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What I Saw, I Heard & I Felt, A space for events and thoughts.

nihility — Wed, 29 Apr 2026 08:35:24 +0800

What I Saw, I Heard & I Felt
Wednesday, 29 April, 2026

Last month, I attended an adult camp.

Throughout the camp, the transmission was conducted in spoken and written Mandarin.
The spoken part was never a problem. Raised in a family that conversed mainly in Mandarin, listening was easy.

The written part, however, was another story.

Thanks to my decision to skip Mandarin classes three decades ago, I was now meeting the delayed consequences of that younger self.

So whenever the instructor wrote across the board, I could only sit there and look.

The Chinese characters recognised me.
Unfortunately, I did not recognise them.

Participants were not allowed to use their phones, so there was no translator to rescue me, no digital shortcut to hide behind. After struggling for a while, I gave up trying to copy notes and simply sat there doing the only three things left available to me:

seeing, hearing, and feeling.

I turned to my left.

The participant beside me was taking notes like a poet.

I turned to my right.

Another was writing with the calm confidence of an ancient scholar.

And there I was—occupying a seat in a Mandarin camp with the handwriting capability of a startled chicken.
I genuinely wondered what I was doing there.

Soon, a small group activity began.

Each participant had to read another participant’s name from the name tag and chant a repeated phrase aloud.

I panicked almost immediately.

There was barely any time to rehearse. The instructor demonstrated one round, and then everyone was expected to continue on their own. Different names, same phrase, instant execution.

I tried to memorise it.

The more I tried, the less familiar it felt.

Then, in what seemed like a blink, my turn arrived.

I stood up.

Read the first few words.

And stuttered.

Just as I was preparing to sink quietly into embarrassment, something unexpected happened.

The rest of the participants began repeating the phrase together with me.

Not loudly.
Not mockingly.
Just enough.

Enough for their voices to cover my broken rhythm.

Enough for my mistakes to become less visible.

Enough for me to feel as if I was singing karaoke with background music—where the music quietly carries the parts your own voice cannot.

And almost instantly, the pressure disappeared.

What should have remained a simple activity did not feel simple anymore.

It felt like a roomful of people saying:

“You matter.
We are here.
Pass slowly if you need to. We are not judging.”

Something in me softened.

When their turns came, I found myself repeating the same phrases back to them with equal sincerity.

Not because the instructor asked me to.

But because I genuinely wanted them to get through that awkward little moment the same way they had helped me get through mine.

That exchange lasted only minutes.
Yet the warmth of it did not leave with the exercise.

The next day, the main speaker talked about cultivation.

An input gives an output.
The same input gives the same output.
Until we change the input, the outcome remains largely unchanged.

It was a familiar principle.

Anyone who has encountered cause and effect, karma, or simple life logic would not find it revolutionary.

So I listened, but without much internal movement.

Until the sharing session began.

Participants were invited to share moments in life where their own decisions had led them into pain, regret, or consequences they wished they had understood earlier.

What caught me off guard was this:

They could have remained silent.
They could have told safer stories.
They could have protected their image.
Yet one after another, they came forward.

Some cried.
Some trembled.
Some paused halfway because memory was heavier than speech.

But they still shared.

Not their achievements.
Not their polished versions.

Their errors.
Their blindness.
Their misjudgements.

The places where life had struck them hard enough to leave understanding behind.

As I listened, the small group chanting from the day before returned to me.
This sharing session no longer felt like a separate moment.

Beneath both was the same quiet movement—
one person easing another through an uneasy place,
one person handing forward a caution earned the hard way.

Every confession I was hearing was, in its quietest form, an act of love.

Not sentimental love.
Not affectionate words.

But the kind of love that says:

“I fell here.
Take this memory.
When your road reaches this bend, walk with more caution than I did.”

(credit to the original creator of this image)

In that instant, every participant sharing his or her life mistake no longer looked like someone exposing personal embarrassment.

They looked like travellers placing warning signs along a dark road for people they may never meet again.
And suddenly I understood why the room felt warm.

Because warmth does not only come from comfort.

Sometimes warmth comes from people willingly handing over the painful tuition fees they have already paid in life, so that others may not need to pay the same full amount.

To donate money is kindness.
To donate time is generosity.
But to donate one’s lived mistakes—one’s hard-earned understanding, one’s private scars, one’s unhidden lessons—so that strangers may walk safer…

there is something profoundly sacred in that.
It is love with no demand attached.

No preaching.
No superiority.
No expectation of return.

Just a quiet placing of lanterns along the road.

And perhaps that was what I had really been seeing, hearing, and feeling throughout those few days—
people loving one another in ways that did not need the word love to be spoken.

Footnote:

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

What Returns, Until It Is Understood, A Story About the Bird, Fish & Lotus

nihility — Sun, 12 Apr 2026 20:36:40 +0800

Prologue: Bird, Fish & Lotus

These three images hold no direct connection.
Each arises from its own separate incident.

