Lowyat.NET: Latest topics by Gamerz_Paradise

Malaysia Won at last!

Gamerz_Paradise — Sun, 19 Jan 2014 18:24:55 +0800

Is been four years and now they managed to snatched the first Super Series in Malaysia. Great job.. Kudos and keep it up. Hope it did not just ends here..

Link

Vote for your most dangerous job

Gamerz_Paradise — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 12:21:53 +0800

Job 1

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Job 2

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Job 3

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Job 4

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Job 5

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Job 6

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Job 7

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Would you hire me?

Gamerz_Paradise — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 09:37:17 +0800

Resimay

Too hoom it Mae cunsern,

I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper.

I can Type realee quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting....

I think I am good on the phone and I do no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me well. Certain men and all the ladies.

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I offen get a job thru my persinalety.

My salerery is open so we can discus wat jou want to pay me and what you think that I am werth,

I can start emeditely.

Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.

hopifuly yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,
BRYAN nickname Beefy

PS: Because my resimay is a bit short - below is pickture of me

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Employer Response

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Selling Medicine - Old but always funny

Gamerz_Paradise — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 08:35:55 +0800

[YOUTUBE]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/kLakoQH9Okg&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/kLakoQH9Okg&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/YOUTUBE]

For those who want to have a copy u can download from here

Rapidshare Download
VIPeers Share Download

I see 10 times laughed 11 times

Road Sign

Gamerz_Paradise — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 11:41:12 +0800

MUTHU & .....

Gamerz_Paradise — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 08:16:04 +0800

MUTHU & THE INTERVIEWER*

Interviewer: "What is your birth date?"
Muthu : "13th October."
Interviewer : "Which year?"
Muthu : "Every year."
*****

*MUTHU & HIS MANAGER*

The Manager asked Muthu at an interview.....
"Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?"
Muthu replied: "P-O-S-T-B-O-X."
*****

*MUTHU & LONDON TRIP*
After returning from a foreign trip, Muthu asked his wife, "Do I look like a foreigner?"
Wife: "No! Why?"
Muthu : "In London , a lady asked me, 'Are you a foreigner?'... that's why."
Wife : ?????????
*****

*MUTHU & TOURIST*
A tourist from U.S.A. asked Muthu whether any great man was born in his village...
Muthu said, "No sir, only babies were born here."
*****

*MUTHU & HIS EXPERIMENT*
Muthu was doing an experiment with a cockroach. First he cut off one leg and told it to "WALK! WALK!"
The cockroach walked. Then he cut off it's second leg and told the same. The cockroach walked.
Then he cut off the third leg and did the same.
Finally, he cut off its fourth leg and ordered it walk!
But the cockroach didn't walk.
Suddenly, Muthu said loudly, "I found it. If we cut a cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf."
*****

*MUTHU & DRIVER*
When Muthu was travelling with his wife in a motorised tricycle, the driver adjusted the mirror.
Muthu shouted, "You are trying to see my wife, eh? Sit in the back. I will drive."
*****

*MUTHU GOES TO HOTEL*
Muthu went into a hotel. To wash his hands, he went to the washbasin.
Then when he had finished, he started washing the basin.
Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing.
Muthu pointed towards the signboard

"* WASH BASIN * "
*****

*MUTHU & INTERVIEWER - FINAL PART*
Interviewer : "Just imagine you're in the 20th floor of a building and it's on fire. How will you escape?"
Muthu: "It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination."
*****

MUTHU & The Journalist*

At a political rally, Muthu was arrested. Why????????????
Because a lady journalist with a badge which read "*PRESS*" pinned on the right part of her blouse walked past him... and he did it!

Blonde Jokes

Gamerz_Paradise — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 08:43:05 +0800

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one
blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?'
The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?????'

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the
trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULLOVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and
asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one
was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO.....,' answered the blond. 'They're watch dogs!'

TV with Buttocks and without Buttocks...

Gamerz_Paradise — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 17:39:29 +0800

Dumbest and Clueless Conversation Ever......

