http://forum.lowyat.net/ Fri, 10 Jul 2026 01:43:30 +0800 FeedCreator 1.7.2 http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1432755 i use hotlink prepaid.<br /><br />after registering as private number, I want call <a href='http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1432183/+20' target='_blank'>http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1432183/+20</a><br /><br />if she knows my number, I scare she kacau me back.<br /><br />before that, how to register as private number? meaning that the receiver wount know my number when I calling he/she ZakaRiaRia Serious Kopitiam Sun, 23 May 2010 12:19:13 +0800 http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1432241 <!--SPOILER BEGIN--><div class="spoilertop" onClick="openClose('bd0b15ea66b6c7309e5338caa01a713c')" style="font-weight: bold"><u>&raquo; Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... &laquo;</u></div><div class="spoilermain" id="bd0b15ea66b6c7309e5338caa01a713c" style="display:none"><!--SPOILER END-->Religious traditions help us to find our basic orientations in many aspects of our lives. The most important aspect of our lives is how we interact with others. Among other things, this means religions often have a lot to say about sexual ethics. What sexual ethics does Buddhism promote? In this area our tradition speaks more quietly than others, which can leave newcomers wondering if it addresses the subject at all. In fact it speaks quite firmly. In opening up the subject I&#39;ll highlight those questions that bear on the issues raised by various liberation movements - by the women&#39;s movement, by gays and lesbians, and by the smaller sexual minorities. I don&#39;t think I could be too wide off the mark in saying that all these movements whatever else they are about, are engaging with various forms of prejudice, and with violence and violations based on those prejudices.<br /><br />Prejudices against women and against sexual minorities are usually reinforced by certain standard features of social psychology, such as intolerance of difference and the often deep-seated insecurities of those who regard themselves as &#39;normal&#39; but aren&#39;t quite sure. An important ingredient in this nasty little cocktail, however, is various forms of prejudice, inhibition and repression associated with theistic religious fundamentalism.<br /><br />Like all religions, Buddhism takes a strong ethical stand in human affairs and sexual behaviour in particular. The most common formulation of Buddhist ethics are the five precents:<br /><br />I undertake the training precept of:<br /><br />1. Refraining from harming living beings/practising loving kindness<br />2. Refraining from taking the non-given/practising generosity<br />3. Refraining from committing sexual misconduct/practising contentment<br />4. Refraining from false speech/practising truthful communication<br />5. Refraining from intoxicants/practising mindfulness.<br /><br />These precepts take the form of voluntary, personal undertakings. They are not commandments; there is no god in Buddhism, so none to issue any.<br /><br />The precepts express basic principles rather than fixed, legalistic rules that any one action falls inside or outside of. Like any non-fundamentalist ethical system, Buddhism provides us with general guiding principles while in no way relieving us of the obligation to make appropriate moral judgements in each morally significant situation we come across. Moral judgement is never a question of blindly applying a rule.<br /><br />The five precepts constitute an integrated set - each precept supports the others. To know what &#39;sexual misconduct&#39; means you look at the other precepts. &#39;Sexual misconduct&#39;, in the spirit of the precepts as a job lot, means any sexual conduct involving violence, manipulation or deceit - conduct that therefore leads to suffering and trouble. By contrast good sexual conduct is based on loving kindness, generosity, honesty, and mental and emotional clarity - conduct that has good results.<br /><br />The third precept about sexual misconduct is strictly superfluous - if in our sexual lives we act non-violently, do not take what is not freely given, do not deceive and do not act out of delusive and irresponsible mindstates, we cannot fall foul of the third precept anyway. Buddhism&#39;s very tough sexual ethic would be complete without the third precept. It&#39;s really there for the sake of emphasis. Sexuality is a very strong energy, the focus of many cravings, vanities and delusions. It calls for its very own precept&#33; If we have a propensity to make fools of ourselves, to act stupidly and destructively - and we all do have this propensity - then we are likely to manifest it in our sex lives. On the other hand, each of us also has the opposite propensity to act out of friendliness, generosity and wisdom. With moral and meditative training our sex lives can powerfully express this propensity too. Hence the third precept expresses a tough and challenging sexual ethic. Not least for anyone who has grown up male and