Lowyat.NET: Latest topics by MG4

Astro Satellite and Decoder

MG4 — Fri, 17 Oct 2014 11:32:58 +0800

Hi Lowyat members,

i have a question... if i terminate my astro account, do they take back the satellite and the decoder? or is there any chances for me to get 1 more satellite and decoder to fix at my new house so that i can use 1 account for my both houses. need valuable replies and suggestions.

Thank you.

Gen2 And Persona CPS Front Grill

MG4 — Thu, 09 Jan 2014 20:35:44 +0800

Item(s): Gen2 And Persona CPS Front Grill

Package includes:
- suitable for Proton Persona Elegance (plug and play)
- no need modification on your bumper
- 1set CPS grill without mark top (emblem)
- item new and original from proton (OEM)
- look more sporty

Price: PM

Warranty: NIL

Dealing method: Cash or COD
Postage can be arrange but postage by buyer
Location of seller: Penang

Contact method/details: Whatsapp/SMS : 010-3774112

Age of item: New

---

Item(s) conditions: New

Reason for sale:Business

Pinso Tyres

MG4 — Thu, 12 Sep 2013 17:03:08 +0800

Hi guys,

Anyone heard about or using Pinso Tyres which are made from Indonesia?

Please kindly share your opinions on it... I have googled but not much infos i cud get..

Need your kind help peepz..

lelaki hensem vs lelaki tak hensem

MG4 — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 15:02:13 +0800

Kalau lelaki hensem : banyak bercakap
Perempuan akan cakap : petah berbicara dan banyak idea
Kalau lelaki buruk : banyak bercakap
Perempuan akan cakap : memekak je..ingat orang suka ke!

Kalau lelaki hensem : dituduh buat jahat
Perempuan akan kata : itu semua karut!..ada orang sakit ati kat dia tuh!..
Kalau lelaki buruk : dituduh buat jahat
Perempuan akan cakap : memang sah dia yang buat!..muka pun macam pecah rumah!

Kalau lelaki handsome : menolong perempuan yg diganggu
Perempuan akan cakap : wah.. machonya.. macam hero filem!
Kalau lelaki buruk : menolong perempuan yang diganggu
Perempuan akan kata : entah-entah yang ganggu tadi tu.. kawan-kawan dia...

Kalau lelaki handsome : jalan dengan perempuan cantik
Perempuan akan kata : wah..padan sangat...
Kalau lelaki buruk : jalan dengan perempuan cantik
Perempuan akan kata : mesti kena bomoh perempuan tuh!

Kalau lelaki handsome : ditinggal kekasih
Perempuan akan kata : jangan sedih...(dalam hati-bodoh betul perempuan tuh!

Marriage jokes! LOL

MG4 — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 14:42:05 +0800

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
———— ——— ——— —-

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –

It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
———— - ——– ——— ——— ——— –

It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women
and then he turns them into Wives.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –

If u r married please ignore this msg,
for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he’ll fall asleep before you finish.
——– —- ——— ——— ——— ——— –

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.
It’s called marriage.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –

Girlfriends r like chocolates,
taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like leftovers, eaten when there’s no choice.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don’t take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –

There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would
go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –

Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you
continue to do so for the rest of your life!
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –

Q: Why doesn’t law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –

Here comes the Ultimate One

Prospective husband: Do you have a book called ‘Man, The Master of Women’?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

Can U answer atleast One ?

MG4 — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 14:32:56 +0800

An elephant has 5 bananas and it is hungry , but yet it does not eat the bananas. Why?

..
..
..
..
..
..

..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..

..
..
..
..
..
..
..

..
..
..
..
..

Because the bananas are made of plastic.

Next.Q

The 5 bananas are real , but yet the elephant does not eat it. Why?

..
..

..
..
..
..
..
..
..

..
..
..

..
..
..

..
..
..
..
Because the elephant is made of plastic.

Hahhaa.never give up.one more..

Both the elephant and the bananas are real , but yet it cannot eat it.
..
..
..
..

..
..

Why ?

..
..
..
..

..
..
..
..

..
..
..
..

..
..
..
..
..
..

Because the bananas are in the TV.

Ooops!!! Cool down.

Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV , but yet it
cannot eat it. Why?

..
..
..
..

..
..
..
..
,
,
,

,
,
,
,
, .
..
..
..

..
..
..

Because they are on different channels.

Hohohohoohohoh..hehehe

Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV and on the
same channel , but yet it cannot eat it. Why?
..
..
..
..
..

..
..
..
..
..

..
..
..
..
..
..

..
..
..
..
..
Cmon think ..
..
..
..
...
..
..
..

..
..
..
..
..

..
..
..
..
..
..

..
..
..

..
..
..
..

..
..
..
..

..
..
..

Because the TV is off.

Hee Hee Hee J

Now Finally the Elephant gets a chance to eat the bananas. Why?

Why do u think so much...let that poor animal have some food....n u get back to your work :...heheheh !!!!!!!!

Illegal & Illogical

MG4 — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 12:57:45 +0800

After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"

Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"

Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question.

If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "

Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"

Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.

One student immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."

Women's Clever Answers to Men's Pick-Up Lines

MG4 — Wed, 13 Mar 2013 10:21:26 +0800

Women's Clever Answers to Men's Pick-Up Lines‏

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "What sign were you born under?"
Woman: "No Parking."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter" (or) "Stop."

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized!"

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you...to leave."

