Lowyat.NET: Latest topics by nihility

What Returns, Until It Is Understood

nihility — Sun, 12 Apr 2026 20:36:40 +0800

Prologue: Bird, Fish & Lotus

These three images hold no direct connection.
Each arises from its own separate incident.

The only similarity—
they are all living beings.

It Began With Intention

nihility — Sun, 08 Feb 2026 23:19:56 +0800

These were 2 Musang King graft, bought by me almost 10 years ago. These gratings were planted to the ground on 11 September 2016, with an intention to demonstrate something to myself.

Yet as the time passed, some unexpected observations arises. These were the photos on the growth of the tree over the years. The tree successfully bear the fruits last year.

I recalled the yesteryears generation teaching - be observant, the answer will be revealed in the form of pattern from our surrounding. This very photo showed the low hanging fruits within my reach.

Probably there are some of them are like the low hanging fruits - waiting to compare their observations with the others.

Household as School

nihility — Fri, 26 Sep 2025 12:56:25 +0800

Children are not born alike, and neither are parents. Some are gifted, some steady, some slow. Each carries a weakness that may become downfall, but also a strength that can be harnessed. A wise household does not deny these natures but learns how to match them.

“Children are not alike in their endowments. The wise parent observes first their strengths and weaknesses, then guides accordingly, lest pride, discouragement, or despair take root.”

The gifted child is quick, sharp, and imaginative. Their danger is pride, but their strength is vision — they can see patterns others miss. The average child is steady, patient, and reliable. Their danger is discouragement, but their strength is persistence — they finish what they begin. The slow child struggles to keep pace, but their strength is sincerity — when trusted, they remain loyal, grounded, and true.

The gifted parent is intelligent and decisive. Their danger is impatience, but their strength is clarity — they cut through confusion and see the road ahead. The average parent is steady and dependable. Their danger is self-doubt, but their strength is reliability — they show up each day without fail. The slow parent is gentle and earnest. Their danger is withdrawal, but their strength is presence — they embody patience, and their sincerity leaves a lasting mark.

“What the child imitates most is not the words of the parent, but the conduct of the parent. One who scolds while failing to act rightly only teaches rebellion.”

When these three meet, nine mirrors are formed. Each reveals how weakness can destroy, and how strength can build.

Gifted Parent × Gifted Child
Clarity meets brilliance. Together they can achieve great things, but arrogance doubled becomes tyranny. The child will feel crushed if the parent demands perfection. The cure is humility — the parent must admit mistakes, so the child learns that wisdom bows before truth. When guided with patience, such a pair becomes innovators, lighting the way for others.

Gifted Parent × Average Child
Clarity meets steadiness. The child will feel small beside a sharp parent, tempted to give up. Yet the parent’s decisiveness can teach the child systems, and the child’s steadiness can soften the parent’s pride. If both recognize this balance, the household gains both vision and endurance.

Gifted Parent × Slow Child
Clarity meets sincerity. Here lies the greatest risk: the child may be scorned, the parent may withdraw in frustration. But if the parent bends low and teaches gently, the slow child’s loyalty and patience will root the parent’s brilliance, giving it depth and compassion.

“If a child is slow in learning, the remedy is not harshness but constancy. To force beyond their measure is to break them; to guide with patience is to preserve them.”

Average Parent × Gifted Child
Reliability meets brilliance. The parent may feel overshadowed, but steadiness is exactly what anchors a sharp child who leaps too fast. If the parent holds firm and insists on routine, the gifted child learns discipline without losing imagination.

Average Parent × Average Child
Reliability meets persistence. Here lies quiet strength — neither dazzling, but both dependable. The risk is mediocrity, settling for “good enough.” But if encouraged, this pairing builds households that last: unshaken by storms, quietly shaping children who can be trusted with responsibility.

Average Parent × Slow Child
Reliability meets sincerity. The child may feel discouraged, and the parent may tire of repeating lessons. But the parent’s constancy is exactly what shields the child’s dignity. If the parent holds faith, the child will blossom later, slowly but surely, like a tree that takes longer to bear fruit yet lives longest.