The only similarity—
they are all living beings.

Exploring the Human Soul, A collection of my introspective writing

Ralna — Tue, 07 Apr 2026 00:16:51 +0800

I have different albums on FB that record my journey and writing since 2018, when I first began my inner work during a period of life and identity crisis. It’s been eight years now, and I thought I’d share some of the pieces I really like from across these albums:

• Personal Growth
• Self-Mastery
• Self-Actualisation
• Exploring the Human Soul
• Love & Romance
• Religion, Philosophy & Ethics
• Life as a Christian
• Lightworker
• Deep Thoughts
• In Search of God
• Rising Sun

Often, I write while listening to meditative music. One constant has been the album Mind Temple by Tenno, which I listen to almost daily or weekly since Oct 2022. My favourite tracks keep me calm during moments of anxiety, restlessness, and sadness.

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

Those FB albums are now mostly private (they were open for a period for my friends to read if they happened to come across them or were interested), but it feels like a waste to let them sit there. Good pieces should be shared more widely so others can benefit from my introspective writing.

Perhaps some may find solace, comfort, and a sense of shared understanding as we journey through life. Matters of the soul are as vast and deep as the universe, and I feel blessed to have captured fragments of it in reflection.

Tree Planting Arc - It Began With Intention, Between What Was Planted and What Unfold

nihility — Sun, 08 Feb 2026 23:19:56 +0800

Prologue:

These were 2 Musang King graft, bought by me almost 10 years ago. These gratings were planted to the ground on 11 September 2016, with an intention to demonstrate something to myself.

Yet as the time passed, some unexpected observations arises. These were the photos on the growth of the tree over the years. The tree successfully bear the fruits last year.

I recalled the yesteryears generation teaching - be observant, the answer will be revealed in the form of pattern from our surrounding. This very photo showed the low hanging fruits within my reach.

Probably there are some of them are like the low hanging fruits - waiting to compare their observations with the others.

MultiGameDev – A Blog for Game Developers!, Tips & guides on game development

meng6 — Thu, 06 Mar 2025 01:25:13 +0800

Hey everyone!

I just started MultiGameDev (https://multigamedev.blogspot.com/), a blog where I share tips, guides, and insights on game development. If you're into making games - whether you're just starting or already building your own - check it out!

I cover game design, beginner-friendly dev guides, indie challenges, and more. Let me know what you think or if there’s a topic you’d like me to write about!

Let’s make awesome games together! 🚀

Serious: Kena conned from Early Employee, Forge Cheques CBT

sunday988 — Tue, 22 Oct 2024 18:48:47 +0800

My RM1,000,000 Lesson - If your business partner always say 'You dont trust me ah?!' without revealing anything - This is the big lesson.

TLDR:
1. A give shares to B as early employee like 4%
2. B pakat with Datuk FIL gang up and got like 700k damage via forge cheques
3. Do alot things indirectly to make company die
4. Buy property somemore
5. Many tactics to delay legal.

Anyone had similar experience?

What will happen if the company bankrupt

My RM1,000,000 lesson: A real story of Fraud, Trust and Survival

A Personal Finance Blog Dedicated for Malaysian, MalaysianPF.com

GreaterFool — Wed, 08 May 2024 03:10:56 +0800

Hey there,

I'm excited to share with you all something I've recently started a personal finance blog dedicated Malaysians. My aim is to offer practical insights into personal finance matters that are relevant to our everyday lives.

Expect to find discussions on a wide array of personal finance topics, ranging from navigating the intricacies of credit cards and loans to exploring investment opportunities.

Feel free to check out my blog at:

🔗 MalaysianPF.com

I'm on this journey just like you, and I'd love for us to learn and grow together. Looking forward to your thoughts and feedback!🌱🤝

My Reverse-Engineering forum posts,

MatQuasar — Sat, 29 Jul 2023 03:56:52 +0800

This is not blog, but in forum posts format.

If you just learn to reverse engineer in x86/x64, then welcome to my a series of articles written by me (various user name) on here.

First time using WinDbg
https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/5348191

First time using IDA Free!
https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/5369013

Using IDA Free - Part 2
https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/5375495

Using IDA Free, Part 3, Investigate Windows syscall
https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/5385943

Introducing ProcMon, "Hack" software process
https://forum.lowyat.net/index.php?showtopic=5001505

-----

Some other interesting forum posts made by me:

My first ARM Assembly program!, In armv6l architecture
https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/5424842

My first UEFI App that prints "Hello"
https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/5425840

First time using Wireshark
https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/5429634

Half past Six contractor's Job Extension, Lousy contractor extension job

ArchId — Fri, 10 Mar 2023 11:49:26 +0800

Hai there, Izwan here, want to share with future house owner who is doing house extension-e.g Kitchen, porch etc...

So 2 years back got this owner who basically got a house at nilai...after giving all the proper quotations ... owner keep quiet and decided to get a cheaper Indonesian contractor. instead...so just wish him all the best on the renovations lor....
Got a call last week, ,and he ask to come over and asking for an advice regarding this situation his having....im assuming those typical roof leaking, water seepage since malaysia is currently having its monsoon season....