straight in a society like this one, with all its training in objectifying and predatory attitudes towards women, and deep fears of so-called deviance&#33;<br /><br />Lets look at the spirit of the precepts as a whole before returning to sexuality. Freedom is the ultimate promise of Buddhist practice - of the moral training as well as the other two great trainings, in mediation and wisdom. Freedom means letting go of the obsessions, compulsions and inhibitions of our psychological conditioning, and so freeing ourselves to respond appropriately in any and every situation. Often freedom takes the form of restraint, the ability to say no to an habitual or received compulsion, craving, fashion or dependency. Sometimes freedom takes the form of saying yes, a yes that overrides habitual or received fears, prejudices and inhibitions.<br />We can either treat other people and other elements of our environment as objects of our calculation, exploitation and consumption, or we can see other people as we see ourselves. All great religions more or less embody the latter ethic (like the Christian &#39;golden rule&#39;: &quot;do unto others as you would have them do unto you&quot;). Buddhism does so in pure form. The precepts are a training in loving oneself and others, expressed in the intention to act skilfully so as to set us all free. Free from what and to do what? In traditional Buddhist terms, free from bondage, suffering, harm and danger, and free to take responsibility for our own wellbeing, and to contribute to that of others.<br />So back to the third precept. In ancient India the precept in its negative form was conventionally read as an injunction against abduction, rape and adultery. It has always carried the additional implication that we honour our sexual undertakings. If we have taken a vow of celibacy we should abstain from sex so long as the vow is on foot. If we have contracted into a monogamous relationship, we only have sex within that relationship. Anything else would be deceitful.<br /><br />But the precept&#39;s ambit, especially today, is obviously much wider and covers violating behaviours that the women&#39;s movement among others has rightly politicised. An important example is sexual harassment, so prevalent these days when women and men share public space - workplaces, universities etc. Where power relations are prevalent, the power relations themselves have a gender component, and opportunities and cultural encouragement for abuse are ubiquitous. Among other things, sexual harassment is harming and involves taking the non-given, based on a deep-seated presumption - and delusion - in male conditioning about the constant sexual availability of women.<br /><br />Rape in marriage is strikingly similar. Also violent and misogynist pornography which creates a hostile and unsafe environment for women and induces moronic and demonic mindstates in men, including delusions about the nature of women and what they want. So both sexes suffer harm. Publication or use of pornography which eroticises women&#39;s subordination thus plainly contravenes the third precept. But by no mean all pornography does so, and other sexually explicit material might be equally innocent.<br /><br />Ethnic Religion and Social Engineering<br /><br />So far in this account I don&#39;t think Buddhism in practice comes to startlingly different conclusions about sexual conduct from those of balanced versions of other major religions. But the other religions also have lists of no-no&#39;s, of forbidden sexual practices. Some object to partial or total nudity, or masturbation, or cross-dressing, or sado-masochism, or homosexuality, or fetishism, or premarital sex, or oral, anal or group sex, or contracepted sex. Buddhism is notorious for its habit of putting points of practice and doctrine into lists. So where is Buddhism&#39;s list of naughty sexual practices?<br /><br />The answer is short and sweet. Buddhism doesn&#39;t (for once&#33;) have a list. The reason it doesn&#39;t have a list is significant. There are two &#39;pure types&#39; of religion - ethnic ones and universal ones. Ethnic religion seeks to regulate many civic aspects of a particular tribe or people, and especially to regulate the biological and cultural reproduction of the tribe. It thus stipulates all sorts of rules to do with marriage, family, sex roles, bringing up children, etc. Judaism could well stand as a sophisticated example of an ethnic religion.<br />A universal religion, by contrast, is indifferent to ethnic civic life, transcends cultural particularism, and stands aloof from issues to do with the reproduction of the tribe. One is born into an ethnic religion, but the only real way into a universal religion like Buddhism is by personal conversion. You can convert to a universal religion from any ethnic starting point whatsoever.