Lowyat.NET: Latest topics by Mackenzie

4 kebenaran wanita

Mackenzie — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 19:58:28 +0800

4 keistimewaan wanita :

1. Berdarah tiap bulan tapi tak mati.

2. Hidangkan susu segar tanpa perlu ke kedai.

3. Keraskan hotdog tanpa peti sejuk.

4. x mati mahupun sakit bila ditikam.

...Enjoy yea....quite funny n quite logic...LOL....~ ♥ ^..^ ♥

listen to this one :p

Mackenzie — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 22:30:39 +0800

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuVxOqoML4c

change name

Mackenzie — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 15:19:35 +0800

How can i change my name on this forum?

Mistaken Identity

Mackenzie — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 21:20:07 +0800

Mistaken Identity

A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near-death experience. During that experience she sees God and asks if this is it. God says no and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live.

Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, and a tummy tuck. She even has someone come in and change her hair colour. She figures that since she’s got another 30 or 40 years she might as well make the most of it.

She walks out the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital.

She arrives in front of God again and asks, “I thought you said I had another 30-40 years?”

God replies, “Sorry, I didn’t recognize you.”

Last Day on the Job

Mackenzie — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 21:02:38 +0800

Last Day on the Job

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee.

She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast, eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh squeezed orange juice.

When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."

He said, "f*** him, give him a dollar."

The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."

[addedon]April 18, 2009, 9:05 pm[/addedon]Poor guy

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

What is politics?

Mackenzie — Sun, 11 May 2008 20:51:13 +0800

( from the point of view of a 9 years old boy) ^^

Message: Sebuah keluarga dari golongan pertengahan, dimana suami dan isteri bekerja. Mereka mempunyai dua orang anak. Seorang lelaki berusia 9 tahun dan seorang perempuan berusia setahun. Segala urusan rumah di kendalikan oleh seorang pembantu rumah Indonesia .

Pada suatu malam, ketika sedang makan malam sekeluarga, si anak sulung yang berusia 9 tahun itu bertanya pada si ayah, "Ayah, apa itu politik?". Tersedak si ayah mendengar persoalan anaknya itu. Jawab ayah, "Politikitu macam keluarga kita. Ayah dapatkan wang untuk keluarga kita, ayah adalah kapitalis, Mama gunakan wang itu untuk menguruskan keluarga kita, jadi mama adalah kerajaan. Kakak pembantu rumah kita adalah golongan pekerja. Kamu adalah rakyat dan adik kamu adalah generasi masa depan. Faham? Kelipok-kelipok mata si anak kejam celik.

Memang tidak faham. Lantas si ibu mencelah, "Tak apa, malam ini waktu hendak tidur, kamu fikirkan apa yang ayah cakap dan cuba faham okay. Jadi semalaman si anak berusia 9 tahun itu tidak dapat lelapkan matanya berfikir tentang politik. Sehingga akhir sekali dia menjadi jemu dan hampir terlelap. Pada waktu itulah, si adik buat perangai.Meraung tengah-tengah malam pulak. Si anak itu pergi ke bilik ibu dan ayahnya hendak memberitahu bahawa adiknya yang bernama Abdullah itu sedang meraung kerana pampersnya sudah penuh najis.

Sampai di bilik dia lihat si ibu sedang lena tidur. Walau berkali-kali dipanggil, si ibu tetap tidur. Di lihat si ayah pula tiada di sebelah ibu. Jemu mengejutkan ibu yang tak bangun-bangun, dia mengambil keputusan ke bilik pembantu rumah. Bila dibuka bilik pembantu rumah, dia lihat si ayah sedang 'bermain' dengan si pembantu Indonesia itu.
Akhir sekali si anak terpaksa menyalin pampers adiknya sendiri.

Sewaktu bersarapan esok pagi, si ayah bertanya, "Dah faham apa itu politik?. Si anak yang sedang selera makan selamba menjawab, "Dah!". Siayah dan ibu terkejut dengan jawapan selamba itu. Lantas si ibu mencelah, "jadi apa dia politik tu?". Si anak tanpa mengangkat muka melihat ayah dan ibunya, dengan tenang menjawab. "sewaktu kerajaan sedang asyik tidur, golongan kapitalis menodai golongan pekerja. Akibatnya rakyat di abaikan dan masa depan bergelumang najis! Itulah politik".

is it normal?

Mackenzie — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 01:10:14 +0800

Is it normal if your boyfriend asked you to have oral sex with him?