Lowyat.NET: Latest topics by TriggerHappy

My Ex spread racy photos of me on FB

TriggerHappy — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 00:16:20 +0800

You can fast forward to the important part at the end. Friends, just really need some advice on this situation Angry, frustrated, depressed

The Long Story

About the ex:
I was 16 years old and he was 18 then. We met online and hit it off pretty well, though he was pretty cautious about our friendship at first. He doesn't trust people easily.

Well, for some reason, he started asking me for relationship advice and soon, I was the one attracted to him. Once we established that this was mutual, we were "unofficially" a couple because he said he could only really date a girl he'd met before.

We met after 8 months when my family decided to take a vacation where he lived. We were really happy and it was finally official. Pretty soon after that he started asking for phone-sex and such. I was fine with it, since we were an LDR and didn't get to meet each other often.

This is my first relationship, and since I came from an all girls school, I have next to no actual dating experience with guys. I thought this was pretty normal.

Fast forward a year into the relationship, we broke up a few times, but almost always got back together the next day. The first time was because he said I didn't pay enough attention towards him. Apparently I missed replying one of his texts while I was in tuition and suddenly that meant I didn't care. I was completely thrown, but I wanted to give it another try.

Other times were because I said I felt there was too much emphasis on sex in our relationship and I didn't feel ready for that. He got really hurt about that... like I betrayed him? He almost always turned it back on me though, but I would always have to be the only apologising and begging for him to take me back.

Then he started feeling depressed from some stress he was receiving at his internship and he started having 'thoughts' that he couldn't get out of his mind. This put a huge strain on the relationship since at this point, I was his lover and his only confidant.

I was also sitting for my national exams at the time. He refused to talk to anyone else about this, even when it got really serious (he started calling me up sobbing about it). He kept saying his parents wouldn't understand and he didn't believe it when I told him the symptoms sounded like he had OCD.

(Another on-going argument, he doesn't like taking advice from anyone so whenever we talked about important stuff, I felt like I didn't have much of a say or I was just ignored) I could feel it bothered him a lot but I also felt extremely helpless. It distanced us so much, along with it being an LDR and everything else going on. He also complained constantly.

It was just like a cycle and it never got any better. He either threw everything at me or he constantly tortured himself over it (which was somehow also my job to make it better).

I also felt that he never made any effort to keep us together. I always had to be the one to fly to his place, and any future plans were also made with me going to live with him. He never came to visit me because as a 20 year old guy, his parents won't allow him to come over. I mean, seriously? It was like I existed only for him.

The Short Story

Anyway, I finally had enough and I broke things off with him definitely before I entered college. It was then that he flew over to my place to beg for me back, then he tried to kiss me against my will(?!) I freaked and ran away. I considered being just friends, but from his behaviour, I could guess he would always try to get me back, which I couldn't take.

At the same time, I started getting closer to guy A, whom I had met in college. After finding out about guy A, my ex gets furious and thinks I've been cheating on him the whole time. He sends guy A threatening texts with lewd messages that implicate that I had sex with my ex. Which I never did!

Thankfully Guy A stood by my side, and I was really worried at this point since I rather liked guy A and I didn't want this to jeopardize anything between us. At this point I didn't contact my ex at all, except to tell him not to text or call me anymore. I thought a cutting off all contact was better for the both of us, since he had shown his true nature.

Shortly later on guy A's birthday, my ex managed to add him on facebook under a fake account(he tried to add me too, but luckily I didn't accept) and he posted racy photos of me in public, tagging guy A, who was by now my boyfriend. I was devastated and completely humiliated. I can only imagine how guy A felt! One of the worse days of my life. Even got into a car accident because of this that day...

Later that same day, my ex texted me that if I didn't call him at exactly 7:30pm, he was going to send some mail with the photos to my house addressed to my parents. (!!!) When I tried calling him, he said I was too late, so he wouldn't pick up. I was so depressed and helpless, I didn't know who I was more angry at. Myself or my ex.

Guy A was always there by my side, even after I told him that those pictures were true. He never judged me or blamed me for anything and I'm really grateful for that.

Finally now, months later, EX says he misses me alot and he can't talk to anyone else about his stuff, so can we be friends?

What do I say to that? I can't honestly be his friend after what happened. I feel so much disgust that I'm even replying his texts because I'm afraid that he'll change and start threatening me again... My ex is not remorseful of what he did and actually believes I should be the one that's grateful that he's talking to me, since I left him. He's always been arrogant, but this really takes the cake...

Guy A hates the idea of me talking to my ex (I do too) and it's affecting our relationship. But he says he just wants me to be safe and happy and if this is how we need to do it, so be it? What do I do?

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[UPDATE]

Ok, after much thought, I went ahead and told my mum about the situation. Yeah, she's disappointed.
It was bad, but it was definitely worth it. She told my dad as well.
She said she'll go to the Singapore High Commission to see what we can do about it, and my dad is blocking his number from my line.

