Low self-esteem...

Daughter of Satan — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 12:45:44 +0800

......

So guys, how do I help myself? Should I go into therapy? Please help. Thanks so much.

All comments, advice and motivation words are truly appreciated.

(Edited)

Beauty or the Geek?

Daughter of Satan — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 23:31:27 +0800

Hello guys,

As above. Please discuss! LOL. I hope this isn't a sucky topic.

Hmmm... to the guys outhere, will you guys choose the beauty pageant type of girl or the smart - average looking type of girl?

And to the girls outhere, what do you think about Beauty Pageant girls? Do you think all pretty gals should join beauty pageant?

Whaddya want from me?

Daughter of Satan — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 14:15:53 +0800

Hey all!

I don't want to post this up but it keeps ringing and messing up w. my entire brain system. I'm about to go crazy right now. I've been up and down, I feel like suicidal and about to crack into pieces. But I'm not that stupid childish immature girl who gives away her life over someone. Over stupid petty issue.

But guys, this is serious. I just want to discuss and understand this situation of mine. Need some advice too. No spams and no dead advice and suggestions please. I just need someone to listen and talk. Since I don't have those kind of people right now. At least, by creating this thread, it will partially ease my mind.

So here goes my story :-

My story love all started like this. I've met this one guy, yeah. Tall, handsome and all. All of the above mentioned. Mr. Nice guy and just the perfect guy that every little girl wants to date with. I thought he was the one. Indeed, I did and pictured him walking down the aisle together with me. What a perfect life and beautiful it is if we are meant to be together. But unfortunately, those dreams I had about him was just a fantasy make believe. We have been together for almost 4 years. I loved him so much and he loved me too. Till one day, I don't really know what made him changed his mind. On July 2009, he asked for a break up. I don't know why. I know that we are cousins. And I know it's forbidden to date your own cousin.. Well it's not my fault. I know him as my cousin after we've dated for 2 years. It's not easy to let go. And to be exact, he is my Third cousin.

"I want us to break up because we're not meant to be together..."

He used this as an excuse, I know... Maybe he wants a girlfriend who is prettier than me... I thought I am the one for him and he is the one for me... You know, we are not in the same school before but he won the Prom King title and I was the Prom Queen for my insititute. Wow! Yeah! Yet another fairytale story make believe! Ended with a disaster. Close the curtain and applause! And pause! It's a nightmare. It's just too sad to hear that it ended via sms.

SO about the break up, to be honest, I couldn't accept it, I just could not accept everything at that very moment, because I was really in bad condition. My health, my grandmother and my hard job. Its just too much, so I let him go and left just like that. I just want him to be happy. I did stalked him with my msges and phone calls after that, trying to win him back. But failed to do so, failed to win him back. He remained silent, like a stone, he just left me bleed and cried all night. Those tiring and hopeless nights I had undergone. Grandma was badly sick and wished him to see her before she left the world. I did tell him about my grandma's wish, but he remained silent still. I lose my hope after that, and focused much more time on my grandma. I love her more than anyone, more than him. It's just too much, and watching her go, hurts me to death. Regret is no longer a temporary word, but a permanent word that links inside of brain and heart.

As time passes by, and we're no longer as an item...

I've met this one guy. At first, I thought "Okay, we're totally different. I just can't date this guy. He's way better than me, we're like north magnets"... But after knowing this guy, I've changed my mind and let him enter my life. We're in a long distance relationship. He is there and I am here. So we've been together for more than 5months now.. Well, I knew him for 3 years actually. Yeah, been friends for 3 years and couple for months. Everything's great till one day... I was abit emo over something. I just don't know why each month, I have this friggin problem with someone / somebody. What type of problem?

Well, lets just put it simple. Some guys just can't accept rejection and they're trying to destroy my feelings.
[I don't want to talk further about this]

So anyway, he said he wants a break up and wanted to leave me because he just can't take it and just can't hurt me anymore, seeing me unhappy always because of our long distance relationship, and feel like we're not compatible. I just can't seem to understand why. He was the one who wants everything, the goodness of this relationship to be forever... and all those promises... I know it's my fault for being sad during his difficult times. And I do understand how hard his job is... but that time, I just need him. I need him to listen, no need to do anything, but at least listen... but I gave him the wrong impression or maybe the wrong vibe.

The weather gone wrong indeed that time. Things went cold. We didn't talk for almost 1 week. I've bought tickets just to see him. Actually bought it early. Just to surprise him. Wanna make him happy of my presence and everything... At first, he said he doesn't want me to go, he pleaded not to, because he said he will be sad if he sees me...

But I begged him not to... and asked him to treat me as one of his friends. Let me go.

So here I am now... We're together, but still, the decision he made doesn't change. He's just scared about the break-up and back together again theory. Yes, we sleep together, eat together. He kisses me, and hugs me... I feel his love... but his words, no. I did asked him about our problem, we ended up crying after that. Yes, he did cried too.

So guys, tell me, what's wrong with this dude? I am old enough to decide but yet too indecisive . I want to leave but (I do love him so much).... What is he thinking? I know he's not that type of guy who wants sugars from girls. Please discuss.

And f.y.i, my 4years ex, still stalking me. What type of guy is that? Spit me out and wants me back? What a nerve...! Be him with his regrets then.

P/s: Sorry for the terrible english LOL! and so sorry for the long post! Hope its a good story!

Good day

Lowyat.NET: Latest topics by Daughter of Satan

Low self-esteem...

Beauty or the Geek?

Whaddya want from me?