Let me share this crazy and ridiculous conversation that i had

*phone rings*

me: good morning Sumsang contact ctr, this is A speaking, how may i assist u?

customer: i have tv model 43... its very big tv... i want to have someone to see my tv

me: can i have ur tv model pls?

cust: u listen to me ok? listen ah... the tv have buttocks one, now days tv no buttock, all flat flat 1

ok? mine is got a bit buttock, not flat flat 1, its 43 something something

me: (quite confuse and clueless) so u have the model or not?

cust: u listen to me again ok?! my tv ah, behind got a bit buttock 1, 2nd time launch in singapore 1... model is 43 then behind i didn't see liao, only 43 lo,

me: ?????????

cust: u know or not 1??!!

me: ( i tot u want me to listen to u ma...) i m still listening sir

cust: aiyo, u still don't know ah??!! (spoke in hokkien thinking i don't understand)

me: the model u gave me is only 43, sumsang don't have model number only 43, it will have abc sir, (if i say alphanumeric he sure don't understand what i m saying)

cust: the model is only 43 ma... the tv got buttock 1, u don't understand me ah...

me: yes i understand u but .... ok can u tell me what happen to the tv?

cust: settings all gone wrong, the colour and channels also go wrong, i want ur technician come and do the setting for me

me: i see... so when did u purchased it?

cust: oh.... i umm... someone give to me 1...

me: (kanasai!! poor bloody customer) so i suppose is out of wrty then?

cust: ya i want to know how much to send technician to my house?

me: i am not sure cos u didn't give the correct model

cust: ok u listen again ah, just like cars, some have buttocks some don't have buttocks

me: (mute customer and scolding F%^@ to him "stupid mother f**ker!!!")

cust: #!@#$%^&@#$

me: (chatting on msn and wondering how this man's brain works...)

cust: u know what is the model now?

me: no sir, i still don't know the model until u see at the back of the tv then only u can know what is the tv model u have...

cust: the tv have menu and volume button at the right.... top side got sumsang word de...

me: (omg... i wan to slap him now!!!!!!) sir, all tv have the same description u mention... and i can listen to u for 1 hour and still need to know the model sir

cust: aiyo, y so simple also cannot understand meh... how to give the model now, i m driving ma...

me: (wat the f**k!!!) can u call us again after u have the model?

cust: aiyo... ok la... i go back and see the model la

me: thank you for calling sumsang u have a (f**king) nice day (*******) ...

*For privacy purpose, the name of company is *adjusted*
* Copied from someones blog. Blog address is not shown to protect the user.

5Bs, 5Cs and 5Ks‏

Gamerz_Paradise — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 17:14:39 +0800

Just for laugh ...
Well, here is something to link the 5C's to the newer 5B's!

I don't need a CAR, but I want a BMW
I don't need a CONDO , but I want a BUNGALOW
I don't need you to have CASH but I want you to own a BANK
I don't need you to have a CAREER but I want you to be a BOSS

It's interesting for you to read!

Most of you would have heard of the Singapore 5C's ! :
Car, Condo, Credit Card (Gold), Cash and Career

Heard of the 5B's ?
B - BMW
B - Body
B - Brain
B - Billionaire
B - Bungalow

And addition with the 5K's.

Kiasu (scared of losing)
Kiasee (scared of dying)
Kiabor (scared of wife)
Kiaboh (scared of having nothing)
Kiachenghu (scared of government)

We've been reading about the 5C's and 5K's for Singaporeans, now comes the 5 numerals and Malaysia's equivalent.

Singaporeans' 'practice' for Simple Living:
1 - One Wife
2 - Two Children
3 - Three Bedroom Condo
4 - Four Wheels
5 - Five Figure Salary
________________________________________________

Malaysian 'practice' for Simple Living:
5 - Five Children
4 - Four Wives
3 - Three Figure Salary
2 - Two Wheels
1 - One-Storey Link House

5 CASES WHEN IT IS OK TO USE THE 'F' WORD

Gamerz_Paradise — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 08:24:06 +0800

Case 1

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Case 2

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Case 3

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Case 4

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Case 5

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LEGO Style..