<br /><br />Any ethnic religion contains what we might call - in our secular modern mode - a social engineering element. Social engineers, both the religious and the secular ones, make it their business to regulate relations between the sexes so that plenty of babies are born to reproduce and even expand the tribe, and to see that the children are looked after and properly inducted into the folkways and traditional (gender and other) roles of the tribe. Social engineers want to manipulate people so that their sexual energies are channelled into babymaking, and not frittered away on non-procreative sexual activity (what today&#39;s media calls &#39;recreational sex&#39;). A social engineering God or state tends to promulgate laws that criminalise, stigmatise and pathologise non-procreative sex.<br /><br />Christianity, for instance, is a universal religion in the new testament, but has attached to it many of social engineering elements of an ethnic religion contained in the old testament, which abominates (I gather) such non-procreative activities as adultery, masturbation, sodomy and so on. So Christianity offers a split perspective. Some old testamentarians make careers as the scourges of all non-baby-making sex, its pleasures and its practitioners. At the same time other Christian leaders openly live in lesbian or gay relationships and courageously fly the flag of tolerance. Buddhism is a pure case of universal religion, with no social engineering element. So much so that it does not even have a marriage service. Marriage is a civil matter in Buddhist countries, it has nothing to do with spiritual practice as such. Nor does the Buddhist canon contain a &#39;holy family&#39; with prescribed sex roles that subordinate women.<br /><br />If you want to get married in a Buddhist country, the civil authorities provide the appropriate official celebration. Afterwards the bridal couple can go, as many do, to a monastic and ask for her or his blessing, which usually consists in a relaxed word of advice about how to make the match actually work. Ajahn Chah, the great Buddhist meditation master of modern Thailand, had a stream of newly-weds come to his monastery for this purpose. He would tell them: &#39;You have given your hand in marriage. Your hand has five fingers. Think of them as the five precepts. Practice the precepts in your marriage, and it will be a happy one. That is all you need.&#39;<br /><br />The Buddha was in fact a social engineer&#39;s worst nightmare. Not only did he not waste a word of condemnation on non-procreative sex (hence no list of no-no&#39;s), but he inspired thousands to ordain into celibate monasticism and so leave babymaking behind altogether. This was not because he disapproved of sex or babies, but in an era when a non-celibate usually ended up with many children to feed, clothe and house and so had little freedom or time for spiritual pursuits, celibacy made a lot of practical sense for many people with a spiritual urge. Needless to say, the choice is not nearly as stark in developed countries today, where contraception is available and earning a living is a good deal easier.<br /><br />Buddhism and Tolerance<br /><br />Buddhism has nothing against sex as such. Practised skilfully in the spirit of the precepts, it can bring a lot of happiness. As one of my favourite meditation teachers sums it up, there&#39;s nothing wrong with dancing lightly with your desires, so long as both can hear the music and all hearts are open. Indeed, I think Buddhism probably improves our sex life in meditation training, where we learn the core skill of mindfulness - of keeping our heart, mind and body in the same place at the same time. So when your body is having a wonderful time with a cuddly friend, your mind is not having a miserable time obsessing about the details of your tax return, for instance - it is free to come to the party too.<br /><br />Over the years I have gained some familiarity with a number of English-speaking Dhamma centres in western countries, and I&#39;m struck by the unproblematic presence of gays and lesbians in them. In keeping with tradition their sexuality is not an issue and this aspect of their identity is affirmed as straightforwardly as anyone else&#39;s. Everyone&#39;s structure of sexual desire is unique, and when we leave social engineering considerations behind, there is no warrant for setting one structure of desire above the rest, so long as all can be lived out within the spirit of the precepts.<br /><br />The appropriate Buddhist attitude to other sexual minorities is just the same. I tested this by visiting the website of Salon Kitty, a very fastidious local establishment which describes itself as &#39;one of the world&#39;s leading BDSM houses.&#39; BDSM stands for bondage, discipline and sado-masochism. On Salon Kitty&#39;s main menu is a statement of ethics, which the duty of care and overall responsibility &#39; the dominant&#39; owes &#39;the submissive,&#39; not least around the obviously crucial issue of consent. In part the statement of ethics says: Implied in consent is the responsibility of the dominant partner in any BDSM scene to monitor the wellbeing of the submissive to ensure that the submissive is stable and that the consent is still operative.