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Is this the right way to deal with it?

Technological Singularity — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 12:14:48 +0800

Dear CC
A while ago I've been rejected by a girl, whom presently still remains an friend. Right now I'm nursing a heartbreak, so one day after a round of booze, I felt a little tipsy and bought a ticket to Paris (I'll be there for about 1 month). The girl loves to travel and she always wanted to go to Europe, and a part of me is doing this out of vengeance, trying to send a message saying, "We've could've went together. But since you said no, here's me saying f*ck you, indirectly."

Do you think I'm being nasty?
Do you think she'll feel insulted? (if you were in her shoes, what would you feel?)

EDIT : Added responses since I think I'm immediately type-casted thanks to my OP which lacks info

Post#11
Erm, let me correct something here, I wanted to go Paris myself too (always dreamed of people-watching in a cafe in Europe), so the premise of it being based on revenge entirely, isn't true. I had the yearnings to go to Paris and the rest of Europe for quite a while, so being slightly drunk just made the calculation of financial-what-ifs less rigorous.

Honestly when buying the ticket, the only thought running through my mind was, "if I keep asking, postponing, questioning and thinking about money the ultimate outcome is that I'll never ever go."

So this whole premise/idea of revenge only came up after buying the ticket, that I realized one fine day that I might have a potential way to just get back at her. Of course, now that you all said it, guess I'm hugely wrong there

So yes, enjoying myself and seeing the world is the PRIMARY purpose of going on this trip, so thanks for the comments guys..

Post#16
Erm, I think I replied a general statement above, anyway.. Yeah I'm pretty sure she's enjoying her single life But as much as I convince myself to move on, there's a pathetic part in me that wants her to feel miserable, so I was just letting that part of me out.

Irregardless, I guess I should learn that once they don't like you, there's little you can do to hurt them, eh?

Post#23
The point is to have fun, have a good time, see lots of pretty places and people, and come back knowing that the world is a very beautiful place and I should have my sights on better things in life.

Second round of doubts

Technological Singularity — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 11:33:59 +0800

Hello CC again,
This time I come to you with another dilemma of mine.

Over the past 1 month I'm on a project-based assignment, and it's a fairly large team, with diverse backgrounds etc. Here I met this really funny, responsible, brilliant and capable lady (AND SINGLE). As our positions are equal and the structure of responsibilities put both of us as peers, not competitors, it felt as if our friendship was magnetically drawn together, and now thoughts of being together crept into my mind.

Here are the points for your consideration :

a) I like her. (quite alot, actually)
b) She's 1 year older

What I'm worried about.

I believe from what I know from her, we have different expectations of when marriage will happen. She's expecting to get married approximately 26-27, and myself 30-31. That's a huge gap, given that she's already 1 year older than me, and I don't want to enter into a relationship knowing one day this will drive a wedge between us.

BUT, despite that, I still really wanna date and love this woman. Somehow she drives me nuts, and even in my sleep I think of her. I don't know it's lust of whatnot, but I really, really, really, really want her. So at times I'm considering entering into this relationship, not to get married (see point above), but just for the few years of romance and companionship. Yet doing so, I fear I'm being unfair to her, because I'd denying her to opportunity for someone who'd actually settle down with her.

Dear CC, what do you advise?

Girl coming across as too aggressive

Technological Singularity — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 16:07:27 +0800

Dear Cupids Corner,

I come to you with a situation, seeking an ear to listen (more appropriately, an eye to read), and perhaps, the wisdom to advise.

I work in a job which entails me to mix with people around my age, mostly in the early 20s, and intake into the job are by batches, 3-4 times a year. It was at one of these batch gatherings I met a girl. I was lonely, being in a new environment not knowing who to trust, and so I seek'd her out, as a confidante. Young and never dated, I was also eager to love, and wanted to shower my doting affections on people around me, and so I grew close as we hanged out together more often than I could quite count the times.

And so time passed, and at that time the bonds grew stronger. For a moment in my heart I thought, hey, this woman would make a great wife. Alas, such great thoughts of her did not last, and then came the rumors. Even in my batch the rumour engine started to make itself stories surrounding us. At this point, I had not confessed to her, nor have the intention to, for inside me I was doubtful. Had the rumours not start and our relationship allowed to slowly run it's course, perhaps there would indeed be a happy ending. But nay, the rumours sowed doubt, and perhaps it driven her to be more aggressive, and to me she began to seem.. forceful.. and unnecessarily affectionate.

Perhaps in her mind it's fair for her to call me since we've been out of touch for weeks. I do not blame her. Yet despite the rarity of her calls, I did not look forward to talk to her. In my mind I felt as if my hands were forced, and that provoked a little bit of disgust every time she called. Her abrupt and seemingly random messages out of the blue that went 'I suddenly thought of you' made me feel sick deep within my stomach.

Right now, I don't know how to face her. I don't want to see her, but inevitably with our mutual friends and same work environment and company, we will eventually have to see each other, and when that time comes, I do not want to be cruel. But I know I'd be very hard for me to be normal around her, because I am no longer comfortable around her.

Dear CC, what do you advise?