking for.

Here are some rough generalizations that I'll list as pros and cons:

Pros for Female Dogs:

1. It has been stated that female dogs are easier to train than males.

2. Female dogs tend to be more passive.

3. It has been said that female dogs are more affectionate and make better companions, but, to be honest, the jury is out on that one. We believe that all dogs treated kindly and compassionately in return will give you unconditional love.

4. Yes, it's a fact, a female dog can hold her urine longer than a male dog and some can wait as long as ten to twelve hours if necessary. In a household where no one is home during the day, this is important information in deciding whether to get a female or a male.

5. And, when you and your furry-female companion finally get to go on that much need walk, she will most likely empty her bladder all at once. A male dog takes longer to relive himself because they go in little spurts here and there, especially in the cold.

Cons: for Female Dogs.

1. It is more expensive to spay a female than to neuter a male.

Pros: for Male Dogs:

1. Male dogs may be better watch dogs as they are often more dominant and self-confident.

These are very broad generalizations; every dog is different and both can be great pets.

Another consideration is the sex of the dog you have at home. Most people think it is best to choose a dog of the opposite sex to add to your household. This will decrease the chance of aggression.

Guys Wishlist of a Women

bebee — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 11:24:13 +0800

Mod: if u think its improper it can be removed

Never laugh at Chinese Men

bebee — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 16:06:23 +0800

Chinese man walks into a bank in New York City and
asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer
that he is going to China on business for two weeks
and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need
some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese man
hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the
street in front of the bank. He produces the title and
everything checks out.

The Loan officer agrees to accept the car as
collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its
officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese for
using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a
$5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into
the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two
weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000
and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to
have had your business, and this transaction has
worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that
you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is why
you would bother to borrow $5, 000.The Chinese
replies:

"Where else in New York City can I park my car for
two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there
safely when I return

Reincarnation

bebee — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 11:41:45 +0800

After a night of drinking, Steve crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. 'Who the hell are you?' demanded Steve, 'and what are you doing in my bedroom?'

The mysterious Man answered, 'This is not your bedroom and I'm St. Peter'. Steve was stunned, 'You mean I'm dead!!!That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.. You've got to send me back Right away'.

St Peter replied, 'Yes, you can bereincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.' Steve was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house,he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. 'This ain't so bad' he thought until he feltthis strange feeling welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, 'So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?' 'It's not so bad,' replies Steve, 'butI have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode'.

'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster,'don't tell me you've never laid an egg before.' 'Never,' replies Steve. 'Well just relax and let it happen.' And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail.An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happinesswas overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that had happened to him ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg , he felt an enormous smack on the backof his head and heard his wife shouting,

'Steve, wake up you drunken b@st@rd,you're shittin' on the bed!

Jokes ^^

bebee — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 11:48:06 +0800

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend to death.
Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".

================================================

Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother"
Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"

================================================

What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress

================================================

Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
"Without Information Fighting Everytime"
Wife replies," No, It means ,
"With Idiot For Ever !!!"

================================================

Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
and Panic is when both are pregnant.

================================================

Teacher: u know the importance of period?
Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted,
dad got heart attack & our driver ran away.

================================================

Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps in the U.S?
B'coz people started licking the wrong side.

================================================

Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are yours??
No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.

================================================

Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.

1st: How urs look like?

2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. Wat abt urs?

1st: Forget mine. Lets find urs!!

================================================

Sons asks difference between confidence and confidential
Dad says, you are my son, is confident. ur friend also my son, that's confidential!

================================================

Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this is the right time we should talk about sex.
Daughter (Excitingly) : Sure mom, tell me what do you want to know.
Mother Faints...

Salary Increase

bebee — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 15:52:11 +0800

One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary!!!
Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given ! ! $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,
Norman $oh

The next day, the employee recieved this letter of reply:

Dear NOrman,

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,
Manager

The Dog's & Cat's Diary

bebee — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 02:13:07 +0800

The Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormenters by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly.
I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

The Penis Wants a Raise

bebee — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 16:55:51 +0800

The Penis Wants a Raise

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

1-------- I do physical labor.

2.------- I work at great depths.

3.------- I plunge head first into everything I do.

4.------- I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

5.--------I work in a damp environment.

6. -------I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.

7.------- I work in high temperatures.

8. -------My work exposes me to diseases.

Reply: Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the management denies your request for the following reasons:

1. ------You do not work 8 hours straight.

2. ------You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after EACH brief work period.

3. ------You do not always follow the orders of the management team.

4. ------You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen visiting other locations.

5. ------You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.

6. ------You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

7. ------You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.

8. ------You will retire LONG before you are 65.

9. ------You are unable to work double shifts.

10. -----You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.

11. -----And if that were not all, you have constantly been seen entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely, The Management

Five reasons not to be a penis:

1. ------You're bald your whole life.

2. ------You have a hole in your head.

3. ------Your neighbors are nuts.

4. ------The guy behind you is an ass hole and...

5. ------Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint.

Who is the driver for Ferrari Formula 1?

bebee — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 11:45:08 +0800

Who is the driver for Ferrari Formula 1?

i just remember
micheal schumacher
kimi raikkonen
felipe massa

cheapest way to mod your car

bebee — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 00:17:46 +0800