Lowyat.NET: Latest topics by n00b13

For those who still think Feminism is a dirty word

n00b13 — Thu, 04 Oct 2012 15:57:05 +0800

[YOUTUBE]flm8BwEmM3E[/YOUTUBE]

And while it speaks to American society, don't think it isn't relevant right here in Malaysia.

The 3 Breakups

n00b13 — Mon, 20 Aug 2012 22:07:22 +0800

I read this on another site and it's too good not to share.

Before you get married - before you settle down and commit yourself to one person for the rest of your life - you should have at least 3 relationships. And you should break up from these 3 relationships in 3 different ways. These experiences will teach you valuable lessons that you need to learn before you can truly find happiness. Think of it as your Foundation, Intermediate and Advanced-level courses.

1. The breakup in which your heart gets broken. Most people will experience this. This is the breakup that hurts really, really bad. Maybe you were cheated on. Maybe you were just cruelly and coldly dumped. Or maybe (and I know people who've experienced this before) your partner just up and disappeared and never even bothered to let you know it's over. In any case, it's the kind of breakup where you feel like your world has just ended.

The lesson: You can survive. Your world has not ended. Your life goes on. And eventually, you will learn to open up again and love another person. The first time hurts the worst; if it happens again, just tell yourself "been there, done that." Having your heart broken doesn't kill you. It only makes your heart stronger.

2. The breakup in which you break someone else's heart. Most people may not even be aware that they experienced this. This is where you dump someone. It might be for any number of reasons. You found someone better. You got tired of the relationship. You never really loved that person, it was only lust or pity or puppy love. But that person whom you dumped will suffer the deepest of pain, and it is because of you.

The lesson: You realize the power you have over the people close to you. You realize how badly you can hurt someone, especially those who love you. You realize your responsibility to be kind, sensitive and respectful - to not be the kind of people who hurt you.

3. The breakup that is perfectly amicable and has no hard feelings whatsoever. Most people may never experience this, but it is important. Maybe the relationship was troubled and stormy - but the both of you can agree that breaking up is for the best. Or maybe the relationship was perfectly pleasant, but it has to end for whatever reason, and both of you can accept that. Maybe you can both remain friends - and only friends.

The lesson: That love and romance doesn't have to be painful. You don't have to have drama in your life. Your relationship can be steady and peaceful without being boring; it can be wild and passionate without being heart-breaking. If you're smart, if you're mature, if you know how to choose people who are equally smart and mature, you can be happy. Even through breakups.

This explains a LOT about the threads on CC

n00b13 — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 12:44:22 +0800

It's really worth your time to click on the link and read it on the site, but I'm copypasta-ing the whole thing here for the lazy ones who won't bother to click. 'Cos even they ought to read this.

QUOTE

5 Ways Modern Men Are Trained to Hate Women
By: David Wong March 27, 2012 1,189,567 views

If you're not the type to keep up with ugly, soul-killing political controversies, let me catch you up: A while back, hugely popular political commentator Rush Limbaugh lost a bunch of advertisers because he publicly called a college girl a slut and a prostitute after she suggested that health insurance plans should cover birth control. But he's paid to say outrageous things. If you really want to feel all dead inside, you need to listen to what the regular folk were saying.

For instance, on crazy political message board FreeRepublic.com, posters referred to the girl in the above-referenced story (Sandra Fluke) as a "Nasty, disease-ridden plodding uterus, an utter skank crack-ho filthy whore, a prostitute slutbag juice-receptacle" and a "Sperm-burpin' gutter slut," and said she "... is so encrusted and used, that I had to throw out my flat-panel TV because her appearance on my TV infected it with AIDS, gonorrhea and syphilis." There are many, many more worse comments collected here and here and here.

Now go to the front page of any mostly male discussion site like Reddit.com and see how many inches you can browse before finding several thousand men bemoaning how all women are gold-digging whores (7,500 upvotes) and how crazy and irrational women are (9,659 upvotes) and how horrible and gross and fat women are (4,000 upvotes). Or browse the "Men's Rights" section and see weird fantasies about alpha males defeating all the hot women who try to control them with their vaginas.

