Lowyat.NET: Latest topics by humanfly

Shift Scheduling Software

humanfly — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 18:11:28 +0800

Anyone who knows any company that sells shift scheduling software please do pass the contact to me.

I need it for my company as we need to schedule shift work for our staff that are working on a rotating shift of 24x7. is very hard for me as we are doing it manually and at times we might make a mistake.

Thanks

Please do PM me the contacts or can ask them to email me directly. (please pm me for my email address)

Doctors Joke

humanfly — Thu, 09 Dec 2010 12:10:02 +0800

A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered . . . It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green and above it there was a tattoo that read . . .' Keep off the grass.'

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said 'Sorry... had to mow the lawn.'

Submitted by RN no name,

FAS League Squad Selection

humanfly — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 09:03:11 +0800

HI...if i have posted wrongly in this thread pls acceptmy apology. I posted here to get more attention as I believe all of us in here are football fans or maybe a player themselves. I am doing this 'For The Love Of The Game'

SUNDAY COWBOYS FOOTBALL CLUB SEEKS FRESH YOUNG TALENT TO MOUNT A STRONGER CHALLENGE IN FAS DIVISION 1 LEAGUE 2011 SEASON

Date : 11 December 2010
Time : 4pm
Venue : Padang Utara, Petaling Jaya
...
Sunday Cowboys Football Club will be holding trials/selection to power its current League Squad with the aim of mounting a more formidable challenge in next year’s Football Association of Selangor’s Division 1 League.

The club achieved a respectable top 8 finish in the 2010 season and seeks to continue the good momentum for the coming season and have already begun training sessions in October.

Players must be Malaysian Citizens above the age of 18 and in good physical condition to attend the selection process.

Those interested are invited to attend the selection at Padang Utara on the coming 11 December (Saturday) 4pm and should come equipped and dressed with proper football gear.

For more information, please contact Hamzah (Coach) at 016-6002127

or visit our facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/?flyingspaghettimonster=home#!/ev...125905924136141

Jobs Made in America...

humanfly — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 14:51:38 +0800

Copy from another thread

John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN ) for 6 a.m. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN PHILIPPINES). He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN VIETNAM). After cooking his breakfast in his new electric
skillet (MADE IN INDIA), then he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO ) to see how much he could spend today.

After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA ), he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY ) filled it with GAS (from Saudi Arabia ) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB. At the end of
yet another discouraging and fruitless day, checking his computer (MADE IN MALAYSIA), John decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL), poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE), and turned on
his TV (MADE IN KOREA), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in AMERICA .

AND NOW HE'S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM A PRESIDENT MADE IN KENYA!

Who wanna watch movie with me?

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 07:30:00 +0800

Love Classified

humanfly — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 22:24:17 +0800

Love Classifieds (http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/932613), does it really works ??

anyone found a partner from there ???

to me I did receive soem PM, then after a few messages, then chat on MSN then no more reply already...hmm..i wonder if they are really serious or just play around only

9 A Side Football Tournament

humanfly — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 00:21:09 +0800

Sunday Cowboys Football Club is organizing a 9-Aside Football tournament called Selangor Super 9 on 09 and 10 Oct 2010 at SUK Sports Complex, Shah Alam.
This tournament is being sanction by Football Association of Selangor. This tournament targets the age group of below 23.
Champion will take home RM5000 cash, Champion Trophy and Medal for each player.

For further details or entry form, please do PM me with your email address and I will email the form to you. Thank you.

Dear Alcohol

humanfly — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 18:26:56 +0800

Dear Alcohol:

First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holiday's hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:

1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important,
I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear
from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?

2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat
after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries) I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.

3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do
more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.

4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evenings debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B , bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily activities.

Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like
To ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully
review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible
solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.

Thank you,
Your biggest fan

P.S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
5. Specificity

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN
DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing

Seeking advice

humanfly — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 16:05:26 +0800

Anyone heard of this part time business before

Qi Group of Companies
some of their website

www.qviclub.com
www.xchangeworld.com
www.the-v-net
www.quest.net.my
and a few more...

HQ is in Hong Kong.

please do advice... to me it seems like can work...what i need to do is to invest a certain amount..then intro 2 friend that join and per week can get roughly RM1000... dunno if is a scam or not larr

V-ENS or LG CNS

humanfly — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 16:59:16 +0800

anyone who had worked there or currently working there ?

would appreciate some comment about the company.

thanks

Do Not Disturb

humanfly — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 17:14:49 +0800

A travel agent was with a batch of new tour guides. They had to put a night in Genting Highland. Upon their arrival, the tour manager showed the guides to their rooms.

The next morning, as the manager was preparing the guides for the day's route, he noticed one of the new guide was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the manager asked, "Why not?"

The guide replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

HELP : HTC P3300 to connect to WEP185 Bluetooth

humanfly — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 15:25:54 +0800

hi..i need assistance.

i am unable to connect my PDA HTC P3300 to a bluetooth device, WEP185.

I turn on the bluetooth and do a search but failed to find the blue tooth device. is there any thing that i need to do at the bluetooth device Samsung WEP185 ??

Your guys help is very much appreciated