Slow Parent × Gifted Child
Presence meets brilliance. The child may outpace the parent, growing arrogant. But sincerity grounds cleverness. A slow parent who shows honesty in daily life gives the gifted child what brilliance alone cannot: a heart that respects truth and people.

Slow Parent × Average Child
Presence meets persistence. This pairing looks unremarkable, but its hidden strength is warmth. The parent’s gentleness teaches the child that constancy is not cold duty, but living care. Together they build a foundation others overlook, but which proves unshakable.

Slow Parent × Slow Child
Presence meets sincerity. The danger is stagnation, both withdrawing into smallness. But if even one cultivates virtue, their simplicity becomes luminous. Honest work, honest words, a house where no one pretends — this is a strength others secretly envy.

~

“To raise a child is easy; to teach a child is hard. The one who gives birth is not to be praised as much as the one who guides.”

The nine mirrors reveal one truth: no parent and no child is doomed by their type. Pride can be softened, discouragement lifted, despair healed. What matters is whether strength is drawn out instead of weakness repeated.

“Education is like planting trees. In the morning you cannot see growth, but in the years to come, the shade is for all to rest beneath.”

The gifted bring vision, the average bring steadiness, the slow bring sincerity. Parents and children alike must see themselves clearly — for blindness breeds repetition, but awareness opens the path to growth. And so the household becomes not only a place of survival, but a school of character, where both parent and child are students, and each reflection corrects the other.

Outsourcing Ourselves

nihility — Mon, 02 Jun 2025 22:54:35 +0800

There was a time when the word “outsource” didn’t exist in everyday life.

Back then, everything was done in-house — literally.
You built your own home, with help from neighbors.
You planted your own food.
Meals were made at home.
Laundry and cleaning — handled by the family.
Religious rituals? Prepared and performed personally.
Clothes? Bought fabric and made them yourself.

The economy was simple. So was the rhythm of life.
But here’s what most people miss:
That simplicity created connection.

Doing things together meant spending time together.
That time wasn’t wasted — it built relationships.
The more you worked with someone, the more you understood them.
Strengths. Flaws. Personality.
You didn’t need therapy to build bonds — you just needed shared work.

Fast forward to today:

You want a house? Buy from a developer.
Need food? Supermarket or GrabFood.
Cooking? Cafés and restaurants.
Cleaning? Hire a maid or contract a cleaner.
Festivals or prayers? Swipe a few times — someone else will do it for you.
Clothing? Fast fashion, ready-made.

Modern life is optimized for convenience.
But in the process, something fundamental got traded away:
Time with people.

The irony?
We outsource to “gain” time — but that gained time gets reinvested into work, hustle, income.
Which leads to more outsourcing.

We think we’re being efficient.
What we’re actually doing is quietly removing human interaction from our lives.
Family becomes a chat group.
Relationships become logistics.
Togetherness becomes optional.

And here’s the wake-up call:

You can’t outsource connection.
You can’t buy real bonding from a third-party service.
You can’t swipe your way into closeness.

“Those who were good without being taught belonged to ancient times. Today, goodness must come through teaching.” — Xunzi (荀子)

Xunzi understood long ago: virtue isn’t automatic.
It comes from habit, environment, and repeated effort — things we used to build through shared daily life.

But we’ve outsourced the very training ground of character.

You don’t need to quit outsourcing.
But you do need to draw a line.

Outsource tasks — not relationships.
Delegate work — not the rituals that define your family.
Buy time — but use it to be present.

Because once the fabric of shared life disappears,
what’s left is just people living next to each other — not with each other.

And no, this isn’t about being “traditional” or “poor.”
It’s about being intentional.

Outsource with awareness.
Or risk becoming a stranger to your own life.

Rice Dumpling & Wubo-Wubo Session

nihility — Wed, 28 May 2025 19:06:02 +0800

“Duan Wu Jie” (端午节) is arriving at the end of this month. When Duan Wu Jie arrives, the rice dumpling will be the food that will cultural delicacy that will bring back the old memories of the past. In the past, I recalled I used to help my grandparent & parent to wrap the rice dumpling together with my siblings and cousins of a similar age. Taking care of the fire of the open stove using the rubber woods will be standard chores assigned to the kids. The wait for the rice dumpling to be cooked was a hell of a wait. Usually 4~6 hours with the constant water topping up. It was a tedious task, but we had ample time to play with the siblings and cousins (maybe our time during that time was not so valuable , maybe).

