The downfall? Or the end? I'm lost.

Sweetie89 — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 00:22:53 +0800

I loved him, and it lasted for 2.5 years. And the passion is still hot with me. But in his case, I'm doubting bout it. . .

He flirts. He flirts with my friend, my classmate, or perhaps there's more that I dont know.

He never wanted to share his thought with me where else he is sharing everything in his mind with other girls.
He even opened several MSN account to keep me tracking on his 'sharing session' with these girls.

He doing things behind me, without declaring and informing until I find out.
- He finds chicks via Facebook and Friendster.
- He request for self intro and number from random girls. Sometimes even offer to have a meet up.
- He declares himself as 'single and available' in the forum and showing his desperation on finding dates in forum.
- He clubs with forum mates without informing me and when I found out bout it, he opened another account in forum to continue the same shit.

He refuse to admit things that I found out, and asking for evidence to prove it.
Well, he may escape from being accused but he lost my trust and confidence towards him.

In MSN, he flirts with my classmate.
This happens in MSN and may sound funny. He's been flirting with my classmate with account A. And when I found out bout that, he offers to prove his sincerity towards me by using account B and abandon account A. (Which he so called start over again) When the girl added him on account B, he rejected her in front of me. On the other hand, he added the girl again with account C to find out why she add him in account B. (Ridiculous right?)
To that girl,
- He puts me in lower priority since they started their indirect relationship.
- He keeps low profile towards the girl during lesson time. They may not have face to face conversation but on msn and phone. That's lots of adventure undergoing.
- He offers to guide her on driving.
- He offers to call her whenever she needs him.
- He declares to her that there will be possibility on he falling on her. And claims that even I found out I cant do anything either.

Okay, put that classmate aside. There's another girl here.
- He admits that he fallen to that girl.
- He says that I been scolding him too much when comparing to this girl.
- He says that this girl is treating him much gentle and soft comparing to me.
- When he admits that, he requested for a week of 'cool down' period to choose within me and the girl. He promised to forget bout her after chosen me. (Am I suppose to be happy with that?)
- This girl is in his all 3 MSN account.
- He often MMS and SMS to this girl asking bout PC stuff but yet the girl doesnt know anything bout PC stuff. (Another ridiculous one)

He loves PC stuff. He's crazy bout it and keep in upgrading it time to time.
I did not have any comments when he invest a lot in his toys.
But when he's out of money, he will show me black face.
Because of his PC stuff, he chase me out of his house.
When we argue, he will refuse to solve the conflict by dropping the call.
When the quarrel goes hot, he turns reckless and doing violently towards me.
When I cry, leaving me alone will be the best solution for him. No matter whose fault it is. He will never please me.

Do you heard of man becomes werewolf when the moon appeared? Well, he does the same thing too. He says that he will turn to another guy when he is in front of PC and will begin to chat with any girls 'unintentionally'. (Lame uh?)

When he promise to find me. Probably will end up like this:
- He not punctual and late for about 2 hours.
- He will choose not to come without informing me. (Even I waiting to have meal with him)
- When I telling him that I'm starving, he will scold me for not eating at home while waiting.

When I complain bout his changes in attitude, he putting all the blames on me. Saying that my bad attitude changed him. I goes speechless right away.

Okay, right now, I need a mirror.
Am I over sensitive?
Am I over demanding?
Am I over restricting him?
Am expecting too much from a guy?
Is this relationship worth to move on? (In long term)
Does he loved me? Or just relying on me?
Is he taken me for granted?

I've forgive the unforgiven over and over again. I always wanted to discuss our problem and it always ended up he avoided it. And by now the issue is getting more and more. The conflict goes deeper and deeper. Frankly speaking, it has reach to the stage where I think it is unsolvable anymore.
I loved him, but. . .
What should I do?

God, I need strength. Please lead me to the decent pathway~

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The downfall? Or the end? I'm lost.