This current of white-hot rage has to come as a surprise to some of you, because we tend to think "sexism" is being dismissive toward women, or paying them lower salaries -- we don't think of it as frenzied "burn the witch!" hatred. Yet occasionally something like this Limbaugh thing will come along to prick that balloon, and out it pours. Like it's always waiting there, a millimeter below the surface.

Why? Well, you see ...

#5. We Were Told That Society Owed Us a Hot Girl

Does it seem like men feel kind of entitled to sex? Does it seem like we react to rejection with the maturity of a child being denied a toy?

Well, you have to keep in mind that what we learn as kids is really hard to deprogram as an adult. And what we learned as kids is that we males are each owed, and will eventually be awarded, a beautiful woman.

We were told this by every movie, TV show, novel, comic book, video game and song we encountered. When the Karate Kid wins the tournament, his prize is a trophy and Elisabeth Shue. Neo saves the world and is awarded Trinity. Marty McFly gets his dream girl, John McClane gets his ex-wife back, Keanu "Speed" Reeves gets Sandra Bullock, Shia LaBeouf gets Megan Fox in Transformers, Iron Man gets Pepper Potts, the hero in Avatar gets the hottest Na'vi, Shrek gets Fiona, Bill Murray gets Sigourney Weaver in Ghostbusters, Frodo gets Sam, WALL-E gets EVE ... and so on.

Hell, at the end of An Officer and a Gentleman, Richard Gere walks into the lady's workplace and just carries her out like he's picking up a suit at the dry cleaner.

And then we have Star Wars, where Luke starts out getting Princess Leia (in The Empire Strikes Back), but then as Han Solo became a fan favorite, George Lucas realized he had to award her to him instead (forcing him to write the "She's secretly Luke's sister" thing into Return of the Jedi, even though it meant adding the weird incest vibe to Empire). With Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling played with the convention by having the beautiful girl get awarded to the sidekick character Ron, but she made it a central conflict in the story that Ron is constantly worried that, since Harry is the main character, Hermione will be awarded to him instead.

In each case, the woman has no say in this -- compatibility doesn't matter, prior relationships don't matter, nothing else factors in. If the hero accomplishes his goals, he is awarded his favorite female. Yes, there will be dialogue that maybe makes it sound like the woman is having doubts, and she will make noises like she is making the decision on her own. But we, as the audience, know that in the end the hero will "get the girl," just as we know that at the end of the month we're going to "get our paycheck." Failure to award either is breaking a societal contract. The girl can say what she wants, but we all know that at the end, she will wind up with the hero, whether she knows it or not.

And now you see the problem. From birth we're taught that we're owed a beautiful girl. We all think of ourselves as the hero of our own story, and we all (whether we admit it or not) think we're heroes for just getting through our day.

So it's very frustrating, and I mean frustrating to the point of violence, when we don't get what we're owed. A contract has been broken. These women, by exercising their own choices, are denying it to us. It's why every Nice Guy is shocked to find that buying gifts for a girl and doing her favors won't win him sex. It's why we go to "slut" and "whore" as our default insults -- we're not mad that women enjoy sex. We're mad that women are distributing to other people the sex that they owed us.

Yes, the women in these stories are being portrayed as wonderful and beautiful and perfect. But remember, there are two ways to dehumanize someone: by dismissing them, and by idolizing them.

Which brings us to the next problem ...

#4. We're Trained from Birth to See You as Decoration

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with putting a pretty girl on the cover of a magazine or posing her next to a shiny new car. The pretty girl gets a good job, men want her, women want to be her, everybody is happy. Right?

The problem is that it goes way deeper than that.

From my experience, if there is a fundamental difference between male and female sexuality, it's this: There are actual occasions where women aren't thinking about sex. Here, let me show you an extreme example. I'm going to quote a Free Republic thread again, because I quite frankly can't stop reading them. These are some comments they made about a female public figure, and I want you to guess who it is:

"Her face is so ugly you can smash it into some dough and make gorilla cookies."

"So fugly, I'd say 'don't even look'!!!"

"At least Medusa was modestly attractive by comparison."

"This person is disgusting and I would never trust 'it's' opinion on ANYTHING!"

Have you guessed? They're talking about Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan.