With the wave of modernization, soon the open stove with the traditional firewood was replaced with the pressurized gas stove with a pressure cooker. The wait for the cooking has been reduced drastically from 6 hours to only 2 hours. How convenient our modern life has become. 6 hours reduces to 2 hours due to technology advancement, but do we gain from the 4 hours of time saved? Something to ponder.

2 days ago, I went back for a surprise visit for my mom, since she said she would be preparing the rice dumpling. She called me earlier asking if I'll be back the coming weekend—I was thinking, "We just celebrated the Mother's Day celebration last week; are we still going back this week ?" Actually, the honest answer within me was I'm uncertain; hence, I told her I couldn't make it. My mom knew well, but she just wanted to ask even though she knew the answer. Sometimes you know our parents, they know certain answers, they know certain things have been repeated, yet they will still repeat or ask again.

In the past, I may get agitated & stressed out, and I'll say to my mom, "Mom, you just said that—the same topic , the same repeated wet market story, the same repeated weather story, the same repeated wubo-wubo (无补无补, aka “no point” small talk) stories, etc." I'll ignore my mom in the past and get angry that she is wasting my time—I have so much to think about in my head; where the hell do I get time for such "wubo-wubo" stuff?

Until recently, I think I had been very wrong for such treatment of my old people. I'm so, so wrong. Our parents' perception is limited, and it is not their fault. The wubo-wubo (in Hokkien) is their way to get close to their children. That is their world; that's their way to initiate conversation with their children—that's the only topic they are familiar with. How can I expect them to talk to me on science and technology matters that they have no knowledge of at all?! I just need to reflect and lower my lens to reach their world—to let them in. They just wanted to reconnect with their children. After that sudden realization, I no longer brush them off on the wubo-wubo topic.

I notice a lot of my peers' parents are leaving to another world, us one by one. Once their parent was no longer alive, they posted their regret on social media and grieved. For what doing a thing? I asked. Why not treat them well when they're alive? Yet, I'll need to thank them for the lesson they gave from their life to awaken me, that my parents' time is running out & I need to treasure them while I still can. To spare some wubo-wubo time with my parents is not something luxurious or out of my reach; it is within my reach—I only need my willingness. Hence, I decided to change the way to deal with such wubo-wubo interaction ever since.

I told my mom earlier I couldn't make it, but I decided to take a detour from my trip town just to give her a surprise visit in 2 days. I reached my parents' house in the evening in the hope that I would not be late to join the wrapping session. Mana tau, my neighbor came and helped my mom wrap, and they got everything completed in the morning. By the time I arrived, the rice dumpling was already cooked & ready. I feel I missed out on the bonding experience offered by the cultural event—an opportunity that fosters a proprietary sense of culture, as emphasized in my ancestors’ Confucian teachings.

Even though I was late to join the dumpling-wrapping session, the facial expression given by my mother hinted I'm not late to show that I care about her wubo-wubo request on whether I'll be coming back.

To anyone reading this:
Have you had these "wubo-wubo" moments with your parents? How do you handle them? Do you brush them off—or have you learned to listen a little more?

Harm within Goodness, Goodness within Harm

nihility — Tue, 27 May 2025 17:45:07 +0800

Chapter 3 of Liao-Fan’s Four Lessons discusses the topic of performing good deeds — and how what seems to be good can actually cause harm, while what doesn’t appear to be goodness may actually be an act of true virtue.

Many may not be able to discern such scenarios if we are assessing them with just the naked eye.

Learn to spot the similarities between events of the past and those happening in the present day, so that we are able to deal with such situations wisely — especially when dealing with our immediate family, relatives, and friends.

~
1. Observation of the Past: The Story — Zigong Ransoms a Slave (Harm within Goodness)

In the State of Lu, there was a law stating that if a citizen of Lu was enslaved in another state, anyone ransoming that citizen would be reimbursed by the Lu government.

At that time, Confucius had a very wealthy student named Zigong. He paid the ransom out of his own pocket to free a citizen of Lu but refused to accept the reimbursement, believing that his act was a moral duty and should not be compensated.

