Lowyat.NET: Latest topics by redracer2004

Belittling Your Partner - Healthy or Condescending

redracer2004 — Fri, 02 Jan 2026 09:31:42 +0800

Now, I wanna talk about 1 interesting topic which is belittling your partner.

I seen my friend kena the wife saying loudly in front of us "Don't nerd always see pretty or not. See this guy, totally not handsome but I chose to marry him."

They just married mind you guys.

Do you think these banter are healthy?

Employers preference nowadays for immediate start?

redracer2004 — Fri, 12 Dec 2025 00:31:31 +0800

Ok, I have recently seen many people today actually resign first and find the next job later. And apparently, employers prefer these people who can start earlier than those needing to serve notice period.

One company I was at literally said to hire the one that can earliest join even if the more suitable one is able to join probably few weeks later? I don't rmb that company being so desperate for staffs but the management did tell me that this is the new norm.

What do you guys think?

Medical / Insurance Claim Questions

redracer2004 — Fri, 28 Nov 2025 17:14:13 +0800

OK, assuming there's a company where the offer letter / contract says must be 9 to 6 at office.
But the department heads are setting some leeways like giving staffs coming in to work on rotation (not stipulated in the offer letter and when I asked HR, they said it's based on department head's policy).

Now my question is, will this arrangement affect any insurance or medical claims when it is needed? Let's say you injured yourself during duty time but it's not your rotation and you at home, can still claim insurance from the company? I heard macam cannot.

Hope got otais here to enlighten me. Thanks

Culture Differences and struggles of a 40 year old

redracer2004 — Fri, 31 Oct 2025 10:01:44 +0800

I recently moved to a new job with about the same role, but I feel the culture of the new place is hard for me to adopt.

1. My previous role was a 8 to 5 one with clock in and clock out with weekends totally no disturbance. I was in it for 10 years.

2. The new place practices a flexi and no clock in or clock out but the other people work till late at nights (12am still receiving emails and sometimes as early as 7am,il I get emails too) and also weekends they remotely work and I receive emails as well. It's giving me anxiety as to when another email might suddenly come.

I don't feel the salary jump is worth it.

I just started for about a month plus, so any advice? Should I like ask management about it? And the perks seems to be a little lesser than my previous company.

Why are my peers finding my tastes strange?

redracer2004 — Thu, 09 Oct 2025 12:40:30 +0800

I read the other thread about dating younger men.

I am 40 this year and as most of you might know, I am divorced.

I do get attracted mainly to women in 20s and early 30s.

However my peers are calling me weird.

My mom keep asking if I and a 24 year old girl can be compatible or not.

My best friend keep telling me it is an anomaly to have a 20+ girl date a 40 year old guy.

I don't find my whole taste a problem but seems like my peers are making me doubt my choices.

Why can't a 40 year old man date 20+ women?

Unofficial Termination due to accident

redracer2004 — Wed, 01 Oct 2025 13:47:05 +0800

I heard from a friend that he had a cousin who recently got silently / unofficially terminated because by his new company because he couldn't report to work due to him being involved in an accident.

After like joining for 1 week+ and he was on his way to work, he was involved in a quite major road accident and he is still recovering. He can't really talk or move for 1 week. The family did inform the company HR and his superior and they all just gave words of encouragement like "Hope he recovers soon" "Get Well soon".

Since he joined in the middle of the month, he was supposed to receive salary (1/2 month) by end of the month (31st August) but the wife checked his account until 7th Sept, no salary was in. So she called the company, the superior said that they decided to terminate him due to breach of contract (unable to show up for work as there's a major project due) and that they have to wait for him to recover so he can get him to sign on the termination notice. The wife was very furious, wanted to go to Labour Court and sue but the person's mother is advising against it since they do not value him already, no point to sue for that half month.

Is this actually doable?

Can report for dishonesty?

redracer2004 — Sat, 02 Aug 2025 09:57:11 +0800

My friend recently booked a hotel in another state for a 3 days 2 nights holiday with the gf.
The hotel booking done in Agoda clearly stated there is breakfast buffet included.

So, when he went to the trip and checked in the hotel, he saw the hotel cafeteria was in renovation mode, so he asked the concierge. The concierge told him that for now, the hotel cafeteria is in renovation and they are not serving any breakfast. He got angry and raised his voice until the concierge called the manager.

The manager on the line told my friend that he needs to calm down and nothing he can do because it's renovation, it's not they sengaja not provide. The manager also said he already updated to those 3rd party booking apps like Agoda all that no breakfast for these 3 months but they didn't take it down. Salah they not update their system not the hotel for doing renovation.