Yes, even in that setting, when judging a female for a position on the highest court in the land, our instinct is still to judge her suitability as a sex partner. It's the first thing we notice. And you could just write that off as a bunch of douches being shallow, but then you have to realize how all of society has conformed to this. Forget about objectification in the media or fashion industry -- go to a diner, they've got the pretty girl waiting tables. Go to a department store, they'll have a pretty girl selling you pants.

See, that's the difference. With men, there are some scenarios where it stops mattering how he looks. With women, it always matters. In a comedy movie, the male wacky sidekick can be the chubby Zach Galifianakis or the nearly deformed Steve Buscemi. But if the female wacky sidekick isn't attractive, like the overweight Melissa McCarthy in Bridesmaids, then every scene needs to be about how ugly and fat and mannish she is. That has to be the core of her character.

Her role in society or level of accomplishment doesn't matter. Even if she's a damned candidate for the Supreme Court, the female always has a dual role: to function as a person, and to act as decor.

And we get pissed if she doesn't do her job. Check out any article about a female celebrity who has gained weight. Here's literally the first one I found on Google, a blog post about how fat Christina Aguilera has gotten. Check the comments:

"f*** her! I have a full-time job, go to grad school full-time, cook at home every night and still find time to get my ass to the gym. lazy ass fat b**** ..."

Don't get me wrong -- if it's a male celebrity in the article, you'll get lots of people making fun of his fatness. If it's a female, you get anger.

She owes it to us to be pretty. That's the social contract as we've understood it from the time we were toddlers.

And it's a no-win situation. We hate you if you're ugly; if you're pretty, then ...

#3. We Think You're Conspiring With Our Boners to Ruin Us

... aka, Why Do You Think the Garden of Eden Story Has a Snake?

First, you need to understand something about the unique love/hate relationship men have with their penises.

Do you remember that story about police having to free a guy who got his d*** stuck while humping a pool filter? Or that other guy who got stuck humping a park bench, or the other guy who got stuck humping a picnic table? Or that judge who got caught jerking off while on the bench listening to testimony?

You see this type of story come up a lot -- check your local police blotter. And they all have something in common: They're all guys.

Seriously, do a Google search for "masturbating in public library." Notice something in common with all of those stories? They're all dudes. Obviously I'm not saying women don't pleasure themselves (every single study would prove me a liar); I'm saying that men are far, far more likely to engage in extremely high-risk masturbation in public. They're more likely to do it at work, and they're more likely to do it in situations where they could go to jail.

No, it's not some rare, weird exhibitionist fetish, either. It's that they can't even wait the couple of hours it'd take to do it safely at home.

It makes absolutely no sense. All calculation of risk goes out the window. Why?

It's because, in males more so than females, the sex drive is completely detached from the rest of the personality. The part of the male brain that worries about job security or money or social reputation or legal consequences has almost no veto power over the sex drive. You've heard guys say they were "thinking with their d***" or "I was thinking with the little brain" or "I took an order from Captain Bonerhelmet." That's what they're referring to.

Science doesn't seem to totally understand why the "base urges" part of the brain reacts differently in men. Maybe it's just a matter of having 10 times as much testosterone in their system, or maybe society has trained us to be like this, or maybe we're all spoiled children. My theory is that evolution needs males who will stay horny even in times of crisis or distress, and thus cuts off the brain's ability to tamp down those urges. Whatever -- nailing down the cause isn't the point. The point is that a man can be giving the eulogy at his own grandmother's funeral, and if there is a girl in the front row showing cleavage, he will be imagining himself pressing those boobs in his face, with his own dead grandmother not five feet away.

When that happens, when we get that boner at the funeral, we get mad at the girl showing the cleavage. Because we, ourselves, our own rational personality that knows right from wrong and appropriate from inappropriate, knows this is a bad place to get a boner. So it comes off like cleavage girl is conspiring with our penis to screw us over.

Is that a crazy thing to think? Yep! That's why it's so frustrating, especially if you don't have a whole lot of emotional maturity, and grew up with male role models who had even less.

No, this doesn't excuse anything. Obviously, "She was asking for it!" is still a bullshit rape defense. All I'm saying is when you see guys actually get annoyed or angry at the sight of a girl showing too much skin, or if you see them eager to degrade or humiliate the girls at the strip club, this is why. It's probably why some Muslims make their women cover themselves head to toe.

And in the Bible, it's Eve who tempts Adam to sin ... by conspiring with a snake.