<br /><br />It is also the responsibility of the dominant to ensure that the submissive is not consenting to an act that is not in his or her best longterm interests.Neither party should indulge in heavy drinking or drug taking as this can impair judgement…<br />A description follows of the mechanism for instantly withdrawing consent - the uttering of a pre-agreed &#39;safe word&#39; - which immediately brings the procedure in question to an end.<br /><br />Then the statement of ethics resumes: In order to enjoy the possibilities that the world of BDSM offers, one must first discover respect and trust both of oneself and of others. Elements of all five precepts are there, including the last. On the basis of this statement we can conclude that Salon Kitty comes closer to Dhamma than fundamentalist, social engineering killjoys of various religious persuasions&#33;<br /><br />Conclusion<br /><br />Buddhism does have a strong sexual ethic, but not a repressive one. The main point of this ethic is non-harming in an area of life where we can do a lot of damage by acting violently, manipulatively or deceitfully. These and breaches of the other precepts - ill will, taking the non-given, lying and stupefaction - are the Buddhist no-no&#39;s in sexual practice. Because of its universalistic character, Buddhism as such certainly does not buy into prejudices and inhibitions associated with social engineering, the reproduction of the tribe.<br /><br />Of course, one can meet Buddhists from traditional backgrounds that do have a problem with non-procreative sex like homosexuality, just as we run into ones that are still challenged by gender equality. But this sort of inhibition or prejudice comes from a particular ethnic culture or national tradition only. You can confidently tell anyone who expresses these sorts of attitudes that they have nothing to do with Dhamma as such.<br /><br />At the same time each of us has to exercise a personal judgement about how much energy and time we should give over to sex, however skilful our sexual practice. Where does it rank in the inevitably tight order of priorities we have to apply in our busy lives when most of us are struggling to find time to sit daily, get to a regular weekly group sit and to go on retreat? Part of the answer will depend on the moral significance of our commitment to our so-called sexual partner(s). Many people strive to make these commitments and relationships central focuses of moral meaning in their lives, as Ajahn Chah suggests we should. This seems to be the best way to lead an integrated life as a spiritual practitioner and a sexual being.<!--SPOILER DIV--></div><!--SPOILER DIV--><br /><br />an ustaz asks me to find this thing but he can&#39;t read english ZakaRiaRia Serious Kopitiam Sat, 22 May 2010 20:45:01 +0800 http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1432229 just now, I use third gear nia aready 14okm/h...smoke the viva and kanci that use 5th gear <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://static.lowyat.net/style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo--> ZakaRiaRia Serious Kopitiam Sat, 22 May 2010 20:22:57 +0800 http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1431951 if i subscribe two 4m streamyx ..can i get 8m speed in 1 pc ? ZakaRiaRia Serious Kopitiam Sat, 22 May 2010 15:18:32 +0800 http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1430512 haha <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://static.lowyat.net/style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo--> ZakaRiaRia Serious Kopitiam Fri, 21 May 2010 03:32:56 +0800 http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1430329 I learnt lesson 1, drive a pancit car wihout losing control .. <!--emo&:thumbs:--><img src='http://static.lowyat.net/style_emoticons/default/thumbup.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='thumbup.gif' /><!--endemo--> ZakaRiaRia Serious Kopitiam Thu, 20 May 2010 23:01:39 +0800 http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1429194 Hi, <br /><br />I&#39;m pieces, want to know what horoscope of girl is good for me as partner.<br /><br />and my chinese zodiac is goat ..<br /><br />regards ZakaRiaRia Serious Kopitiam Wed, 19 May 2010 23:38:03 +0800 http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1427939 those lalat damn like to fly around shit ...<br /><br />why?<br /><br />please tell me ways to halau it ZakaRiaRia Serious Kopitiam Tue, 18 May 2010 23:35:09 +0800 http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1427926 cannot sleep, I slept 20 hrs just now..<br /><br />any ways to sleep ? ZakaRiaRia Serious Kopitiam Tue, 18 May 2010 23:19:08 +0800 http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1427583 for eg, lcw, and lcw gf..nicole david(though she is indian but her mom still a hokkien)..for mainland, got lindan, <br /><br />for canto, i dunno any good canto athletes <br /><br />ur turn . <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://static.lowyat.net/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /><!