While many praised Zigong’s selflessness, Confucius was unhappy and reprimanded him. He said:

“Zigong, you did not do the right thing. When saints and sages undertake anything, they strive to improve social demeanour, teaching the common folk to be good and decent people. One should not act merely on personal feeling.

Your action, though virtuous, might discourage others from ransoming slaves if they cannot afford to do so without reimbursement. Accepting the compensation would not have diminished your virtue, but it would have encouraged more people to perform such benevolent acts.”

Confucius emphasized that the actions of individuals - especially those held in high esteem, can influence societal behavior. By refusing the reimbursement, Zigong might set a precedent that deters others from helping, fearing they must bear the full cost themselves.

This story highlights a key Confucian principle: the importance of considering the broader impact of one’s actions on society. Personal virtue is commendable, but it should also promote , not hinder communal well-being.

The above is a sample of a case where a good intention, done without discernment, led to a bad outcome - a case of harm within goodness.

~

2. Observation of the Past: Harriet Tubman – The Woman Who Carried a Gun to Free Her People (Goodness within Harm)

In the mid-1800s, during the brutal days of American slavery, a woman named Harriet Tubman made history. Born into slavery around 1822 in Maryland, she escaped to freedom in 1849 — but didn’t stop there.

Between 1850 and 1860, she returned to the South at least 13 times, risking her life to lead over 70 enslaved people to freedom through a secret network known as the Underground Railroad.

Yes, she carried a gun. And yes, she pointed it — not at the enemy, but at the very people she was rescuing. When someone froze in fear and wanted to turn back, she would whisper with firmness in her voice:

“You’ll be free — or you’ll die.”

To some, that sounds cruel. But she knew, if even one person turned back, they could lead the slave catchers straight to the rest. Everyone would be lost.

So she made the hard call. What looked like threatening someone — was actually saving them, and saving others. What looked like harm… was really goodness in a harder form.

~

With the two examples given above, give it a deeper think from today onwards:

Has our daily action or inaction , even when done with kind intentions , actually become the cause of harm?

Or, conversely, has our action or inaction , which may have seemed harsh or unpleasant, actually the cause of kindness?

A poem - shadow within light

nihility — Wed, 21 May 2025 10:37:37 +0800

中文：

光光光，人追光。
人人赞，光是光。
光中真，光中假，
真假中，眼看光。

追光者，追光吗？
跟光者，跟心吗？
为光来，为名吗？
光不说，人在夸。

月中光，水中光，
花中影，竹中香。
影不走，心不藏，
假若真，禮亦崩。

Literal Translation:

Light, light, light — and people chase the light.
Everyone praises: “Light is light.”
In light, there is truth; in light, there is falsehood.
In truth and falsehood, still — eyes seek the light.

Those who chase the light — do they truly seek it?
Those who follow the light — do they follow their heart?
Do they come for the light, or come for a name?
The light says nothing — yet people sing its praise.

Light in the moon, light on the water,
Shadow in flowers, fragrance in bamboo.
The shadow stays, the heart hides not.
If false becomes true — then Li too falls.

The Hidden Lesson in ‘The Boy Who Cried Wolf ‘

nihility — Sat, 03 May 2025 08:09:22 +0800

Human is an intelligent creature; there is no doubt about this observation. Whenever there is an incident of a lesson (bad outcome), humans will adjust their decision-making accordingly to prevent the similar from happening. Vice versa, whenever there is an incident of an example (good outcome), humans will adjust their decision-making accordingly in hope that the similar will happen again.

This is the law of nature as described in TTC Chapter 27:
“The good person is the teacher of the bad, and the bad person is the lesson for the good.”

Just take an example from the classical children’s story about the shepherd and the wolf. In the first incident, when the shepherd cried for help, the villagers acted swiftly without doubt and believed that another human being was in trouble. Out of pure empathy, the villagers did not hesitate to put aside their tasks and rush to aid the shepherd. It was an act of pure kindness (humans are kind by nature, as described by Mencius). However, when the villagers arrived at the scene and saw that there were no wolves—and were even laughed at by the shepherd for being “stupid” to fall for the prank—this is where the act of balancing started to kick in (response of nature). Some of the villagers, in dissatisfaction and anger, told the shepherd to stop being childish as everyone was busy earning a living. The villagers left the shepherd thereafter.