Man: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

Man: "May I see you pretty soon?"
Woman: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"

Ultimate one.... Man,wife and dog...

MG4 — Wed, 13 Mar 2013 10:10:06 +0800

A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most Unusual funeral procession A funeral coffin was followed by a second one About 50 feet behind the first. Behind the second coffin was a solitary man Walking with a black dog. Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in Single line. The man couldn't stand his curiosity.

He approached the man walking with the dog, "I am so sorry for your loss, And I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral Like this with so many of you walking in single line. Whose funeral is It?"

The man replied, "Well, that first coffin is for my wife."

"What happened to her?"

The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second coffin?"

The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked and killed her also."

A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men. Then the first One asks in excitement, "Can I borrow the dog?"

The man replied, "Join the queue."

Senior Dating...

MG4 — Wed, 13 Mar 2013 09:48:00 +0800

Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are talking.

Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer."

Edna: "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 P.M., dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers!

Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there but a luxury car... a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all. Then he takes me out for dinner... a marvelous dinner... lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks.

Then we go see a show. Let me tell you, Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me two times!"

Dorothy: "Goodness gracious!... so you are telling me I shouldn't go out with him?"

Edna: "No, no, no... I'm just saying, wear an old dress."

Some More humour

MG4 — Wed, 13 Mar 2013 09:27:06 +0800

Ali asked her new girlfriend what sort of books she's interested in.
She said: Cheque books.

The easiest way to make your old car run better,
is to check the prices of new car.

What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
Ans: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute
and then expects your pulse to be normal.

Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?
New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.

Ques: Why dogs don't marry?
Ans : Because they are already leading a dog's life!

Ques: What's the diff between mother & wife?
Ans: One woman brings you
into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.

Santa enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and
closes it. He does this again and again. Why?
Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.

Problems in girls laptops

MG4 — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 14:39:32 +0800

Here is the full story

Muthu oo Muthu

MG4 — Fri, 08 Mar 2013 09:00:31 +0800

* MUTHU & THE INTERVIEWER *
Interviewer : "What is your birth date?"
Muthu : "25th October."
Interviewer : "Which year?"
Muthu : "Every year."

*****

* MUTHU & HIS MANAGER *
The Manager asked Muthu at an interview....
"Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?"
Muthu replied: "P-O-S-T-B-O-X."

*****

* MUTHU & LONDON TRIP *
After returning from a foreign trip, Muthu asked his
wife, "Do I look like a foreigner?"
Wife: "No! Why?"
Muthu : "In London , a lady asked me, 'Are you a foreigner?'...that's why."
Wife : ?????????

*****

* MUTHU & TOURIST *
A tourist from U.S.A. asked Muthu whether any great man was
born in his village... and Muthu said .. "No sir, only babies were born here."

*****

* MUTHU & HIS EXPERIMENT *
Muthu was doing an experiment with a cockroach. First
he cut off one leg and told it to "WALK! WALK!" The cockroach walked.
Then he cut off it's second leg and told the same. The cockroach walked.
Then he cut off the third leg and did the same. Finally, he cut
off its fourth leg and ordered it walk! But the cockroach didn't
walk. Suddenly, Muthu said loudly, "I found it.
If we cut a cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf."

*****

* MUTHU & DRIVER *
When Muthu was travelling with his wife in a motorised
tricycle, the driver adjusted the mirror.
Muthu shouted, "You are trying to see my wife, eh? Sit in the back. I will drive."

*****

* MUTHU GOES TO HOTEL *
Muthu went into a hotel. To wash his hands, he went to
the washbasin.
Then when he had finished, he started washing the basin.
Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing. Muthu pointed
towards the s ignboard "* WASH BASIN * "

*****

* MUTHU & INTERVIEWER - FINAL PART *
Interviewer : "Just imagine you're in the 20th floor
of a building and it's on fire. How will you escape?"
Muthu: "It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination."

*****

Lecture

MG4 — Fri, 08 Mar 2013 08:33:54 +0800

An elderly was stopped by the police around 2 a.m and was asked where he was going at that time of night.

The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as

smoking and staying out late."

The officer then asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

[WTS] Development Land at Batu Feringgi, Penang

MG4 — Fri, 28 Dec 2012 10:18:22 +0800

Development Land at Batu Feringgi, Penang

Type: Land, For sale

Title type: Freehold

Size: 15.6 Acres

Area: Batu Feringghi

Other info: Non Bumi Lot

Price: RM 50 000 000

Existing essential amenities and recreation facilities such as shops, petrol kiosks, police station, financial institution, clinic, schools and business centres are available in the vicinity. ‘Grade A’ location of Batu Ferringhi, Penang with Sea View. Surrounded by high-end community, expatriates focus, tourism spot, international school, high-end condos and upcoming exclusive development by Mah Seng Group and yet still maintain the natural feeling of the backyard forest. 15.6 acres are an ideal size for its own development or even joint development with the existing developer. Offer price is attractive and competitive enough compared to the recent transaction done somewhere that area. Located within Batu Feringghi district, accessible from Georgetown City via the main trunk road of Jalan Tanjung Tokong, Jalan Tanjung Bungah, Jalan Batu Feringghi and onto Jalan Sungai Satu on left. On the west or subject properties are Teluk Bahang whilest to the east are Tanjung Bungah. Immediate vicinity includes Shangrila’s Rasa saying Resort, Holiday Inn Hotel, International School of Penang (UPLANDS), EDEN Seaview Condominium.

Feel free to contact us for more details... tq