Gamerz_Paradise — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 20:04:23 +0800

Olympic Failure

Gamerz_Paradise — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 20:00:03 +0800

[News] 1 Gbps in Japan..

Gamerz_Paradise — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 08:38:14 +0800

TOKYO —

KDDI Corp will launch a fiber-optic communications service with upload and download speeds each of up to one gigabit per second on Oct 1. The new service will target people living in single-family homes and low-rise apartment buildings. The traffic speeds will be the fastest in eastern Japan, up drastically from the current 100 megabits per second.

With the service, KDDI aims to catch up with Nippon Telegraph & Telephone Corp, which has a share of over 70% in the market for fiber-optic broadband services for single-family houses.

KDDI will charge 5,985 yen in basic monthly fees for Internet and telephone services, down 1,155 yen from the current price, if a user subscribes for two consecutive years.

KDDI will start offering its fiber-optic services, which are now available only in six prefectures in the Kanto region and nearby Yamanashi Prefecture, in four cities in the northern prefecture of Hokkaido.

Source

Why Singaporean Girls can't win Miss Universe.

Gamerz_Paradise — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 11:02:12 +0800

Why Singaporean Girls can't win Miss Universe title?

One of the main reasons why in recent years the Singapore Government
has always ensured that their Miss Universe representative were
of tertiary level education or higher was because of the following
incident which occurred not too many years ago.

It is the final round of the Miss Universe Pageant and the 3
finalists, Miss USA , Miss Malaysia and Miss Singapore are being asked
3 simple questions:

MC: The first question is name me an electrical appliance starting
with 'L'
Miss USA : Lamp
Miss Malaysia : Light bulb
Miss Singapore : LADIO
Judge: No, no, Radio does not start with the letter 'L'

MC: I am going to give you 3 more chances; Now, name me an animalstarting
with the letter 'L'
Miss USA : Lion
Miss Malaysia : Leopard
Miss Singapore : LABBIT
Judge: No, no, no!

MC: Your next chance. The name of a famous car that starts with 'L'
Miss USA : Lexus
Miss Malaysia : Lamborghini
Miss Singapore : Lolls- Loyce
Judge: Oh my God!

MC: I am going to give you one last chance! Name me a fruit starting with
the letter 'L'
Miss USA : Lemon
Miss Malaysia : Lychee
Miss Singapore , with full of confidence, smiles and says: LIEWLIAN!!
(durian)

This is not the end of the story, the Judge consulted the board of
judges to determine if Miss Singapore should really be disqualified;
and they decided that since Miss Singapore was having so many problems
With the letter 'L', they decided to give her another chance.

Judge: OK, the final question is : Name me a human anatomy starting
with the
letter 'L'
Miss USA : Lung (applause)
Miss Malaysia : Liver (even more applause)
Miss Singapore : L*N CI*U!!

The Judges fainted..!!!

New word in Oxford Dictionary

Gamerz_Paradise — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 08:17:07 +0800

There are possible plans underway to apply to the Oxford and Webster to include a new word for their 2009 dictionary:

badawi [baa-daa-wee] (noun): To start something full of promise but end in disappointment, failure and/or disaster.

Eg:

'I'm trusting you to perform this task well; don't do a badawi, ok?'

'Whatever I do, I will always find a way to badawise it.'

France badawied their Euro 2008 campaign. England pre-badawied theirs, while Italy were guilty of over-badawification.

Cancel your credit card before you die

Gamerz_Paradise — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 21:50:24 +0800

It's all about money for CitiBank Credit Cards when you die...... This is too funny! It takes all kinds to make the world go round. Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is easy to see happening, customer service being what it is....

My Aunt died this past January. Citibank billed her for February and March for their monthly service charge on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge... the balance had been $0.00...Now it was somewhere around $60.00. I placed the following phone call to CitiBank:

Me: 'I am calling to tell you that she died in January.'

