Lowyat.NET: Latest topics by cocoreo

How to breakup with a vengeful guy?

cocoreo — Tue, 30 Mar 2021 11:49:27 +0800

Disclaimer: Im not kidding, im not trolling. I am legit looking for opinions.

I want to breakup with my bf, but problem is im a bit scared. He has a tendency to be vengeful, more than the average person would. He planned on sending black magic and hacking his exes linkedin account for revenge. They did him wrong according to him, but still it's a bit much. He didnt act out his plans in the end, but he went as far as checking for prices for such services (where do you even find such services??). I mean, everyone faces heartbreaks and hold grudges, but not to the extend of acting up on it.

He didnt do anything wrong to me too, but i cant stand his attitude. He masked it well the first few months, but his real attitude is starting to show now. Self-centered, self-absorbed and sexist all the way to high hell. Everything is always a woman's fault.

Rape? Well probably because she was wearing sexy clothes. Scratch that, its not probably it is definitely.
Harassed? Maybe that girl was rude.
You have problems? Omg MY problem is BIGGER.
Oh you know about that, get this I KNOW MORE about that too.
Oh wait you're talking about something I know, let me cut you real quick and head the conversation instead.

He's a nice guy on a good day but he's also a prick to listen to. And that good day is getting less and less. The relationship is only a few months new so I feel it's better to exit before it develops further. My initial plan was to wait it out, let him ask for a break. But i cant stand it any longer, im really unhappy. Btw he knows where i live and work, and that i live alone.

Now that i think about it, im starting to doubt about the stories on his exes. He has dated a ton of girls, and all of them has wronged him one way or another and he never did anything wrong. He's always bringing them up, i used to think maybe he hjust not fully moved on.

I am sick of being a good listener.

cocoreo — Fri, 06 Nov 2020 11:40:26 +0800

I guess I am a fairly good listener, so my friends and families likes coming to me for advise or just to pour out their problems to me. Before this I don't mind and I was honored to be someone that people trust. But recently I have started to lose my empathy, and I find it's just annoying listening to other people's problem. I feel like I'm a sponge, I can absorb people's feelings. Sometimes when they tell me something, it would affect my mood throughout the day too, wondering and thinking up solutions for their problems.

The thing is, nobody really bothered to listen to me. Even if I try to, they barely listen and change the topic back to themselves. That also influenced my increasing annoyance in listening to people. One of my bff constantly has boy problems, and at this age I feel like she's just immature. But on the other hand, she has nobody to talk to so I still kesian. I know how it feels like you feel like nobody is listening, that's why even though I'm annoyed I would still try my best to listen. It would be rude to tell them that I don't want to hear it, right? Last week I have started not picking up their calls and just reply short messages. One of my friend is inviting me for brunch at her place this weekend, and I just turned her down because I know she's gonna talk about her breakup for the whole day.

I used to think people who dismissed other people's problem as heartless, but now I am very tempted to do so. I am a good listener irl but here I am asking for advises online..

Affordable breast cancer check-up

cocoreo — Wed, 14 Oct 2020 09:31:23 +0800

Few days ago my bff found a tiny lump under her armpit. We've been browsing for clinics/hospitals to get it checked, but the prices quoted are quite expensive. The nur sejahtera subsidy sadly already has full quota. Does anyone know a place to get it checked, with affordable price?

Whatsapp web - Missing reply box

cocoreo — Mon, 12 Oct 2020 13:55:03 +0800

Hi, anyone facing problem with whatsapp web lately? I noticed since last week, the reply box kept missing. On Chrome, it will show up when I scroll down. But for the apps installed on pc, it's completely gone. Have to close the app and re-open, but after a few minutes it will be missing again.

Resigning from toxic environment

cocoreo — Fri, 21 Aug 2020 14:33:50 +0800

My office has gotten more and more toxic lately, and I wish to get out asap. I'm working at a small, family-owned company and there's only one boss. So no HR dept whatsoever, everything is directly with him. I have a lot of questions as I have never resigned after working this long.

1. I never received a confirmation letter (worked for 7.5 years), I was only verbally confirmed (with the salary). However the resignation notice is in the offer letter, I'm required to notify him in 6 months. So does an offer letter holds the same weight as confirmation letter? Will he be able to use it against me should i quit with a 24h notice?

2. I dont have any new interview yet, but should I tell the truth to them? Or give them my other reasons for quitting? My other legit reasons for quitting are quite solid too.
- salary increment is getting worse
- nothing new to learn here, I can pretty much do everything so I'm getting bored
- I have more commitments so I need higher salary

3. Should I put him under reference or not? The office phone is directly to him too. I'm worried prospective employer will call him before I could resign, that would add more fire into the toxic situation that I am currently in. However this is the only company that I properly work for, the rest are just tempt jobs. Or can use my friend's number instead?

Tbh sometimes I feel like just chow, there's so much bad blood and I'm getting very stressed every day. My headache comes in every morning on the drive to work. On weekends I still think about him and my toxic colleague. I'm bad at expressing emotions so I keep them all bottled up. Just tahan and tahan but I am already at my limit. However my sanity is still intact, I know I should quit nicely, but yeah it's getting harder by the day.