Lowyat.NET: Latest topics by xiong

latest iphone 5, 6, 7 reviews

xiong — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 00:21:59 +0800

i find these vids amusing . hope this isnt a repost

[YOUTUBE]mCC0FMkRjtI[/YOUTUBE]

[YOUTUBE]5ju1-k7cldA[/YOUTUBE]

[YOUTUBE]DHFEjD_ACuY[/YOUTUBE]

Senses Challenge- Check your senses

xiong — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 22:16:36 +0800

After checking post your results

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/bod...enseschallenge/

mine was 20/20

3 men standing in front of God

xiong — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 22:07:48 +0800

God: Men, what car you get in Heaven will depend on how faithful you were to your wives on Earth.
Man 1: Please God, I can't count how many times I cheated on my wife. There were just too many beautiful women on Earth, and I had to have them all.

God: I am ashamed of you, my man, For that, I give you a run-down truck that barely moves.

Man 2: Dear God, please forgive me! I cheated on my wife once, just once! We were going through problems and I took the wrong turn. Please forgive me!

God: My man, I am ashmed of you too. But I will be kinder to you. For that, I give you a convertible BMW.

Man 3: Dear God, you will be so proud of me. I loved and worshipped my wife. I brought her roses everyday after work, I brought her gifts every aniversary, and we went travelling, and had dinner out 3 times a week, and...

God: Okay, my man, enough! I get the point. I am very proud of you! For that, I give you any car you desire!

Two weeks later Man 1 and 2 are driving on the freeway when they see Man 3 ahead of them, stopped in the middle of the road in his Black Jaguar.

Man 1 and 2: Hey Man! Why are you sitting in your car and crying your eyes out? You're acting like some ungrateful bugger! Look at your car, man! What is your problem?!

Man 3: "I just saw my wife on rollerskates!"

Google maps lolwut

xiong — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 13:17:20 +0800

Go to Google Maps and click “Get Directions.” Get directions leading from China to Taiwan, and look at instruction #55.

Petey and the hidden presents joke

xiong — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 13:58:34 +0800

The teacher to the children: "The holidays are coming so today we're gonna play to ask you if you know where your parents hide your presents before Christmas". Let's see Mary, Where do you think your parents hide your presents?". "In the closet", Mary said. Very good, let's see Arnie, "where do you think your mother hid your presents?". "Below the bed, Miss", said the boy.
Very good, now let's see Petey, "where do you think your father hid your presents?" -"Under his balls, Miss", The teacher was shocked to hear that... "Under what?.. Why would you say something like that, Petey?" -"Oh Miss, it's because every time I ask my dad where is my bicycle he grabs his balls and say -Here's your bicycle".

Question regarding

xiong — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 00:08:54 +0800

hi everyone, need help here, lets say my friend from sg wanna xfer $ to my bank acc , btw im in msia and using cimb, what method should she go for, provided my fren has no bank acc with cimb? cash deposit machine possible? if its possible then does cdm accepts other currency than sgd? lol im a newbie in banking stuff, please forgive me

Social security joke

xiong — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 23:27:05 +0800

A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "I will have to go home and come back later." The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed his Social Security application.

When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office. She says, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too."

Fetish Fail

xiong — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 23:12:17 +0800

Pokémon Writer, 61, Dies

xiong — Sat, 30 Oct 2010 01:41:45 +0800

Yesterday, Pokémon writer Takeshi Shudo was rushed to the hospital after suffering a hemorrhage and collapsing at Nara Station. He has since passed away. Shudo was 61 years-old.

Shudo created TV anime Fairy Princess Minky Momo and worked on various anime through the 80s and 90s. He became the chief writer for the original Pokémon television series and went on to write the first three Pocket Monsters feature films.

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

laptop temperature

xiong — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 21:08:35 +0800

Hello peoples , can anyone tell me whats wrong with my laptop ? i can hear something spinning real loud, i suspect my fan is making the noise due to overheat? Picture uploaded.

The Black man's sacrifice...

xiong — Sun, 26 Sep 2010 17:45:43 +0800

A Hilarious Tale of Two Chickens

xiong — Sun, 26 Sep 2010 15:02:09 +0800

A farmer rears twenty-five young hens and one old c0ck. As he feels that the old c0ck could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer bought one young c0ck from the market.

Old c0ck to Young c0ck : "Welcome to join me, we will work together towards productivity.

Young c0ck : What you mean? As far as I know, you are old and should be retired.

Old c0ck : Young boy, there are twenty-five hens here, can't I help you with some?

Young c0ck : No! Not even one, all of them will be mine.

Old c0ck : In this case, I shall challenge you to a competition and if I win you shall allow me to have one hen and if I loose you will have all.
Young c0ck : O.K. What kind of competition?