A few days later, the shepherd started another prank (second incident) by crying for help to fend off wolves attacking the sheep. The villagers again acted swiftly and believed he was in danger. Out of pure empathy, they again put aside their tasks and rushed to his aid. However, when they arrived and saw there were still no wolves, and were laughed at again by the shepherd, the feelings of anger and resentment grew stronger. The villagers left the shepherd thereafter.

A few days later, the shepherd cried for help again (third incident), claiming wolves were attacking the sheep. This time, the wolf attack was real, but the villagers no longer believed the shepherd, assuming he was wasting their time again. As a result, the sheep were devoured by the wolves. The shepherd suffered a major loss.

Normally, at the end of the story, the narrative highlights the lesson for children: “Don’t tell lies, or no one will believe you in the future.” That is the standard message repeated over the years.

What many people don’t notice is that within the “Boy Who Cried Wolf” story, there is a repeating pattern that mirrors life. It is the act of balancing, as per the Law of Nature.

I won’t go into details on other visible patterns I see, but I’ll zoom in on this specific aspect related to the above story:

It is about the exploitation of kindness. How do you overcome the psychological barrier—the fear that your kindness or empathy can be exploited?

Let me give you a few real-life case examples:

⸻

Case 1:
A good gentleman saw someone lying unconscious by the roadside. Out of kindness, he quickly approached to check on him. To his shock, the “unconscious” man was faking it—he sprang up and robbed the gentleman (worst case: the victim could have been killed or kidnapped). Such incidents have appeared in the news before.

⸻

Case 2:
At the airport, an elderly woman asked for help to watch her luggage while she went to the bathroom. Out of kindness, you agreed. After she left, suddenly narcotics police came and put you under arrest as a drug trafficking suspect. This type of trap has also appeared in news reports.

⸻

What I’m trying to point out is this:
Human beings are intelligent creatures who learn from past incidents.

Since even doing kindness can lead to serious trouble, some people start thinking:
Why not just take a neutral stand?

⸻

I’d like to hear your opinion on this, please.

Zuo Wang Meditation Question

nihility — Mon, 28 Apr 2025 11:54:39 +0800

During Zuo Wang meditation, I experienced a sensation of weightlessness, and the images in my mind appeared to invert. Is this a normal part of the process?

The Search for Missing "Ren" (仁) in the Modern Age

nihility — Tue, 22 Apr 2025 22:38:20 +0800

Nature observation ~ A lesson from a broken Samsung tablet incident

This observation came to me recently. Prior to my departure to another state for a work-related schedule over one week, the 3rd disciple came to me and reported that his electronic device (Samsung tablet) was almost broken. I was already aware of the 3rd disciple's intention and had prepared to get him a replacement device in the coming months, but I never revealed this to him—I wanted him to learn to be patient.

All this while, among all the fated disciples under my guidance, they were given their own device of choice (laptop, tablet, etc.) to familiarize themselves with the wave of digitalization in their generation. Each of them was given a personal device, as I feared it would be unfair if only a few were provided, and they were forced to share. I was worried they wouldn’t get quality exposure on their devices if asked to share. Furthermore, I feared that sharing might fuel dissatisfaction or feelings of unfairness among them.

Those were my initial worries. The dynamic among the disciples is generally good, but something seemed lacking. They were not as close or intimate as I remember being with my own siblings at that age. With the exception of the 1st and 2nd disciples (who are one year apart and share almost everything in life—school lessons, friends, clothing, etc.), the rest of the disciples seem mostly independent and detached. The concept of togetherness was missing.

A Beautiful Disruption

The day came for my departure. I was away for about one week. While I was gone, I remembered what the 3rd disciple had told me, and I had already purchased the replacement tablet. Upon my return, however, due to a busy schedule, I didn’t have a chance to speak directly with the 3rd disciple for the next three days. Yet, every time I came home, a magical scene caught my attention.

