Lowyat.NET: Latest topics by oucheev

Handphone Number

oucheev — Mon, 08 Jul 2019 13:47:55 +0800

One day, a wife checked her husband's handphone and found the following names:-

1) The loving one
2) The amazing one
3) Lady of my dreams

She got angry and called the first number and person who answered was his mother.

She called the second number and the person who answered was his sister.

When she dialed the third number, her own phone rang!

She cried until her eyes got swollen because she had doubted her innocent husband. So she gave him her whole month's salary to make up for it.

The husband took the money and bought a gift to his mistress whose name was saved as Kedai Motor Ah Seng.

Little Mermaid

oucheev — Thu, 04 Jul 2019 15:24:49 +0800

😁

Accident

oucheev — Fri, 28 Jun 2019 16:26:35 +0800

Made in China

oucheev — Wed, 26 Jun 2019 09:35:40 +0800

A US senator who was a staunch supporter of Trump called his wife that President Trump is going to visit his house.

He told his wife to remove everything that is made in China because he did not want to make Trump angry.

When they arrived, they found that the house has no doors and is completely empty with no furniture.

His wife stood there naked with no clothes on and her breast collapsed as her silicone implants was also made in China.

A Wise Saying

oucheev — Fri, 14 Jun 2019 15:45:39 +0800

A wise man once said "If you make a women laugh, you've half undressed her"

However, if you're half undress and she laughs, that's a different thing altogether!

Lost panties

oucheev — Wed, 12 Jun 2019 16:15:26 +0800

A lady lost 3 panties in her house.

She got angry and scolded the maid. She accused the maid of stealing her panties.

In defence, the maid said "Sir, you are my witness, you know I never wear panties"

Things we don't know their purpose

oucheev — Wed, 29 May 2019 18:56:24 +0800

😁😁😁

Andy Hui Jacqueline Wong affair

oucheev — Tue, 16 Apr 2019 15:35:40 +0800

Latest breaking news from HK. Kenneth Ma wear green hat. Pity Sammi Cheng.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3JFPsNpCRE

Black Hole

oucheev — Fri, 12 Apr 2019 14:32:01 +0800

New hole in the universe

Parking

oucheev — Wed, 20 Mar 2019 19:04:34 +0800

All of us face this problem

Best answer

oucheev — Wed, 20 Mar 2019 09:00:39 +0800

Funny but so true!

Stupid Job Interview

oucheev — Wed, 16 Jan 2019 09:13:50 +0800

Just received a call from a government agency asking me to attend job interview on Friday. I told them I can't make it and asked for interview to be changed to another date.

The caller told me it is OK, she will still send out the interview invitation for Friday as they have another candidate to interview on Friday. It is OK if I don't turn up. They will change the interview date if the other candidate rejects!

This is the first time I encounter something like this after working close to 25 years. Is this how government agency set up interview? It is so unprofessional! I am not going to reply their email as it is clear that it is a waste time.

CNY is near

oucheev — Wed, 09 Jan 2019 10:36:44 +0800

Only in Malaysia

CNY Deco

oucheev — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 15:36:33 +0800

New year is over. Chrismas deco at all shopping complexes will go down soon and replace by CNY deco. Do you think we will see any piggy deco in our shopping complexes?

I looked at the red CNY T-shirts being sold by some shops like Tesco and Giant and unlike previous year, you don't see and piggy T-shirts at all. All the red T-shirts this year is about reunion dinner or 12 zodiac. Even the Tutu, CNY mascot from Astro does not really look like piggy except the nose. Have not seen 8TV/NTV CNY mascot yet. Usually they will compete with Astro.

Who is he?

oucheev — Tue, 04 Dec 2018 09:42:48 +0800

Ladies, if he:-

1) answers your call on time
2) always make time for your
3) sanggup redah hujan for you
4) send you food bila you craving something
5) always be there for you bila you lapar

He's not your man, he's abang delivery!

Advised needed on subsale property

oucheev — Mon, 19 Nov 2018 10:09:49 +0800

Hi Guys

I placed a 3% booking for a freehold subsale condo at Cyberjaya in early Oct 2018. The Agent told me it will take around 3 to 6 months for the transfer to conclude. I was only informed by the lawyers when I was about to sign the S&P that the developer have not authorised a direct transfer because the property is undergoing strata title transfer. Instead of 4 to 6 months it will now take about a year for the whole transfer to conclude as it will need to go get permission from state authority twice. The issue I had is that the Agent did not inform me that the property is undergoing strata title transfer. He claim the owner did not inform him. The worst thing is the the Agent have banked-in the booking fee into the property agent company.

Because of the delay, I refused to sign the S&P but the lawyers keep urging me to sign. I've looked at the Letter of Offer to Purchase and found the following clauses:-

1) S&P must be signed within 21 working days from the date of acceptance of the offer. It is now more than 21 days.
- If it's due to purchaser (me), consequence is the purchaser deposit shall be forfeited
- If it's due to vendor (owner), he shall refund the deposit to purchaser (me) + a sum equivalent to the deposit being liquidated damages
2) In the event that the title for any reason whatsoever cannot be transferred to the purchaser (me), the vendor shall refund the deposit.

My question is what should I do?

1) Can I ask for refund of deposit since the title can't be transferred to me now?
2) Can I also asked for liquidated damages as I will still need to pay the lawyers (both S&P & loan agreement lawyers)

OR

3) Should I sign the S&P and bank loan agreement now and hope that everything can kautim within a year? The lawyers and Agent say I should sign the S&P but I don't think this is fair to me as this was not what I originally agreed and I am worried about waiting for a year.

Callgirl, Girlfriend & Wife

oucheev — Thu, 08 Nov 2018 14:17:53 +0800

During a sex education class, a teacher asked "Tell me the difference between a callgirl, girlfriend and wife".

The whole class was silent until Little Johnny put up his hand and answered "Prepaid, Postpaid and Unlimited".

Don’t drive too fast

oucheev — Tue, 30 Oct 2018 16:54:34 +0800

Now you all know why!

The Gifted

oucheev — Thu, 25 Oct 2018 15:49:14 +0800

Anyone watch this series? Just watched season 1 recently. It's a cheaper version of X-Men and the storyline is nothing to shout about. I am watching just because of Natalie Alyn Lind. First time noticed her when she appear in Gotham as young Bruce Wayne crush. At that time I think she's still developing but already very visible but I forgot about her because don't want to be pedobear. I think she is potential Daddario 2.0. Just like Dadario when she started in those Percy Jackson movies. Now after watching The Gifted, she really all grown up. All the other ladies in the series loose to her. When she is in a scene with Jamie Chung, it is very clear Chinese genes loose badly. Whenever she's in a scene, it's damn distraction!

Luxembourg Offshore Banking

oucheev — Mon, 22 Oct 2018 14:19:42 +0800

Anyone heard of this before? Putting $$$ in so-called offshore banks and earn 10% to 20% returns. I just received a call from Singapore. First time get such calls from Singapore and the English was quite good. They say they are collaborating with Maybank, CIMB & Public Bank and news about them are reported in Bernama.