--endemo--> ZakaRiaRia Serious Kopitiam Tue, 18 May 2010 17:32:52 +0800 http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1423500 this moderator cannot differential what i meant is fact, thought I was posting troll ..<br /><br /><!--SPOILER BEGIN--><div class="spoilertop" onClick="openClose('c4feda5b1e03cd15a9dfdd5659c6a4d2')" style="font-weight: bold"><u>&raquo; Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... &laquo;</u></div><div class="spoilermain" id="c4feda5b1e03cd15a9dfdd5659c6a4d2" style="display:none"><!--SPOILER END--><br /><br />Troll post<!--QuoteBegin--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteEBegin--><br />like I said for lcw n lindan ..<br /><br />when china chinese vs msia chinese, china ones would win, bcoz msia chinese &#39;fong sui&#39;<br /><br />the reason is, if china chinese won, every chinese will happy, msia chinese included..if msia chinese won, china chinese wont happy..<br /><br />so we let them win, harmony outcome biggrin.gif<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd--><!--SPOILER DIV--></div><!--SPOILER DIV--><br /><br />I dont want to name the &#39;perasan&#39; moderator, but do u think is it appropriate he warned me for that ?<br />explanations needed ZakaRiaRia Serious Kopitiam Fri, 14 May 2010 22:24:26 +0800 http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1422311 I like jik pa ban .. limpek kan nina bu ...jik pui jiu ..lalala..<br /><br />list ur favorite hokkien song .. ZakaRiaRia Serious Kopitiam Thu, 13 May 2010 21:00:32 +0800 http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1421296 ubat is pill, i learnt in sch..<br /><br />but ubat gigi is tooth paste or tooth pill?, ubat mech pensil is??, ubat stepper??, ubat v1agra ..<br /><br />ubat is reloading stuff or pill?<br /> ZakaRiaRia Serious Kopitiam Wed, 12 May 2010 22:29:09 +0800 http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1421215 anyone can find me MAY 13 car plate is belong to who?<br /><br /> ZakaRiaRia Serious Kopitiam Wed, 12 May 2010 21:03:04 +0800 http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1421166 if u were earning rm 20k, per month ... makan gaji ...<br /><br />then suddenly, u lose the job, and get lousy job... salary become rm 5k ...but u got rm 10k installments per month for cars and house loaning ..<br /><br />what you gonna do? <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://static.lowyat.net/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /><!--endemo--> ZakaRiaRia Serious Kopitiam Wed, 12 May 2010 20:10:36 +0800 http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1420078 wat is bak kua roti?<br /><!--SPOILER BEGIN--><div class="spoilertop" onClick="openClose('4fe79fbffc405acf4e1b7d7d2422e381')" style="font-weight: bold"><u>&raquo; Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... &laquo;</u></div><div class="spoilermain" id="4fe79fbffc405acf4e1b7d7d2422e381" style="display:none"><!--SPOILER END--><br />bak kua roti or driedmeat bread. The traditional ingredients normally consisted of meat floss and dried meat but these days more and more varieties like luncheon meat, chicken internals, chicken feet, sausages were offered for the bak kua roti.<!--SPOILER DIV--></div><!--SPOILER DIV--><br /><a href='http://www.penangtuapui.com/2008/10/penang-food-farlim-laksa-and-bak-kua-roti/' target='_blank'>http://www.penangtuapui.com/2008/10/penang...d-bak-kua-roti/</a><br /><br />I like hokkien driedbbqpork bread anytime la.. ZakaRiaRia Serious Kopitiam Tue, 11 May 2010 21:22:39 +0800 http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1418903 if u hv to travel away ...very far away..<br /><br />My fren always says, it is always better to end long distance relationship, and find a local girl to date ..<br /><br />reasons, easy to meet up. <br /><br />if LDR, there are tonnes of problems to handle, especially time... if it takes 8 hours to met her, so much energy is wasted on the transportation...<br /><br />if calling with phone, the &#39;&#39;feel&#39; is always not there..esp if calling at the wrong time, needless to say about texting.. ZakaRiaRia Serious Kopitiam Mon, 10 May 2010 22:18:20 +0800 http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1418725 I like char kueh teow anytime, only eat cao hor fun if terpaksa. ZakaRiaRia Serious Kopitiam Mon, 10 May 2010 19:49:49 +0800 http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1418632 my theory is hokkien first,<br /><br />u see, all the historical town/ancient port city, Penang, melacca, kuala terengganu ...all speak hokkien..<br /><br />then those places that only famous in bijih timah era, after 1900s, perak, kl ...all speak canto...<br /><br />so hokkien came to settle down in acient port cities, after that, timber era, canto came to perak and ipoh to korek tanah..<br /><br />hence hokkien came first ZakaRiaRia Serious Kopitiam Mon, 10 May 2010 18:27:31 +0800 http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1418620 do u know?<br /><br />please tell me... <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://static.lowyat.net/style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo--> ZakaRiaRia Serious Kopitiam Mon, 10 May 2010 18:15:22 +0800