Every male reading this is going to think I'm belaboring the obvious (after all, the world is full of comedy bits like this one about how hot girls are almost demonic in their ability to control males against their will). But I have never explained this to a woman who didn't look at me like I was insisting that all men are secretly werewolves.

But even this isn't the thing that makes us angriest ...

#2. We Feel Like Manhood Was Stolen from Us at Some Point

You know how every comedy has that stock character of the womanizing, amoral guy who just says what he thinks all the time, and cares only about himself? Joey in Friends, Charlie Sheen in Two and a Half Men, Sterling Archer in Archer, Gob in Arrested Development, Ashton Kutcher's character in That '70s Show, Michael in our Web series, the title character in my books?

Guys love that character because he's doing what, on some level, we all wish we could do. It's also why you have all of these ad campaigns desperately appealing to males who fear that they've lost their masculinity ("If you use a competitor's product, we're going to have to take away your Man Card!")

See, every single male can remember the first time, when he was 5 or 6 years old, he showed his penis to a stranger and everybody started freaking the hell out. He can remember the first time he got in trouble for hitting somebody, for peeing in public, for trying to jump off some high object or set something on fire. All of the core male urges, all the suggestions whispered to us by Darth Penis, all of it gets us in trouble.

And, when we get nostalgic for the past, we always dress it up in some ridiculous fantasy like 300, where everybody is shirtless and screaming and hacking things with swords. We are fed this idea that at one time, this is how the world was -- all of these impulses that have been getting us grounded and sent to detention from kindergarten on used to be not only allowed, but celebrated.

And then at some point, women took it all away.

A once-great world of heroes and strength and warriors and cigars and crude jokes has been replaced by this world of grumpy female supervisors looming over our cubicle to hand us a memo about sending off-color jokes via email. Yes, that entire narrative is a grossly skewed and self-serving version of how society actually evolved. It doesn't matter.

The result is a combination of frustration and humiliation and powerlessness that makes us want to get it back in the only way we know how: with petty, immature acts of meanness.

#1. We Feel Powerless

I don't know what it's like to be a woman. I haven't been one in a long time. So as a result, it's not easy for me to describe what it's like to be a man, because I don't know what you're using for context. I'm going to do my best:

Did you ever watch old cartoons where a character is starving on a desert island, and when another character approaches, he's so hungry that he imagines the other character as a talking piece of food?

It's like that for most men, most of the time. We're starving, and all women are various types of food. Only instead of food, it's sex. And we're trying to conduct our everyday business around the fact that we're trying to renew our driver's license with a talking pair of boobs. So, from about age 13 on, around 90 percent of our energy and discipline is devoted to overcoming this, to behave like civilized human beings and not like stray dogs in a meat market. One where instead of eating the meat, they want to hump it.

Right now I'm reading a book from mega-selling fantasy author George R. R. Martin. The following is a passage where he is writing from the point of view of a woman -- always a tough thing for men to do. The girl is on her way to a key confrontation, and the narrator describes it thusly:

"When she went to the stables, she wore faded sandsilk pants and woven grass sandals. Her small breasts moved freely beneath a painted Dothraki vest ..."

That's written from the woman's point of view. Yes, when a male writes a female, he assumes that she spends every moment thinking about the size of her breasts and what they are doing. "Janet walked her boobs across the city square. 'I can see them staring at my boobs,' she thought, boobily." He assumes that women are thinking of themselves the same way we think of them.

Do you see what I'm getting at? Go look outside. See those cars driving by? Every car being driven by a man was designed and built and bought and sold with you in mind. The only reason why small, fuel-efficient or electric cars don't dominate the roads is because we want to look cool in our cars, to impress you.

Go look at a city skyline. All those skyscrapers? We built those to impress you, too. All those sports you see on TV? All of those guys learned to play purely because in school, playing sports gets you laid. All the music you hear on the radio? All of those guys learned to sing and play guitar because as a teenager, they figured out that absolutely nothing gets women out of their pants faster. It's the same reason all of the actors got into acting.

All those wars we fight? Sure, at the upper levels, in the halls of political power, they have some complicated reasons for wanting some piece of land or access to some resource. But on the ground? Well, let me ask you this -- historically, when an army takes over a city, what happens to the women there?