My friend was very unhappy and wanting to go to KPDKKN but he wanna know if he is now complaining about Agoda or complaining about the hotel?

The Senior and Junior Strange Situations

redracer2004 — Sat, 19 Jul 2025 09:19:04 +0800

OK story is simple:

A is a colleague from another department but I know him well.
He told me of a story he only dares to tell me now after nearly 3.5 years it happened.

A is a 40+ year old male (3.5 years back was late 30s).
New junior joined his department under his supervision, let's call her B and she was early 20s when she joined.
When B joined in, B immediately clicked with A and they talked / chatted a lot whether on IG or Whatsapp.
At first A was supposed to evaluate B's performance in her first 3 years so he thought B was just trying to get in good shoes so she chatted with him.
B has a bf but she illustrated to A as "not a confirmed relationship" even though it has been going on for nearly 2 years (at the beginning).

But somehow B can tell anything to A without any judgement or prejudice. Like her own stuffs, her family stuffs, even her relationship, her goals, her dreams etc.

After they chatted continuously for nearly 2.5 years, suddenly she broke off with the bf saying she had to do it.

At that point A tried to ask her out and all that but to no avail. She said she feels comfortable with the way they both are and doesn't see a need to elevate this "relationship".
That was also when she just got out of a major depression where she needed to take sleeping pills to sleep.
But somehow after rejection, she still keeps finding A even when A has now already changed department to my department.

I wonder sometimes, why women do this. I know she not interested but why she keeps finding A still when she already rejected him?

Redundancy vs Retrenchment

redracer2004 — Fri, 18 Jul 2025 10:04:08 +0800

OK, what's the main difference between redundancy and retrenchment?

And say if a company wants to close down a department for non-profit making, would there be any ways a company can escape paying the additional compensation to the laid off workers? Say a worker has been in 15 years in that dept got laid off.

Bond but something happened

redracer2004 — Fri, 04 Jul 2025 09:00:23 +0800

Heard from an ex colleague that his place had something funny happen:

January 2025 - Forced staffs of Dept A to go for a 3 months short certification course and the staffs will keep the certs to themselves BUT they are bonded for 1 year for the cost of the training.

July 2025 - Due to corporate buy out by another group, Dept A is deemed not required and had to be reassigned. All staffs from Dept A had 2 OPTIONS:

1. Take the redundancy package and leave but they must minus off the balance 6 months of bonding costs immediately before they can leave. The cost is nearly RM7,000 and some staffs are struggling to dish out RM7k immediately. They do not accept contra from the redundancy, must pay this balance only can proceed with the redundancy.

2. Reassigned to whatever post the company deems required by the company. Manager even mentioned in a sarcastic manner that it may be of no surprise that some of them might become cleaners or tea ladies.

I mean for item 1, is this actually legal? Because the bond is with the old management, the old management wants it repaid before handing over to the new management if redundancy is to occur. Also, they briefly mentioned that majority choice holds, meaning if most Dept A staffs choose for redundancy, all of Dept A will be going for redundancy regardless of personal choice.

Not completing Ad Hoc Items before leaving

redracer2004 — Tue, 10 Jun 2025 09:54:41 +0800

OK, I have heard some weird news from one company.

They gave their staffs 3 months notice but still cannot hire somebody to do.

Then from their Exit Audit checklist, suddenly bosses can ask them to do something which is not required now but want it done so that the new person comes in, don't need to rush.

I wonder right, if the person really cannot finish the ad hoc items on time, does the company have a right to keep the staff and not allow him/her to leave?

You all think got free toll on next Mon and Tues?

redracer2004 — Tue, 21 Jan 2025 10:03:40 +0800

You think govt will give?

Do you believe fate is fixated?

redracer2004 — Tue, 21 Jan 2025 09:59:39 +0800

OK, I know Hollywood has been killing a lot of our brain cells but I can see these been talked about and replicated in K Dramas also.

Say you were destined / fated to be with someone, the shows / dramas / movies will always say that no matter what choices you make in life, you will end up with him/her like THE ONE.

Do you agree to this saying? Or do you guys think that if you are destined to someone but you missed the boat, you will forever miss it?

A few mind boggling questions about women

redracer2004 — Mon, 16 Dec 2024 10:20:59 +0800

OK, I have a few mind boggling questions to ask regarding women / female etc.

1. Is it true that females normally see attraction as like the initial impression? Like if a lady / girl / woman sees a guy on the first look will determine if she is / will be interested with the guy? And is it true that if the female doesn't seem attracted in the beginning, no matter what the guy does at the end, it doesn't change much?

