What I angry about?

Wellsaid88 — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 20:24:37 +0800

I really not sure what I angry about.

I got 1 female friend . I'm very close to her and joking around her most of the time. And I enjoy teasing her and make fun of her. Cuz her reaction is really funny.
But I only think her as a very close friend.
Although , all my friends always laughing at me that I love her or whatsoever. I only will say " You all are sicko. Go find some doctor."

But
Thing started to change this lately. Maybe is my friends fault for always laughing at us that we are couple.
I starting to feel shy when I looking at her and I couldn't react what I normally will react when facing her ( like trying to make fun of her. Teasing her etc. When I try to make fun of her with a joke , I will just think " well, it is not funny after all"). I feel like I lost my ability to make fun of her. But such thing is not the issue here. We keep getting along well as a friend.

Today
I feel sick . Not a serious 1 but my face do looks tired ( very tired ).
When I in collage, she tell me to go home to get some rest ( with the attitude of "go back lar" ).
I was thinking "wth?? she don't wanna see me so tell me to go home?".
At last , I still go back home cuz I really tired today.
But strange that I feel uneasy with the statement (very uneasy . It just bothering me all the day and during my sleep).

An hour later around five which my class normally end for the day. I receive her SMS asking me how do I feel and telling me that my friends worry about me. And of course, without a reason, I feel really happy.
And I tell her that I feel better and why SMS me since she keep on nagging to go home earlier cuz she dun wanna see me.
And she reply "Of course lar... Dun wanna see ghost in class mar (refer to my tired face. Nothing offensive)...Who I oso sms one not need to be strange".

Strangely
Dunno why. I suddenly feel angry towards the statement " who I oso sms 1 not need be strange ".
And I reply directly saying that " You sux . Go away ".
Perhaps , "real" quarrel starts here.
She replied " U start the fight lo... So all notes u borrow from others la sux (which she promised to borrow me ealier)... Dun waste my credit to this kind of ppl... U period ar? ".
I was angry and replied "Whatever ler. You not intend to borrow me start from the beginning".
And our SMS end here

Now I feel kinda uneasy. And wondering why I will feel angry with sth like this.
Wondering if she really angry.
Looking back she SMSed me asking for my condition already actually made me glad enough.
But why I feels glad?? I didn't tell myself b4 that I love her or anything.
I feel guilty. Feel like apologizing to her but feel like I gonna become a loser to apologize to her.
And since she didn't reply my last msg, I feel I shouldn't SMS her anymore cuz the genral rule while smsing with girl is never msg her twice ( cuz they will think you are annoying ).
I really dunno what to do.

Please leave some constructive advice and please don't spam. Sorry if there is any bad english.

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What I angry about?