Lowyat.NET: Latest topics by CrazySinner

[SOLD] HP Color LaserJet Pro MFP M177fw

CrazySinner — Sun, 26 Mar 2017 18:22:48 +0800

Item(s): HP Color LaserJet Pro MFP M177fw

Package includes: Printer in unopened box

Price: SOLD

Warranty: Standard 1 year from HP

Dealing method:COD

Location: Klang Valley

Contact method/details: PM
---

Item(s) conditions: New and unused

Picture:

Reason for sale: Won from lucky draw

Age of Stupid - War For Resources Animation

CrazySinner — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 22:22:46 +0800

Yes, I'm slowpoke, I just watched it
[YOUTUBE]zPO9rsnBZRY[/YOUTUBE]

Christmas Smilies on Gamers Hideout

CrazySinner — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 18:52:35 +0800

Hi Mod,

I notice that when I reply on the gamers hideout subforum, clickable smilies on the left shown are the "Christmas Theme Smilies". Should they be changed back to the normal one?

Traditional Clothes

CrazySinner — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 17:29:34 +0800

Let's discuss about traditional clothes, how many of you wear traditional clothes as casual clothes? And where do you normally get your traditional clothes?

Punny Joke

CrazySinner — Sat, 08 Jan 2011 18:01:52 +0800

One day an immigrant from Poland entered a New York City Police Precinct to report that his American wife was planning to kill him.
The police officer on duty was intrigued by this, and he asked, "How sure are ya that she is gonna kill ya? Did she threaten to kill ya?"
"No," replied the nervous immigrant.
"Did ya hear her tell someone else that she's gonna kill ya?"
"No."
"Did someone tell ya that your wife is gonna kill ya?"
"No."
"Then why in God's name did ya think she's gonna kill ya?" asked the exasperated police officer.
"Because I found bottle on dresser and I think she gonna poison me!" He handed the police officer the suspect bottle.
The police officer took one look at the label on the bottle and started to laugh out loud.
The immigrant became indignant and said, "What's so funny? Can't you see the label on bottle says 'Polish Remover'?"

Galleria at Jln Pahang(KL) are full of police

CrazySinner — Wed, 07 May 2008 23:14:16 +0800

I just pass by Galleria at Jalan Pahang and it's very jam there because lots of police/police car are like surrounding the plaza. There are also lots of passer-by there standing near the plaza. Anyone know what's going on over there?

Whales

CrazySinner — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 19:33:51 +0800

A male whale and his girlfriend were swimming around in the ocean, when all of a sudden, the male whale catches sight of a whaling vessel in the distance. He takes a closer look, and recognizes it as the ship that harpooned his parents many years ago.

So, he turns to his girlfriend and tells her that he wants to avenge the death of his parents. She hesitates, knowing that they could become the next victims of the vessel, but he reassures her and tells her that he has been planning this all of his life, and he swims over and whispers the plan to her.

So, she agrees and they swim up under one side of the boat, and they both start blowing air through their blow holes. The boat starts to rock back-and-forth, and the sailors on the ship are scrambling all over the deck.

Finally the boat tips over, and the sailors are scattered through the ocean. The male whale is delighted and starts to gobble up the sailors, but the female whale starts to swim away. So the male whale swims over to her, and asks her what is wrong.

She huffs and puffs and says, "I agreed to the blow job, but there is no way I'm going to swallow the seamen."

Cookies

CrazySinner — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 18:48:20 +0800

A woman found out that her husband was cheating on her while stationed in Saudi a few months ago. So she sends him this care package. He is excited to get a package from his wife back home. He finds that it contains a batch of home made cookies and a VHS tape of his favorite TV shows. He invites a couple of his buddies over and they're all sitting around having a great time eating some cookies and watching some episodes of South Park.

Right in the middle of one episode the tape cuts to a home video of his wife on her knees sucking his best friend's ding dong. After a few seconds, he blows his load in her pie hole and she turns and spits the load right into the mixing bowl of cookie dough. She then looks at the camera and says, "By the way, I want a divorce."

[WTA] How is netbig2 made?

CrazySinner — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 13:51:41 +0800

Sorry if I'm in the wrong section or if I'm asking a stupid question.

I'm not a code master but all of a sudden I got some interest on knowing how netbig2 is made. Because i wanted to make something else that use the same concept like chess, poker or even tic-tac-toe so that i can play with my friends online.
Please let me know what software does it uses. Does it require a beginner level, advance level, or expect level to be able to made something like this.
In case you don't know what netbig2 is just google "netbig2". You can download it from there.
Thanks in advance.

History Lesson

CrazySinner — Tue, 09 Jan 2007 22:52:44 +0800

It was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the son of a local Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Martinez, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."

"Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'?"

Again, no response except from Martinez: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863," said Martinez.

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Martinez, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans."

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Martinez put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."

The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Martinez says, "George Bush at dinner with the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Martinez jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with the class almost at mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."

Martinez frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001."

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, we're in BIG trouble!"

Martinez said, "Saddam Hussein, April 9th 2003!"

10 Question Quiz

CrazySinner — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 22:54:41 +0800

(Passing requires 4 correct answers...)

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

3) From which animal do we get catgut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands in the Atlantic are named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI's first name?

8) What color is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?

