I feel cheated for some reason..

Sojutea — Sun, 09 Jan 2022 04:20:50 +0800

Hello guys. I just need some advice and someone to talk to right now. Im a 23yo malay male and my ex is 21yo malay female ofc.

So I met a girl 4 years ago when I did my diploma. She was in the same course as me. You could say that we had the time of our life being together. We spent most of our time together doing everything, from just classes to our laundries. She had a bad past with her ex (ex forced her into sex and always try to use her nudes as a weapon). At first it is quite hard for me to accept but yeah I got over it pretty quick. I helped her through ALOT these past 4 years. We planned to continue our degree in the same uni studying the same course. I made it in but unfortunately she didn't. I begged my parents crying for the first time in-front of them but yeah it didnt help. Begged for soo long and my father got mad that he said something like "if you dont want to study now. Get out of this house". I truly understand his concerns because if I reject this offer I might be "blacklisted" from joining the uni? So yeah I went and study for almost a semester now. About a month ago my ex told me that shes tired being in a relationship for 10 years of her life and wants some time to improve herself. She also said to me there's no "sparks" left in our relationship. Like I get that she wants to work on herself and were not that close anymore due to covid. I'm really close to her parents so when I called her mom to tell that were not together anymore. She cried hard.. like I really cant see her cry because I see her as my own mom.. So I cried too.. so yeah after a couple of weeks of not talking or contacting my ex I saw her cousin's instagram post. I forgot that they were coming near my area. So i decided to text my ex to ask wassup. First thing she told me is that she found someone new. Yeah I was really shocked and somehow sad at the same time. It was an older Chinese guy around 35 of age full of tattoos not good looking too.. So it really shocked me.. I felt heartbroken again and I dont know why. I decided to cut ties with her mom and try to forget her.. This is what I said

Yeah it took me alot to just say that.. her mom called me right after crying if I truly want to stop talking to her. Yeah I cant.. its like cutting ties with my own mom.. it hurts.. So yeah ive been talking to her mom and asked her to keep an eye on my ex ( not asking for info or anything but just to take care of her more ) One of my final message to my ex goes like ( I still love you the same but yeah things ended up like this.. Im happy that you are happy now but I want you to promise me that youll take care of yourself. I dont want the same thing to happen again) So yeah Ive been talking to her mom regularly but I dont even talk about my ex with her. Just the usual stuff..

So right now Ive been working on myself exercising and more reading. I truly want to be a better version of myself, physically and mentally. But idk if I should try to stop loving her and it seems like I just cant stop. I just love too much..

What do you guys think of my current situation. If you want more info just ask. Im open for anything..

Sorry that its a textwall with no structure.

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I feel cheated for some reason..