I bang wall or I let go.

Untoldstoryx — Sun, 21 Jun 2020 01:24:47 +0800

So I found out that I am likely to be in the third party.
As in like some spare tire , more likely to be an ATM machine now which had been going on since last year when I confessed to this guy called JY
He always mention that his girl gonna come back and all but at the end of the day she was never likely to be back at all.
Its been over the years since I heard this what married and all but I was totally cool with it back then because i never even catch any feelings back then yeah know him since 2016 at friends house.

I had been trying to move on since last year yet it was hard and tough, my best friend R had been telling me over and over again when I went to her F&B place for drinks with our bunch of pals.
She had been listening to my rants and mainly complained how he treated me very differently since I just confessed.

At one point during last November 2018 I made a huge mistake when he asked me for a cuddle and it went on with other things.It was so unexpected yet I just went on with it , I never knew my feelings and emotions would be very likely to be attached yet I did scream out loud in my own mind and heart and ask myself why the hell did I even do such a thing at all. He wasn't honest with me. It's like beating behind the bush. This drama had been going on over the year till now.

Some point now his brothers aka his close friends and good friends knew something he had been hiding and yet overall it wasn't honest yet I kinda found out a lot by throwing some cash around and till it all went to a dead end and I am most likely to be walking in circles which I know and yet I blindly went and bang the wall.

One day we we're at Klang at Quackster house and his dad notice how much I like this JY
Okay fine he even repeat the words over and over again till I myself I can't handle it because I really wanna let go of him yet I know its hard yet this is like my social group too at the same time.
During that night after drinking and all he directly drove home fast top speed and almost crash a car.

Me and Mr Jinz was very indeed worry.
Why his brothers are worried about him is because he legit can go missing for one whole day or either just sleep the entire day till his own mom had to call his friends like no joke wei.
He got home all cold and all and yea I did stay over at his place cause i die die dun wanna go home cause I juz wanted to stay by his side after all those incident happen.
One thing he left me hanging without answer again.
After that day around 3pm he gave me a kiss on my forehead.
Right after he woke up in a pissed of mode. Yet he did mention this "I love you " but I have a girlfriend at Vietnam... KILL ME PLEASE

Yet I know his arse hole towards me now.
His brother's knew and that Quackster girlfriend told me that she dislike him a lot.
I seriously dunno how to move on now and kindly please read the list below

List :
1. In Vietnam he already had a girlfriend aka also known as Wife cause he pregnant the lady there.
( How he meet this girl is at the PR club at Puchong )
2. He dun even know I knew that he had a kid there which is like around 5 years old.
( yea dun mind me who ever date me I sure can find out a lot of things even if a person lie to me ).
3. His bro ask me dun be like an ATM machine now even so now its seems like his playing a good boyfriend card just for SHOW.
4. I legit need help to move on.

Not sure to call me a homewrecker or not be the judge.

I really wanna move on to another guy called M but I kinda messed this one up.
Even so I meet this fella at some stupid Job-portal even so he kinda caught me around his area after when I finish cafe hopping and visiting friends.
( We kinda constantly chat without a full stop , but during mco i stop so does he sigh )
Yes that one date was good, till I ended up with JY during my MCO days and now is like RMCO yet STUCK !!!

SOS either I bang wall or I cry now.
I HONESTLY NEED ADVISE.

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I bang wall or I let go.