It's all about you. All of it. All of civilization.

So where you see a world in which males dominate the boards of the Fortune 500, and own Congress, and sit at the head of all but a handful of the world's nations, men see themselves as utterly helpless. Because all of those powerful people only became powerful because they heard that women like power.

This is really the heart of it, right here. This is why no amount of male domination will ever be enough, why no level of control or privilege or female submission will ever satisfy us. We can put you under a burqa, we can force you out of the workplace -- it won't matter. You're still all we think about, and that gives you power over us. And we resent you for it.

All of the most bitter disputes work like this, by the way: Both sides think they're the powerless party. It's why tipping servers is such a bitter topic among some people -- the server feels like the customer has all of the power (because their entire income comes from tips), and the customer feels like the server has all the power (because they can deny them food and drink and ruin their one night out). It's why the richest people in the world can talk like they're besieged victims, and mean it. It's why the male leaders of the most powerful and richest church in the world can talk like they're being made martyrs due to women asking for birth control. And mean it.

Which brings us back to where we started. If you add all of this together, you get a world where this woman can testify before Congress about her friend suffering from ovarian cysts ...

... and a male political cartoonist will draw her like this:

Sorry, ladies.

We should have cinemas like this

n00b13 — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 13:00:14 +0800

[YOUTUBE]1L3eeC2lJZs[/YOUTUBE]

How to get past her "I dowant a boyfriend" defense

n00b13 — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 22:11:50 +0800

This is a question for the experienced guys - those who are in a relationship, or at least have been in one.

So there's this girl you like. You're trying your best to tackle her. You date her, you spend time with her, you're trying to get to know her. And then she says this to you:

"Aiyoo, I'm sick of relationships lar. Men cannot be trusted. I've been hurt before, and I've heard so many stories about guys who fool around and boyfriends who cheat and husbands who have affairs. I'm happy being single, and I don't mind being single forever."

You've heard it before. I've heard it before. I suspect that it is a very, very, very common thing that guys will hear from girls.

So my question is this: How did you get past this? If you like this girl, obviously you'll be somewhat discouraged to hear this from her. How did you deal with it?

I'm hoping to hear from experience, rather than advice.

MERANTAU WARRIOR

n00b13 — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 20:07:40 +0800

I wish I'd caught this earlier. Right now it's on the last legs of its run in Malaysian cinemas (or at least in Klang Valley). But it's very much worth it. Indonesia has made a movie that puts our own made-in-Malaysia films to shame, in more ways than one.

And yes, I say it is better than Ong Bak.

Woohoo! | Malaysian CNY film

n00b13 — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 00:48:45 +0800

I really should've started this thread earlier.

If you're Chinese-educated, watch Astro's Chinese channels or are familiar with MyFM radio personalities, you should watch this movie. It's lots of fun and very funny, and definitely better than most made-in-Malaysia movies. Believe me, I'd know.

Also, you'd better watch it quick. I heard that it'll only play for 1 more week, then it makes way for the big CNY movie releases from Hong Kong. Support Malaysian Chinese movies lar.

(500) Days of Summer

n00b13 — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 14:14:41 +0800

The Ugly Truth sucks.

The Proposal is crap.

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past is shit.

This movie is the real deal.

Have you ever wondered if you're really human? Go watch this movie. If you don't laugh, if you can't relate, if there's nothing in this movie that reminds you of your own experiences or feelings, there's your answer.

You are not human.

Go watch it.

Setem

n00b13 — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 22:12:37 +0800

It's funny. It's fun. And if you've never watched a Malay movie in your life, you should still watch this. I guarantee you won't regret it.

Support filem buatan Malaysia! Especially if they're this good!

5 Ways to Let a Girl Know You're Interested In Her

n00b13 — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 14:10:20 +0800

"Confessing" is for losers. Seriously. It is the lamest way of letting a girl know you like her, and it is not very effective. Here's why:

- You're giving up all control over the outcome. All the power is now in her hands to either say yes or no. There's nothing you can do about it anymore.
- You're putting unnecessary pressure on her. Suddenly she has to decide then and there how she feels about you, when she may not even be sure herself yet. And she may be afraid of hurting you if she says no. It's not fair to put her in such a position.
- You're asking her to love you back. You don't ask for love. You offer it, and if she accepts, she will offer hers in return.
- You're setting up an unrealistic expectation. Since you asked for her love, she will tend to see you as someone who always has to earn it. She will see herself as a princess to you, because you played the role of a beggar to her.
- You're creating the impression that you're ashamed to have feelings for her. Because that's what a confession is - an admission of guilt or wrongdoing.
- You're making a huge dramatic moment out something very small. Liking a girl is ultimately a small thing.