Quiz Answers:

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

How they were made?

CrazySinner — Thu, 23 Nov 2006 17:21:25 +0800

A dentist was getting ready to clean an elderly lady's teeth. He noticed that she was a little nervous, so he began to tell her a story as he was putting on his surgical gloves.

"Do you know how they make these rubber gloves?"

She said, "No, I don't have any idea."

"Well," he spoofed,

"Down in Mexico they have this big building set up with a large tank of latex, and the workers are all picked according to hand size. Each individual walks up to the tank, dips their hands in and then walks around for a bit while the latex sets and dries right onto their hands! Then they peel off the gloves and throw them into the big 'Finished Goods' crate and start the process all over again."
She didn't laugh one bit.

Five minutes later, during the procedure, he had to stop cleaning her teeth because she burst out laughing.

The old woman blushed and exclaimed,

"I just suddenly thought about how they must make condoms!"

Police Interactions

CrazySinner — Thu, 23 Nov 2006 17:18:13 +0800

A few interesting public/police interactions:

GOOD:
A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting too many. Then, he discovered the problem. A 10-year old boy was standing up the road from him with a hand-painted sign which read, "RADAR TRAP AHEAD". The officer then found a younger accomplice down the road with a sign reading "TIPS" and a bucket full of change.

BETTER:
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of the $40. The police department responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

BEST:
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the motorcycle officer walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you're going to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen's Ball". He replied, "Highway Patrolmen don't have balls." There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd just said. He then silently closed his book, got back on his motorcycle and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car for several minutes.

BE SURE THAT THERE IS A PROBLEM.

CrazySinner — Thu, 23 Nov 2006 17:09:00 +0800

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops-a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back. Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it.

The next day the same thing happened-Big John got on again, made a showoff refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the one after that, and so forth. This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him.

Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong & invested a lot of money as well ; what's more, he felt really good about himself.

So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said," Big John doesn't pay!," the driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not?" With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied,
"Big John has a bus pass !"

Moral of the story:-- Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one

The Joys of E-mail

CrazySinner — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 22:06:54 +0800

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your damn chain letters over the past few years. Yes, thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of what's left of my heart for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
Because of your concern...

I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day

I no longer use margarine because it's one molecule away from being plastic.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Zebekistan.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer date the opposite sex because they will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. (Geez, the BIBLE did not mention it works that way!)

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me!

I will now return the favor.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will crap on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your armpits.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's 8th husband's 2nd cousin's 3rd husband's ex-wife's mother's beautician!

Ain't spam great?!?!?

Big People Words

CrazySinner — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 21:55:02 +0800

A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk.

"You need to use 'big people' words," she'd always remind them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana."

"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo."

She said, "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. Use big people words." She then asked Bobby what he had done. "I read a book," he replied.

"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Bobby thought about it, then puffed out his little chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the $hit."

The New Boss

CrazySinner — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 21:41:16 +0800

A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business!

The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?" Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $200.00 a week."

The CEO hands the guy $200 in cash and screams, "Here's a week's pay,now GET OUT!"

Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks " Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?"

With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, " Pizza delivery guy"

Irish Wedding

CrazySinner — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 20:10:13 +0800

A wedding occurred just outside Cavan in Ireland.

To keep tradition going, everyone gets extremely drunk and the bride's and groom's families have a storming row and begin wrecking the reception room and generally kicking the shit out of each other. The police get called in to break up the fight.

The following week, all members of both families appear in court. The fight continues in the courtroom until the judge finally brings calm with the use of his gavel, shouting, "Silence in court!"

The courtroom goes silent and Paddy, the best man, stands up and says, "Judge, I was the best man at the wedding and I think I should explain what happened."

The judge agrees and asks Paddy to take the stand. Paddy begins his explanation by telling the court that it is traditional in a Cavan wedding that the best man gets the first dance with the bride.
The judge says, "OK."
"Well," said Paddy, "after I had finished the first dance, the music kept going, so I continued dancing to the second song, and after that the music kept going and I was dancing to the third song, when all of a sudden the groom leapt over the table, ran towards us and gave the bride an unmerciful kick right between her legs."

Shocked, the judge instantly responded, "God, that must have hurt!"

"Hurt?" Paddy replies. "He broke three of my fingers!"

My First Time

CrazySinner — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 18:20:36 +0800

My First Time

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a package of condoms. There was a beautiful woman behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked, if I knew how to wear one.

I honestly answered, "No."

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped over her thumb, She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store. It was empty.

"Just a minute," she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.

Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. "Do these excite you?" she asked.

Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said, it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and laid down on a desk.

"Well, come on", she said, "We don't have much time."

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and POW, I was done within a few minutes. She looked at me with a frown. "Did you put that condom on?"

I said, "I sure did," and held up my thumb to show her.

Penis Study

CrazySinner — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 20:34:10 +0800

Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a mans' penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and cost over $1.2 million. The study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.

After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the British study was incorrect. After three years of research at a cost of in excess of $2 million, the French researchers concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex.

When the results of the French study were released, Australia decided to conduct their own study. The Aussies didnt really trust British or French studies. So, after nearly three hours of intensive research and a cost of right around $75.00 ( 3 cases of beer), the Aussie study was complete. They concluded that the reason the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead!