Lowyat.NET: Latest topics by memoryisnotnice

Out of curiosity..

memoryisnotnice — Sat, 07 Dec 2019 12:33:16 +0800

Dear All Cupid Corner Sifus,

Just wanna get your advise/opinion on something..

Girl A :-
This happened roughly 5-6 years back? Knew her when I was having my internship and she was a permanent staff . We were quite close as we can comfortably talk with each other. Back then she was having issues with her bf (currently husband) and I advised her that there's no perfect relationship and she should talk it out with her bf if she have any concerns/worries regarding their future. Long story short.. when we were rushing for a project on one of the weekends (we were the only 2 staffs working that morning), I was suddenly hugged from behind and got kissed on the cheek. I got shocked and pushed her away, telling her that it's really wrong to do something like that, especially when you are in relationship. I got invited back to her house twice but I declined. Since then, things became awkward and we barely spoke.

Girl B:-
Know since primary school. When she found out I broke up with my ex, I got invited for dinner/outing/date? quite often. I kinda know that she likes me, but when I told her that I wasn't ready for another relationship (roughly 2-3 months after broke up with ex), she got pissed and told me that that's why she would rather be a older man's mistress. I'm like o..kay.. . Since then, whenever she invites me I would just decline or make an excuse to avoid her.

Girl C:-
Know her from workplace, she came in as intern. From the 1st day we met it felt like she's been dropping hints. Once awhile she would say things like "you're quite good looking ah", when I'm standing she would come up real close to me which made me quite..shy? . When we go out for lunch she would either sit direct opposite or next to me, even and during office outing she would often walk by my side. She claims that she rarely share beverage from the same cup with other people but she offered to share with me, and once awhile will touch/poke me ..feelings are building up but the problem is..she have a BF

Obviously I'm not gonna/did not pick any of them because it goes against my own rule/law/code and I believe that what you do to others, others will do to you - a.k.a karma. Ever since the incident with my ex I've been on guard all the time and I know how it felt to be betrayed.

Now my question is..am I the problem

**edited cause senior scold **

Did you get it ? What does it feel like?

memoryisnotnice — Thu, 28 Mar 2019 12:14:50 +0800

So..what does it feel like? How did you get it? Did both of you agree and come to a mutual conclusion/understanding that it wasn't working out before parting ways?

Mine literally felt like this:

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

Does this happen in every relationship? maybe not all the points but some of it?

When you question them or voice out that you are feeling uncomfortable with their actions, they will just give you the silent treatment..Which leads to me apologising first, thinking it's my own insecurity or fault for questioning them. This, resulted to an endless loop/cycle of the same incident throughout the years, making me more cold / give in to them in order to avoid facing the silent treatment.

When we parted ways the only reason she gave was I let her wait too long / I'm too close with my family (wert?) .. and very contradicting statements cause she knew I was really thinking of marrying and was planning to propose to her soon.

Now months passed after that incident, I'm feeling slight better but some days these sneaky feeling will sting and you fall right back into that shitty feeling of why or what could I have done to prevent that/save the relationship.

And the feeling that the relationship didn't have its closure..Haiz.

[WTS] 0.272ct E VS1 diamond

memoryisnotnice — Sat, 09 Mar 2019 16:34:09 +0800

As per topic

Item(s): 0.272 E VS1 Black By Brian Gavin ; Diamond details: https://black.briangavindiamonds.com/diamon...gs-104100653040

Package includes: Everything including certificate and box, exclude H&A telescope (they engraved names d)

Price: 680USD x current USD value

Warranty: None, we can arrange go shop and inspect/verify?

Dealing method: COD

Location: Klang Valley

Contact method/details: PM/Post here

Item(s) conditions: New

Picture:

Reason for sale: Shit happens, No reason to keep it

Thanks

WTS 0.272 E VS1 Black By Brian Gavin

memoryisnotnice — Sat, 09 Mar 2019 13:21:17 +0800

As per topic

Item(s): 0.272 E VS1 Black By Brian Gavin ; Diamond details: https://black.briangavindiamonds.com/diamon...gs-104100653040

Package includes: Everything including certificate and box, exclude H&A telescope (they engraved names d)

Price: 680USD x current USD value

Warranty: None, we can arrange go shop and inspect till you are satisfied

Dealing method: COD

Location: KL

Contact method/details: PM/Post here
---

Item(s) conditions: New

Picture:

Reason for sale: No reason to keep it d.

Not sure if this is the right place, appreciate if admin could judge it.

Thanks

Feeling lost, how to move on?

memoryisnotnice — Wed, 14 Nov 2018 18:07:28 +0800

Stared at the diamond that I've purchased for the proposal during the trip, thinking that we could finally settle down.. How and why did a 10 year relationship went all wrong and sour in just 2 weeks?

It all happened a month ago when she messaged me out of a blue saying that she wants to focus on her career and do not wish to have a marriage life, or marriage life without any commitment. We met up that night as she explained that her "fire" to work overseas suddenly came back, that she wants to be a successful career person instead of settling for marriage life. After trying to talk it out, I decided to break up and let her go, to let her happily pursue her dreams worry and stress free and due to some other reasons (will be explained below).

She seemed upset at first, that I couldn't wait for her, as I've told her that I'm looking for a relationship that helps each other grow and not just one side grow while the other waited. We have an upcoming trip in 2 weeks time with her family so we've decided to hold our relationship till then, at least to have our last and final trip as a couple before we walk our own paths and pursue our own dreams and career.

On the day of the trip she was acting suspiciously. I noticed that she kept switching tabs from messenger to another app and move away whenever I tried to take a look on it. When we reached the hotel and she went to take a bath, I decided to eliminate that factor once and for all.

I was shocked and speechless. The girl I thought I knew, I thought I understand, became a total stranger to me. The world and image we built together came crashing down.

Apparently that day after we had that talk, she had been messaging the guy (the one convincing her to go oversea work), they had been going out (she took the initiative to invite him), drinking, and one night, they kissed and made out in the car. (She claimed she pushed away the guy while doing cause felt guilty to me, and no interested to be friends with benefits nor being 3rd party) (the guy's a Married China with kids, family is still in Mainland, they met during some run)

My heart shattered. I immediately confronted her. She explained that initially it was really because she wanted to work overseas, and nothing to do with the other party. She blamed that I always kept her waiting (cause i just started working, financially unstable yet), its my own fault for invading her privacy and that I have no goals on my own. I kept quiet, and the only thing i remembered telling her was she's very selfish, because I have told her that if I'm fine breaking up and not joining the trip, and she insisted saying want to see if the feelings can be rekindled and say things like I'm really a great guy and she felt wasted letting me go, etc.

I bit the bait, now feeling like a fool. I couldn't sleep that night, I cried. The next day I just packed my things, apologised to her family that I couldn't continue the trip, purchased the next plane available and came back home. I'm feeling lost and devastated, feeling like a idiot, that everything is my own fault.

What went wrong? Where do I go?

A little bit history:

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

- We knew each other since primary, dated since secondary (apparently it doesn't matter)
- Had 2 major breakups, 1 due to her family found out (I propose breakup, 1 month), the other she say no feelings towards me (she propose breakup, 1 year), after that back together again before this happen
- I'm more to a rational guy, whenever or whatever action I take I will think hard, while she's more to emotional (this is partially the reason why I decided to let her go if she wants to work overseas, her feelings towards us is never stable, easily fall/like someone else)
- I always forgive her, whatever she did in the past, words or action that hurt me. Yet when I did something wrong, she had never once forgive me, kept that grudge and use it against me.
- I felt like I always had to follow her way/shadow, whenever decision or arguments and I have to give in/apologise, and never once the other way round.
- The relationship felt like I sacrificed/commit more than she did. I.e. when her family ask me to join for dinner/activity, I will join without any doubt. But when my family ask her to join, I have to make up excuses for 19 times, and that 1 time is quarrel then only she will join. Her mom even said:"you two not married also why you always join his family". Ex gf also even once said that:" It's YOU who wanted to do it, if you don't want don't la, no one forcing you.
- Tried to plan a future, but her thought is always "I" instead of "we/us"
- Whenever I tell her to put herself in my shoes, think how I feel, she can never do so. Even once said that she feel like trying to date other people.
- She say she can never open her heart to me, yet still insist to stay as couple whenever we quarreled.
- My family always teach me the importance of family, eat together etc..but hers is more..broken? parents not talking to each other/sleep in separate room, you do your thing I do mine that kind of family.
- I know every relationship have their issues, she's the really selfish type, and I'm always the cold type (bad at expressing my thoughts). I always tried to talk it out but she will only listens to what she feels like listening.
- FYI, I didn't have any plans to work oversea because I wanted to pursue my professional title, and it will take some years to achieve it

I knew all along that we are not compatible, yet I thought by giving time, patience, love and kindness to someone, one day they will learn to appreciate you. Yet, that was never such the case. I learned the truth and lesson the hard way.

Open to advice, or flame if you want to.