Those last two points are perhaps the most important to understand. Just because you've met a girl whom you have the hots for, doesn't mean she's The One OMG!!!11 And wanting to date her doesn't mean you're asking her to promise to marry you ASAP. If you're thinking this way, then of course you're ashamed to admit you like her, because you're expecting far more than she can realistically give. You're probably doing all you can to keep your feelings secret from her and everyone else like a lovesick schoolboy.

Stop being a lovesick schoolboy. Mature adults are not ashamed of their feelings. Whether you've fallen head over heels for her, or you just think she's really really pretty, you should not be afraid to show it - to her. And you can show it in a way that flatters her, that makes her feel desired, and that does not make her uncomfortable.

1) Eye contact. You know how two people tend to not look each other in the eye for too long? That there's usually a time limit before both people look away? Well, if you like this girl, maintain eye contact just a little longer than the time limit. Look at her just a little longer than necessary. Then give her a little smile before looking away. Don't stare, don't glue your eyes to her all the time. Just don't be afraid to show that you like looking at her.

2) Make her laugh. It's one thing to get her to talk comfortably with you. It's another thing for her to enjoy talking to you, so much so that she remembers how much she enjoys talking to you. Be at your wittiest and most charming, put some effort into making her laugh. Don't be too shy to say something like, "Hey, wanna hear a joke?" Then tell her a dozen jokes, one after another. Let her know that you're purposely trying to make her happy.

3) Remember the things she says. Listen to what she has to say, then show her that you listened. If she mentioned her dog Poochie, greet her with "Hi, how's Poochie?" the next time you see her. If she mentioned she has trouble sleeping, ask her if she slept well the next day. If she likes a certain TV show, find out when the show airs, then ask her how was last night's episode the next day. Better yet, watch the show, so that you can talk about it with her. You can even tell her you didn't like the show - the fact that you watched it just because of her is flattering enough.

4) Physical proximity/contact. This is a tricky one, so be very careful. Position yourself closer to her - not too close, but a little closer than normal. You know the distance between friends, and the distance between bf and gf? You want to be exactly halfway in-between. (And better make sure you're wearing deodorant!) Similarly, give her a little touch every now and then, but be careful. Touch her shoulder when you want to get her attention. When talking to her, pat her on her arm to emphasize a point; if you've gotten close enough to her, you can try her thigh. When walking together, put your hand on the small of her back to guide her in a different direction. Just don't let your hand linger there too long.

You know what's the best thing about all these? They are measurable. Meaning, you will know instantly whether or not they're working. If she likes you, she will return the eye contact with you; she will laugh at all your jokes; she will appreciate the fact that you remember things about her; she will stand close to you, and she will touch you. If she doesn't, then you'll know she's not interested. By doing these things, you're not only showing her you like her, you're also giving her the option of gently rejecting you - or subtly encouraging you.

And if you're getting all the right signals from her, it's time to move on to:

5) Ask her out. Just you and her. None of the rest of your gang. Nobody else. Yes, it's a date. It could be a movie, it could be a drink at a coffee place, or if you're really confident, it could be dinner at a nice restaurant. Don't treat it as if it's a big deal, as if by saying yes she'll be making a big commitment to you. Keep this in mind if she's reluctant - say, "Hey, it's just a movie/coffee/dinner, I'm not asking you to marry me laa."

And after you do all this, after you've got the date... then what?

Then you just let it happen naturally. And believe me, if you've gotten this far and the girl has been showing all the signs of liking you, it will happen naturally. Which may be a surprise if you've always thought that tackling a girl is a long, gruelling, agonizingly difficult task that involves a "confession". You may be surprised at how easy it was. Which is as it should be. (And don't give me that "if it's easy to get, you won't appreciate" nonsense. ) If a guy and a girl like each other, they should fall into a relationship easily.