2. How do we know what a girl really mean when they say something. Like when a girl tells you she just want to be friends, there could be 2 directions here:
i) she feels she needs to know the guy more so she keeping the guy in check (some people told me but I am not sure)
ii) she really just sees the guy as a friend, nothing more

3. When you as a guy feels attraction and like really feel there's a connection but the girl is acting differently, is it you as a guy who thought too much? Cause I realise on my end, when i feel there's a connection, the girl will suddenly act not interested. What is this phenomena?

Breaking Up / Calling it off because of red flags

redracer2004 — Sat, 30 Nov 2024 13:54:29 +0800

OK, I see got many sifus here to ask this, so let's see what you guys think.

Recently I read a story on FB that explained something like this:

"A guy dated a girl he met at work for like 3 months and suddenly he asked for breakup. His reason for break up is that from the beginning he already stated he never liked smokers or a girl who smokes but the girl smokes. Not just smoke but smoking behind his back because she knows he doesn't like smoking.

The girl ranted that the guy did not give time for her to slowly drop off the habit. She said she was trying very hard to try and quit smoking but due to the stress present around her and her peers also keep smoking, she couldn't stop. (Konon la). She said she asked the guy for at least 1 year for her to stop smoking but the guy wasn't buying that.

She said the guy was being shallow as smoking is not something detrimental to a relationship like infidelity so she was ranting about why the guy broke off with her. "

Now, my question is, do you guys think that what the girl said is agreeable? And also, if you find a very common trait (like princess behaviour etc) which is common for most women, will you drop / break up with her because of this?

Rainy season and flood

redracer2004 — Sat, 30 Nov 2024 10:44:22 +0800

Is this the end of the road for us?

What went wrong?

redracer2004 — Thu, 07 Nov 2024 08:36:56 +0800

OK to cut story short.

First, I am a guy that has been looking for a partner through multiple platforms whether dating apps or real life meeting people etc.

This is a very common occurrence for me (it happened like 5-6 times out of the 8 girls that peeked my interest) where at first when we know each other, the conversation, the texting is very smooth, we both were very participative in our communication where I will ask her preferences, she will ask me back etc.

This could last like maybe days or a week or two.

Then suddenly the momentum changed, she started to not read / reply (not sure if she read cause she has blue tick off) and for the first 1 or 2, I did try and double text and the reply that came are very dry. Those after that which I did not push on never replied me after, even those that we actually bump to each other for real made it like nothing happened.

What the heck actually happened here though? I feel quite frustrated with this kind of behaviour like, if you didn't intend to like even be friends, why string me along?

Also, I think even at my age and my so many failed experiences atm, I do not know if the girl is really vibing with me or she just being friendly. Though, it doesn't make much sense for both to suddenly ghost me like this, so I wonder what went wrong.

NOTE: I was just playing along the conversation and did not show any signs of desperation or aggression before they ghosted me and the conversations were very smooth.

Annual leave for festivities

redracer2004 — Thu, 31 Oct 2024 11:11:01 +0800

Well, I saw a colleague, she is Indian and she took leave for tomorrow and Monday for Deepavali. She already took the leave like 1 month ago and discussed with the boss, the boss was ok.

During this one month, her section / department had one person resigning and that resignee was the only chinese person working there.

The others are all Malay and Indian. This colleague who took leave was the newest (less than 1 year but already confirmed) so the boss messaged her this morning asking her to come back to work on Friday because nobody is around to work.

He said he has asked HR to cancel off the leave (due to reasons of insufficient manpower) and the HR already did it, so her leave for Friday and Monday were cancelled yesterday without prior discussion with her.

She then asked why can't ask the others to come back since there are 4 more other staffs, 3 Malays and 1 Indian? The boss said they are older and longer staffs here so she needs to respect their seniority.

She is the newest here so she needs to like give in to the older and more senior staffs.

How should she approach this since she already back at her hometown in Johor since yesterday night?

Fundamental Differences - Opposites

redracer2004 — Fri, 25 Oct 2024 15:39:54 +0800

OK my question here is very simple.

Part A - Would you date someone who is fundamentally opposite than you? Like if you are not a gym rat but she is. Or if you are a travelling person but she doesn't like to go around.

Part B - If you would date that person, how would you solve that fundamental difference? Would you try to include the person in your world or you two go off doing separate things sometimes and do some things together?

Nasi Lemak Preference

redracer2004 — Wed, 23 Oct 2024 13:07:09 +0800

Hi guys, I wonder what's your preference for Nasi Lemak on the part of Ikan Bilis...