The 3rd and 4th disciples were sitting together on the couch, viewing something together. The 3rd disciple was using the 4th disciple’s iPad! Both of them were in harmony, happily sharing the device. In the past, this scene was impossible—almost every disciple would be focused solely on their own device. This beautiful, simple moment struck me deeply. I couldn't get it out of my mind. I silently asked myself: Have I been doing it wrong all along?

That night, I spoke with the 1st disciple, who revealed that while I was away, the 3rd disciple’s tablet finally broke. With no device of his own, he had no choice but to communicate and interact with the 4th disciple. Though the two had often clashed before, they managed to find a common ground. The 4th disciple agreed to share her device—on conditions. The 3rd would need to teach her something in return and let her observe the game he was playing. I paused in silence. A simple, beautiful exchange. The younger generation, it seems, was teaching the me instead. They were learning to co-exist with "Ren" (仁) within the household. Perhaps, all this while, I had misunderstood.

A Teacher’s Mistake?

In my effort to provide for them and prevent resource-related feelings of incompleteness, I worried that asking them to share would result in a sense of unfairness. I wanted to give them as much as possible, so they wouldn't experience what I had experienced growing up. Yet, with good intention, I inadvertently created a poor outcome. By giving them "completeness," I removed the opportunity for them to learn co-existence through sharing. They grew overly independent—too strong to need each other, and therefore, unable to learn how to interact and compromise. Without needing each other, they had little cause to negotiate, to make room for Ren. In effect, I robbed them of the environment where humaneness is cultivated. The negotiation between the 4th and 3rd disciples—offering the tablet with conditions—was an early exercise in striking a deal, learning balance, and developing empathy. That was "Ren" being born, not in textbooks, but in lived interaction.

Xunzi once said:
“The half-filled vessel is open to receive; the full vessel has no room to grow.”

In ancient wisdom, a half-filled vessel symbolizes a person humble and open to new learning. A full vessel, by contrast, represents someone who believes they are already complete—and thus rejects growth. This incident taught me a new application of the metaphor:

• A half-filled vessel is one whose needs create a bridge to another—they must learn to share, to negotiate, to connect.
• A full vessel is one who is self-sufficient and thus has no incentive to learn how to coexist. They live in completeness, but not in harmony.

Thus, when we remove all lack from a person’s life, we may also remove the environment where humaneness can take root. In striving to give them everything, I might have given them less.

“In what ways have I unintentionally prevented the cultivation of Ren by providing ‘too much’?"

As I reflect, I realize now that nurturing virtue may require creating spaces of incompletion—not to cause suffering, but to provide the soil in which empathy and connection grow.

After the incident, I chose not to give the new replacement tablet to the 3rd disciple right away. I’ll let them continue learning how to co-exist—learning the ancient value of "Ren" (仁)—in their own time, in their own way.

~

What is your thought of this observation?

General knowledge - Pondan Crab

nihility — Sun, 25 Jun 2023 22:42:45 +0800

Today just learnt a new knowledge from a pair of old uncle & auntie selling me the mud crabs. The female crabs are hard to get , usually the one available at the commercial market are selling male crabs. The pondan crab are even harder to get.

So when I”m about to pick the crabs, the old uncle said to me, this piece with the red bright claws you must take it. It is a “virgin” 🦀. I was like “ what, now they even categorise shellfish as virgin & non-virgin ?, it must be their marketing gimmick”. I entertained the uncle & ok with his selection. I personally picked up the “virgin” crab & asked the uncle “ male & female, I know how to differentiate easily but when you said “virgin” crab , why it is so?

The uncle explained to me the obvious differences is due to following features :-

1) the claws are orange / pink & brighter in color
2) the roe of the crab are brighter
3) the apron of the crab is triangle in shape ( combination of male “Jimmy” & female “Sook”.

The old auntie then laughed & said the “virgin” crab has another name by “pondan crab” due to the shape of the apron. They said the virgin crab aka pondan crab are tastier , just trust them & I won’t regret the pick. At that time I didn’t take took their words seriously, I just smiled at them . After paid the crabs, I went home to clean the crabs.

While cleaning up the crab , I was surprised to find the so called virgin / pondan crab really have brighter roe compare to the other female crabs. The taste after cooked , the virgin/ pondan crab really really tasted juicier & sweeter compared to the other crabs. The uncle & auntie was not telling me any lie & it was not a marketing gimmick.