This is how mature adults do it. And even if you are a lovesick schoolboy, you should still do it this way. Because it's the right way to do it.

Note: these are not 5 steps. They're only arranged in that order from most to least daring, but you don't need to follow the order - except that if you want her to say yes to no. 5, you should've gotten good responses to nos. 1-4 first. No. 3 obviously only works from the second time you see her onwards, but if you're getting signals from her during your very first meeting, then by all means ask her out there and then. They're not 5 steps, they're 5 ways.

Skrip 7707

n00b13 — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 03:46:08 +0800

Aduuuuuuh.

This movie is made of fail. There is soooo much fail in here. Acting fail, directing fail, story fail, set design fail, logic fail... everything also fail.

Okaylah, not everything. The music was quite scary. But it's the only thing that's scary. Scary fail.

Oh, and there's a quite good ghost special effect too. That's about it.

State of Play

n00b13 — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 01:29:30 +0800

Tired of the typical Hollywood summer blockbuster-wannabe? Sick of loud, flashy, CGI-filled spectacles? Want to watch something that has a brain, something serious and relevant to the real world?

Then may I recommend State of Play. It's not the best political thriller ever - but smart movies for smart people are rare, and if you like this kind of film you should definitely support it.

Fighting

n00b13 — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 12:33:53 +0800

It is not a typical B-grade "ta kau" flick.

Well, to a certain extent it is. The plot is tired and formulaic.

But everything else - the acting, the dialogue, the look and feel of the movie, the execution of it. It's really done quite well.

This movie deserves a fighting chance. Ha ha! I made teh funny.

Syurga Cinta

n00b13 — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 01:47:03 +0800

I don't suppose LYN is very interested in this local movie.

Still I feel obliged to issue this warning: Don't watch it. Please. It is bad. It is very very bad. It is the worst movie I've seen in a long, long time.

I feel like sharing

n00b13 — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 00:48:47 +0800

So there's this girl I dated a few years back.

How we met is actually pretty funny. I was at a club, for some office party thingy. Ran into a guy friend, he was with a few girls, introduced me to them. One of them caught my eye, I tried turning the charm on her, but she seemed distracted. Oh well, went back to partying with my colleagues, ended up getting pretty wasted.

So the next morning I was hungover and miserable, when my phone rang... and it was her. She called to apologize to me for being rude the night before. Turns out my guy friend actually scolded her for ignoring me, and so she called me to apologize.

My feelings at the time are best described by the Cantonese phrase, "jup dou".

So we started going out for a while. I liked her a lot - she was smart, witty, bubbly, vivacious, and very attractive. But although she was comfortable around me, I never really felt like she liked me, in any romantic way. After a while, I got the sense that I wasn't having much success with her at all.

And my own feelings for her? Well, I liked her a lot, but I don't think I ever loved her. Of course I found her physically very attractive - but her outlook on life differed from mine in many fundamental ways. She had rich parents, and she'd been wasting their money hopping from one college course to another, never doing very well in any of her studies. When I met her, she was preparing to leave for UK for 4 years for yet another course... which of course put a damper on my romantic intentions. And she was very cynical about love - she had a part-time job, and she told me her plan was to marry her boss once she comes back from UK, because he's rich. Yes, I was disappointed to hear that, but I was also pretty damn amused by her naivety.

One time when we were talking on the phone, just before she left, she asked me straight out: "What do you expect from me?" By then I'd already taken her out a few times and bought her a gift or two, so she was well aware of my feelings toward her. And I was pretty well aware of hers toward me too; I already knew by then that my chances with her were slim to none.

So I answered, "I expect only to be your friend."

<sigh> I know, I know. Lame.

So I met her one last time before she left, and gave her one last going-away present - a book. The Princess Bride by William Goldman (and if you've read it you'll know why I bought it for her ). That was the last I saw of her. It's been more than 4 years since, and if she's back in M'sia I haven't heard from her. I hope she's happy, and I certainly hope she hasn't married her boss. (Or if she has, at least for a better reason than the one she told me.)

My greatest regret about her? The answer to her question, of course. If I could go back and do it all again, I wouldn't have given such a lame-ass, wussy answer. What I should have answered, when she asked me "what do you expect from me", was...

"To get in your pants."