Old c0ck: 50 meter run. From here to that tree. But due to my age, I hope you allow me to start off the first 10 meters.

Young c0ck : No problem ! We will compete tomorrow morning.

Confidently, the following morning, the Young c0ck allows the Old c0ck to start off and when the Old c0ck crosses the 10 meters mark the Young c0ck chases him with all his might.

Soon enough, he was behind the Old c0ck back in a matter of seconds.

Suddenly, Bang! ...... before he could overtake the old c0ck, he was shot dead by the farmer, who cursed, "Hell ! This is the fifth GAY chicken I've bought this week !"

PC Wins Everytime

xiong — Sun, 26 Sep 2010 12:14:55 +0800

One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor." His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs $10.

Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:

" You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks.......".

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.

The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its lights, and printed out the following analysis:

" Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your elbow will never get better ".

Want to trick your friends?

xiong — Sun, 26 Sep 2010 11:59:55 +0800

Want to play a trick on your friends? Here's a method for duping your friends. Here's how to create a cheating dice:

big monster drift

xiong — Sat, 25 Sep 2010 23:43:17 +0800

Beggars

xiong — Sat, 25 Sep 2010 21:46:31 +0800

Jose and Carlos are beggars.

They beg in different areas of town.

Carlos begs for the same amount of time

as Jose, but collects only about $8.00 or $9.00 a day.

Jose brings home a suitcase full of ten-dollar

bills every day. He drives a Mercedes,

lives in a mortgage-free house, and has

a lot of money to spend.

"Hey, amigo," Carlos says to Jose,

"I work just as long and hard as you do,

so how come you bring home a suitcase

full of ten dollar bills every day?

Jos says,

"Look at your sign, what does it say?"

Carlos reads his sign:

"I have no work, a wife and six kids to support."

"What's wrong with that?" Carlos asks him.

"No wonder you only get $8.00 or $9.00 a day!" says Jose.

Carlos says,

"All right amigo, what is on your sign?"

Old lady and her farts

xiong — Sat, 25 Sep 2010 20:29:02 +0800

An old lady came into her doctor’s office and confessed to an embarrassing problem: “I fart all the time, Dr. Johnson, but they’re silent, and they have no odor. In fact, since I’ve been here, I’ve farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?”

“Here’s a prescription, Mrs. Barker. Take these pills three times a day for seven days. Then come back to see me in a week.”

The next week, an upset Mrs. Barker marched into Dr. Johnson’s office: “Doctor, I don’t know what was in those pills, but the problem is now much worse. I’m farting just as much, and they’re still silent, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?”

“Calm down, Mrs. Barker,” replied the doctor soothingly. “Now that we’ve fixed your sinuses, we can begin to work on your hearing!!”

Peter Chao

xiong — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 22:13:28 +0800

[YOUTUBE]SVP0msC8JCg[/YOUTUBE]

[YOUTUBE]YHTyGWtPzqw[/YOUTUBE]

has anyone watched this yet?

xiong — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 23:02:58 +0800

[YOUTUBE]BA5cCFJTlLQ[/YOUTUBE]

Advanced SystemCare PRO

xiong — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 15:33:28 +0800

Make your computer Faster and + Speed Game Booster.

IObit Advanced SystemCare PRO
Advanced SystemCare Pro provides an always-on, automated, all-in-one PC Healthcare Service with anti-spyware, privacy protection, performance tune-ups, and system cleaning capabilities. This powerful and award-winning precision tool fixes stubborn errors, cleans out clutter, optimizes Internet and download speeds, ensures personal security, and maintains maximum computer performance automatically.

Security 360 PRO
is an advanced malware & spyware removal utility that detects, removes the deepest infections, and protects your PC from various of potential spyware, adware, trojans, keyloggers, bots, worms, and hijackers. With the unique "Dual-Core" engine and the heuristic malware detection, Security 360 PRO detects the most complex and deepest spyware and malware in a very fast and efficient way.

Smart Defrag
What’s the primary cause of slow/unstable PC performance? It’s disk fragmentation. Smart Defrag helps defragment your hard drives more efficiently than any other product on the market –– free or not. This powerful, award-winning free defragmenter is 100% safe and clean with no adware, spyware, or viruses.

GAME BOOSTER
Designed to help optimize your PC for smoother, more responsive game play in the latest PC games with the touch of a button, Game Booster helps achieve the performance edge previously only available to highly technical enthusiasts.
It works by defragmenting game directories, temporarily shutting down background processes, cleaning RAM, and intensifying processor performance. That means you can keep all the features of operating systems ready for when you need them, but turn them off when you are ready to get down to serious business – gaming.
Works compatible with PunkBuster, Cheating-Death, VAC, and any other anti-cheat software, Game Booster makes it simpler to enjoy the latest games and take your experience to a new level. All systems go!