Out of curiosity, I went & searched the internet. There is really a category of crab known as pondan crab by the locals which fit the description above.

The pondan/virgin crab has brighter roe & claws

Parenting - Training the Kids to be Independent

nihility — Thu, 30 Mar 2023 13:47:35 +0800

Yesterday I came across a very meaningful scene, that I had to take some photos for sharing. It was about a 5~6 y.o girl placing her own order at a Subway outlet. The daddy of the girl was sitting very far away & made the girl to place her own order. The girl was so brave & able to place her order precisely with the clear spoken instruction for the selection of the bread, selection of the vegetables & condiment, lastly made the payment on her own using the cash.

How many children of 5 ~6 y.o in the present day are able to place their own order / train to place such order ? You hardly see such scenario. What we commonly see will be, the father / mother will the one doing the ordering & payment, while they make their children to sit down at the dining area for following reasons:-

i) fear the children will place the wrong order & don't have time for such error,
ii) fear the children will pay wrongly & returned the wrong change,
iii) think that the children not old enough for the task,
iv) think that as the parent, the parent should do the ordering as the gesture of love to the children.

All the above reasons are signs / reasons of being over protective.

Yesterday scene was the totally the opposite of what the majority of the parent will do, to guide / coach their children to become independent. The father did not fear the children will place the wrong order, in fact he seems to be ready for such incident & aware that, making mistake is a part of parcel of learning & growing up. The father can afford the error & the time mistake. The father did not fear the children will pay wrongly or returned the wrong change, the lesson gained by the children is worth more than the possible monetary losses. The father did not think the girl is not old enough but confidently think that the girl is ready for the task. Chinese got a saying " if the parent are pampering their children, the parent will cause the harm to the children for the rest of their life".

Lastly, a message for the overprotective parent out there , if the parent keep doing what the children is suppose to do on their own, when do the children have their chance to do it? Isn't that robbing away their chance to learn ?

Hotel Buffet

nihility — Tue, 14 Mar 2023 11:30:35 +0800

Weekend Super Seafood Dinner Buffet with at Vasco KL Hilton during weekend. They served variety of seafood choices ranging from slipper lobsters (udang galah ketak), spider crabs, crabs, oysters, mussels (green oysters), clams, tiger prawns, scallops, sashimi, beef wellington, fruits, desserts, etc . I personally think it is worth the value.

RM208 nett per adult | RM108 nett per child (5 years old to 11 years old)

The price is excluding service tax 10% and government tax of 6%.

Unspoken Tradition - Taking Leave 1 week B4 Puasa

nihility — Fri, 10 Mar 2023 16:52:23 +0800

How many of your friend / colleague is on leave today because need to balik kampung to be with family 1 week before Puasa begin?

I recently get to know there is this unspoken tradition where the Muslim friends will gather with their family 1 week before Puasa begin. This weekend, traffic to kampung will be heavy, take note.

Art of Ordering Dishes - Under Rated Soft Skills

nihility — Mon, 23 Jan 2023 00:33:39 +0800

I started this topic because I felt the skill of ordering dishes when with companies / acquaintances is very crucial because there will comes a time when you need to host some lunch or dinner with your family or friends for the unofficial event. There will come also a time where your company or employer may ask you to host some lunch or dinner with the business associates or affiliates. Regardless the informal or formal event, we desire the best outcomes and wanted to avoid disappointing our guests. If over ordering, we will waste unnecessary resources with the unfinished foods. If under ordering, your guests may be disappointed and it may impact your credibility to handle thing in the eye of your employer.

There is no direct guideline on this matter as this soft skill are more often learned via exposure from the ordering. For the people who dine out frequently with big groups of people, they are more likely to have better experience in this art. However for the people who dine out less frequent, they are more likely have lesser experience in this art.

So at the individual level, what can you do to have better exposure in this skill?

1) Start by dining out with your family & do observation to the food order when you dine out with your family. With family, the tolerance of error is higher. Order & make mistakes, adjust & improves until you get the refined ordering skill.