CitiBank: 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Me: 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections'

CitiBank: 'Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been.'

Me: 'So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'

CitiBank: 'Either report her account to the frauds division, or report her to the credit bureau maybe both!'

Me: 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

CitiBank:'...excuse me...?'

Me: 'Did you just get what I was telling you... the part about her being dead?'

CitiBank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor!'
(Supervisor gets on the phone)

Me: 'I'm calling to tell you, she died in January.'

CitiBank: 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Me: 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

CitiBank: '.....(stammer)' '.... Are you her lawyer?'

Me: 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info given... )

CitiBank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'

Me: 'Sure.'

(Fax number is given)

(After they get the fax.)

CitiBank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death'

Me: 'Oh...'

CitiBank: 'I don't know what more I can do to help..'

Me: 'Well...if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her...I suppose... Don't really think she will care....'

CitiBank: 'Well...the late fees and charges do still apply.'

Me: 'Would you like her new billing address?'
CitiBank: 'That might help.'

Me: 'Nilai Memorial Park Cemetery ( North South Highway and plot number given.)

CitiBank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery!'

Me: 'What do you do with dead people on your planet?'

India Call Center

Gamerz_Paradise — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 10:47:39 +0800

[YOUTUBE]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/zRjMGhzU1wE&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/zRjMGhzU1wE&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/YOUTUBE]

Freaking JackA**

Men always have better friends then woman....

Gamerz_Paradise — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 11:23:44 +0800

Men always have better friends....They will stand by you, no matter what....!!!
Here's an example:-

Friends of Women:

A wife was not at home for a whole night. So she tells
her husband the very next morning, that she stayed at her (girl) friend's
apartment overnight.

So the husband calls 10 of her best (girl) friends and
none of them confirmed that she was with them.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Friends of Men:

A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he
tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his (guy) friend's
apartment over night.

So the wife calls 10 of his best friends and 5 of them
confirmed that he stayed at their apartments that night and another 5 claimed
that he is still with them!!

Watch!

Gamerz_Paradise — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 08:19:49 +0800

While in the playground with his friend, Little Johnny noticed that Jimmy
was wearing a brand new, shiny watch.

'Did you get that for your birthday?' asked Little Johnny.

'Nope.' replied Jimmy.

'Well, did you get it for Christmas then?'.

Again Jimmy says 'Nope.'

'You didn't steal it, did you?' asks Little Johnny.

'No,' said Jimmy. 'I went into Mom and Dad's bedroom the other night when
they were 'doing the nasty'. Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me.

Little Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely jealous
of Jimmy's new watch. He vowed to get one for himself.

That night, he waited outside his parents' bedroom until he heard the
unmistakable noises of lovemaking.
Just then, he swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the bedroom.

His father, caught in mid stroke, turned and said angrily. 'What do you want now?'

'I wanna watch,' Johnny replied.

Without missing a stroke, his father said, 'Fine. Stand in the corner and
watch, but keep quiet.'

Monkeys and Hats

Gamerz_Paradise — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 08:12:40 +0800

A Bihari hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to
take a nap under
one of the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by
the side. A few
hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were
gone.

He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of
monkeys and they had
taken all his hats.

The Bihari sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats
down. While
thinking he started to scratch his head.

The next moment, the monkeys were doing the same. Next, he
took down his own
hat, the monkeys did exactly the same.

An idea came to him, he took his hat and threw it on the
floor and the
monkeys did that too. So he finally managed to get all his
hats back.

Fifty years later, his grandson, Laloo, also became a
hat-seller and had
heard this monkey story from his grandfather.

One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same
forest. It was
very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left
the hats on the
floor.

He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the
monkeys on the
tree. He remembered his grand father's words, started
scratching his head
and the monkeys followed.

He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the
monkeys followed. Now,
very convinced of his grandfather's idea, Laloo threw his
hat on the floor
but to his surprise, the monkeys still held on to all the
hats

Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on
the floor, gave
him a slap and said

Guess What????????

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