We'll be submitting a police report soon.

Plus, my ex knows my parents know.
He called me on new years looking for a chat, but when after I answered, I passed the phone to my parents.
He got a stern warning from my dad, but he didn't say anything at all and quickly put down.

Even though they introduced themselves, he didn't believe it was them.

QUOTE

"I'm not sure who is that person on the phone just now but if theres something that is needed to be ask/talk to me I will respond. That person may call/text me. Or you wanted to ignore me so u asked someone else to talk? Im just calling to chat but at least let me know wads happening? That was so sudden... I would appreciate a reply."

So polite now?

We shall see what happens next... but basically I just wanted to thank everyone who gave me advice on this issue.

Is using moisturizer really necessary?

TriggerHappy — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 16:20:29 +0800

Hey there,

I was just wondering, how important is including a moisturizer in your daily skin-care routine? Can I leave it out?
I seem to be doing fine without it after applying my toner, but when I do use it, I feel like it causes more acne than before. It just makes me feel like its unnecessary. I don't even use it before applying makeup.

I can't tell if my skin is dry or oily or a combination thing going on. It just feels normal. :S How do I check?

I'm using Simple Clear Skin Oil Balancing Moisturizer + toner and exfoliating wash from the same line.

All About Coloured Contacts

TriggerHappy — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 01:55:41 +0800

Hi all! I haven't seen any topics on coloured contacts, or even about contacts at all actually.

I started using contacts last year so I thought it might be a good idea to have a place to discuss such things since we always need to take care of our eyes (so important), haha.

So I wanted to find out from our lovely forumers:

1) What's your favourite brand for contacts(coloured and non-coloured)?
2) Best solution to clean?
3) How long do your contacts usually last? (Do you prefer daily/fortnightly/monthly) And why?
4) What you like about contacts?
5) Any particular dislike?
6) For coloured lens, what colour do you like best?

What I Have Used:

1-Day Acuvue Moist
Daily Acuvue Clear
FreshLook Colourblend Monthly Contacts (3 Months)
Bausch + Lomb Soflens (Monthly)
Bausch + Lomb Renu (Solution)
Solo Care Aqua (Solution)

My Experience so far

I bought my coloured contacts and my B + L lenses straight from my optometrist. The rest were over-the-counter places like optical shops. I quite like my B + L lenses compared to Acuvue because it feels more comfortable to me.

When I used Acuvue in the beginning (well, it might be due to my inherent noobness with contacts at the time), I felt like I had double vision at times, and this did not happen when I switched lenses to B+L. Maybe it was due to the difference between daily and monthly lenses, but then again, shouldn't daily lenses be more comfortable?

For coloured lenses, since I have only tried FreshLook, I can't give much comparison on that. But overall it's not as comfortable as clear contact lenses. I didn't expect my vision to be as reduced as when I wear coloured contacts and my eyes got tired a lot faster.

For comparison's sake, I could wear my clear lenses with close to zero discomfort (felt as if I wasn't wearing it at all) for almost 16 hours. On the other hand, my coloured contacts could only last me about 8 hours before the effects started to set in. I guess you strain your eyes a lot more trying to see through coloured contacts and I'm wondering, has anyone else experienced this? Please comment~

PS: I wore amethyst and steel grey. Amethyst is less distinctive for Asian eyes (on the poster it was almost reddish-purple, LOL) and it is one of the more "subtle" shades out there. (At first my mum couldn't even tell the difference between my coloured contacts and my natural eye colour -.-)

On another note, for solutions I would recommend getting smaller bottles and buying a lot of them at one go, if you can. Try to get it from your optometrist's clinic since it'll be cheaper to order through them. I tried buying one BIG bottle because I thought it will last me longer, but sometimes they expire before you use the whole bottle. If you get smaller bottles, you will open as the need arises = less wastage. And small bottles are convenient to carry around in case of any emergencies. Also, NEVER let the nozzle of your solution bottle touch anything else, even your hand. This is to prevent contamination by foreign particles. It is essential that good hygiene plays a part in your daily eye-contact routine.

A big question for me was daily vs. monthly. Both have their obvious pros and cons, but I'll just tell you about my experience with each of them and also transitioning from daily to monthly.

In the beginning, I was encouraged to use daily contact lenses as they were considered a more hygienic method of wearing contacts. Reason being, you don't need to be responsible for washing them/ re-wearing them. However, I have also heard about people wearing these daily contacts for about a week, maybe treating it as "no pain, no problem". But this, I must stress, is VERY DANGEROUS TO YOUR EYES. Especially if you don't even buy solution to clean them during that period. I think it's better safe than sorry since I only have one pair of eyes, so I never keep mine for more than a day.