2) If you don't have the leisure to dine out frequent, get yourself exposed with the people who handle the ordering for the events / the one paying for the family or the formal event. It is ok to ask the type of dishes, the serving of the dishes and the price of the dishes and arrive at the RM / pax. By having the average Rm/pax, you can roughly estimate the serving need to order + final total bill you need to spend. For instance, a dine out at a Chinese restaurant which required the cost of RM 40/pax. If you have around 30 pax guests, a quick budget allocation will be RM 40/pax x 30 = RM 1200. Anything lower than, there is a risk of under ordering & you may upset your guest. Always do some research on the Google's review on the average spending at the outlet prior to the visit.

If the average spending at the location is around RM 30/pax but you are ordering dishes value at RM 15/pax is indication you may be at the wrong place or you are not getting your order correct.

3) If there is no review on the average spending, you can apply this rule of thumbs ( for Chinese's restaurant)

If dining out 2-3 pax. You can order small portion serving up to 3 dishes.

If dining out 4-5 pax. You should order medium portion serving up to 4 dishes ( always use number pax -1 for number of medium serving dishes).

If dining out 6-10 pax. You should order large portion serving up to 8 dishes ( always use number of pax -2 for the number of large serving dishes).

If you have 12-14 pax seating per table, you need to x 2 the dishes you ordered for the large serving.

A simple art that is under rated & often neglected by the people but will plays very importance role for the good experience or bad experience. Hope this will give some insights especially to the youngsters. It will be an unpleasant experience to leave your guests disappointed. No doubt it is always better to over order than under order but over ordering will create unnecessary wastage. Ordering just nice is the art.

Strata Property Maintenance Rate Revision

nihility — Mon, 09 Jan 2023 16:52:59 +0800

Hi, after Government decided to raise the minimum wages to RM 1,500 / month last year, the operating expenses for the maintenance of the Strata Property got hits quite badly. Not only the minimum wages but the raw material prices & shortage of labor also added into the pain.

The labor intensive services like cleaning services, gardening & landscaping , security and property management saw a significant revision in their Contractual Services value. As the result, most MC/JMB already called for AGM to get the mandate from the eligible residents (voters) to raise the maintenance fees. How you guys reacted to this?

Already attended 2 separate AGM on the rate revision to date.

It is quite common to see the maintenance rate around RM3.00 ~ 3.50/ share unit now. How is your Strata JMC/MC doing on this issue ? What is the rate adopted by your MC/JMB ?

Note: 1 share unit = 1 sq.m = 10.76 sq.ft.

Suzume no Tojimari theme song

nihility — Mon, 09 Jan 2023 08:25:14 +0800

[youtube]jf6PRhPjvrQ[/youtube]

What is this fruit ?

nihility — Sat, 15 Oct 2022 22:49:32 +0800

This morning I was having a walk around the outskirts area. Noticed this tree with the fruit in the photos taken. What is the name of the fruit ? Is the fruit edible ?

I searched Google & only 1 image come close to the fruit, the image appeared at the book cover page titled “ Buah-buahan nadir di Semenanjung”. Appreciate any feedback from the forumer. TQ.

Weekdays Lunch Eat What? (Halal ), Sharing

nihility — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 14:19:33 +0800

Alwi”s Food @ U20 Shah Alam ( TSB Sg Buloh)

Tried their Spaghetti Goreng Kampung with Duck Breast & Linguine Carborana with grilled Chicken Breast - both are good.

Updated 6th Nov 2022

Ordered sphagetti goreng kampung with grilled chicken breast topping. The quality was consistent & good.

Tried also the Cantonese Yee Mee, it was surprisingly good.

Johor Bahru - What to eat ?

nihility — Mon, 25 Jul 2022 19:07:33 +0800

Started this thread after can”t find much opinion on JB”s foods.

JB”s people like to eat duck because a lot of Teo Chew”s descendants among the Chinese community locally. Hence 1st location going to suggest JB”s Baliban Braised Duck 八哩半卤鸭 .

Must order braised duck.

Braised pork knuckle , also another signature dish.

Braised mix organ ( intestine, tongue, ear & egg)

Bean curb

Duck horfun

Don’t ask me the pricing , I contributed by eating only this round 😄.