Daily contacts are also for people who feel they don't need to wear them everyday/prefer glasses sometimes. I wore these when I was a student, but only for special occasions. In the end, it was also a hassle deciding when to wear my contacts as I only had a limited number of pairs and once you wear contacts...it's quite hard to get back into glasses. (the confidence level drops). I think dailies should be fine for people who are not used to wearing them, but don't buy too many. Compared to daily, the cost of monthly contacts is really pay-per-wear. The more you wear, the more value added to the cost. You can't use this to measure daily contacts, so.. sometimes the cost of daily vs. monthly is really not as vast as you think. Sometimes monthly can be cheaper! (If you're like me, I wear them almost everyday, haha and no hassle deciding)

About transitioning, just be prepared to clean, clean, clean since now we introduce Solution to your contact routine, haha. Your best friend in keeping your eyes safe from dirt and irritation! Try not to slack, as now we can't just throw the lenses away, so yes, some diligence required. But for me, it wasn't so much cleaning the lenses as making sure I don't sleep with them on, lol. Make sure your hands are free from water when you clean your lenses/ touch your eyes! Specially tap water, it's really not safe to touch your eyes/lenses as there are amoeba present in the liquid. You wouldn't want your eyes to get infected. (confirmed by my optometrist). Instead, try drying your hands with paper towels/ tissues after washing them or your eyes might get a little red and irritated when you put your lenses in.

A little tip, if you have bought coloured contacts + clear lenses at the same time and like to alternate between them (for professional purposes + partying, free time purposes), don't worry about wasting your contact's expiry date because you can't wear both at the same time and you already opened em together.

What I do is, I make sure that I always store them in a cool place (preferably the fridge, not the freezer) when I'm not using them. This keeps bacterial activity to a minimum (kind of like how you increase a food's lifespan with refrigeration). Keep a record of how many days you use them, ONLY when you use them, Don't count the days you kept them in your fridge without using them and it should be fine as long as your eyes are not uncomfortable and you don't go past a month using this method. I've done this before and, so far it works to keep both me and my eyes happy. Always listen to your eyes though, so if they tell you that it doesn't feel nice anymore, don't use those contacts/ buy new ones.

Remember that however much you loveeeeeeeee your new contacts, it's also important to wear glasses occasionally (unless..you don't need them and are only wearing contacts for fun?) It gives your eyes a much needed rest. Treat your peepers with respect, and they will shine like anything.

I think this is about it.
Whew! Such a long post, lol.

I hoped this helped some people

Digital Perming

TriggerHappy — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 00:46:54 +0800

First off, I have really straight hair, before the perm it reached the lower half of my back.

So I went for a digital perm yesterday, had the treatment, the whole shebang, with medium-sized rollers. I was really excited since I've wanted to do this since forever, but right now I'm just kinda scared I have hair that won't take to curling.

When I was done three hours later, the curls were okay, but even my aunt commented that my hair wasn't "curly" enough.

Today, after I woke up, the curls look like they are dying on me. (I haven't had washed it yet, since my hair stylist told me not to).

They look like barely-there curls, beach wave-curls. I think.

I even used a product I got from the salon to kind-of hold my curls? It's called BouncyCreme. Not especially to "hold" them like moose or gel, but it doesn't make my hair as hard.

So, now I don't know what to do. This is the first time I've subjected my hair to chemical treatment,
and I don't want the curls to disappear this fast. D:

What should I do?

Consult my stylist again?

Wait till I see what happens after I wash it? (I heard it gets a bit curlier after washing)

Try another product? (Any recommendations?)

iTalk Doesn't have Missed Call-back Feature?

TriggerHappy — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 00:48:25 +0800

Hi all,

I've been using iTalk for about a year now to call my friend in Singapore.

I like it mainly because it has the missed-call-back feature, which means that phone calls use iTalk's credit ONLY and does not charge you additional stuff in your phone bill.

Well, yesterday I bought iTalk prepaid credit worth about RM50 and they told me now that they 'simplified' the system, so we don't need to wait for the missed call-back, but can now call directly using that number only.

I'm confused; does this mean they will still charge your phone's original credit, or not?

I use post-paid so unfortunately, I can't check if it is being charged simultaneously.

Is there anyone else using iTalk currently that can help me confirm this?

And if they ARE charging normal calling rates during my overseas call, would this be a cheaper option compared to just using the iTalk credit and getting less talk time?

Lastly, does anyone have a better way to call there?

Thanks!

Asean Scholarship

TriggerHappy — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 04:32:04 +0800

Hi, I've just completed my SPM last year and I got my results recently, so doing abit of scholarship research now.
Are there any Asean scholarship recipients around?

I would love to know about your personal experience obtaining it (the interviews, pre-emp registration etc etc)
It all sounds quite intimidating to me, because it's supposed to be very very selective
but I want to give it a shot.