To my surprise, the renovation extension went horribly wrong.

On my findings , this is the issues that the house is having:-

1) The new ground and first floor back extension is not properly structurally design. The first floor floor beam and the roof beam is tie to the original existing beam.
and same goes to the first floor R.C slab.....
A new extension should have created another new column after the existing building so that this old and new building have different structure loading purpose.

2) The ground beam missing... hahahaha..... crazy.....

3) Column design / R.C footing under design... so the double storey extension load cannot catered by the Footing and column thus settlement occurred .
The new beam and slab connecting to the existing building is producing "shear stress" that causes the building to have a major crack....

So... my question is to you all.... what do you think you all should do if this situation suddenly occurred to your house...?????

cheers mate,
Izwan
www.archidstudio.com

Resolute, Digital Marketing Agency

Resolute — Fri, 28 Oct 2022 09:35:25 +0800

Resolute- Digital Marketing Agency

Resolute help brands be great storytellers. We work as a partner that investigates the digital landscape and discover possible opportunities for your brand.

We're a full-fledged digital marketing agency in Malaysia, working with Malaysian organisations, building great brands and doing awesome work.

Our team is made of strategic thinkers, data-driven optimisation experts but a special emphasis on creative people. Let us help propel your brand forward, and build solid growth.

Resolute's main offerings are social media marketing work, content production and other digital marketing services.

Check our profile and click on the home page url in the information bar if interested.

juantechblog.github.io - IoT|Smart Home|Coding,

Jhs — Fri, 19 Aug 2022 11:59:54 +0800

I blog about some electronic(Arduino) and coding projects.
Also, content for Smart Home.

Link:
https://juantechblog.github.io/
https://juanstechblog.blogspot.com/ (archive)

Update:

How to install Hugo on Windows 11. 16-March-2024

Integrate SONOFF Zigbee USB Dongle 3.0 Plus-P into Home Assistant. 23-January-2024

Fixing Washing Machine Water Fill Issue. 22-January-2024

Build Human Presence Sensor with ESP8266, LD2410 and ESPHome, Integrate into Home Assistant. 23-December-2023

Hosting Mosquitto MQTT Broker on Docker Compose 15-October-2023

Orange Pi Zero 3: Read this Before You Buy. 22-August-2023

Buy an Orange Pi Zero 3 instead of Raspberry Pi 4. 21-August-2023

Try out to Power the ESP-01S(ESP8266) with Rechargeable NiMH batteries and HT7833 voltage regulator. 26-July-2023

Arduino + ESP8266 + RC522 RFID Module to save RM 100 replacement fee for my RFID access card. 25-May-2023

I Don't Know Why Docker Desktop "--network host" is not working and "/dev/snd" is not found. 15-Mar-2023

Upgrade Old Wall Switch to WiFi Tuya Smart Wall Switch 15-Dec-2022

Try out 28BYJ-48 Stepper Motor with ULN2003 Driver Board Using Arduino and AccelStepper. 17-Sept-2022

Build AirPlay 2 receiver on a Linux computer with Shairport-sync. 7-July-2022

Googiehost, Free, for real?

sto11 — Tue, 16 Aug 2022 22:50:34 +0800

Anyone with experience on Googiehost.com forever free hosting?

Some other places discussed in chats but they were tryware pay later etc

I'd like to do an educational reference page that will outlive me!

Game Design Blog (By ProSuperSchool), cosmostreameons.blogspot.com

ProSuperSchool — Fri, 11 Mar 2022 14:58:37 +0800

Pls visit it

https://cosmostreameons.blogspot.com/?m=1

thefoodiepassport.com - Food | Travel | Stay, Blog about food, travel and hotel

rickysnapz — Fri, 26 Nov 2021 16:22:40 +0800

HI all,

I just launch a new blog about food, travel and hotel review.

https://thefoodiepassport.com/

Do visit the blog to know more about food and travel review. Comment and collaboration are most welcome.

www.cableserpent.com, Blogs and IT stuff

sam_01 — Tue, 05 Oct 2021 21:57:03 +0800

Dear LYN members,

During this pandemic I've spent a lot of time at home. So I decided to learn a little about Python programming and created this blog site. The content mostly work stuff that I have compiled over the years. Not much content yet , but I hope that I will grow once I have more time to write (I have to admit, writing about anything is harder than it looks).

Thank you.

Bajubesi.Com.My, Bajubesi.Com.My - Gamers Community Web

Belon — Sun, 18 Apr 2021 03:26:56 +0800

hye all!

Bajubesi.Com.My is a gaming community portal, Magazine, News,Forum and Blog.Packed with gaming,tech,islamic and PC information news that will satisfy your geeky needs.Build in 2020 and hope to cater all the gamers with reliable information,this site is still under development.

i want to share with you guys my newly build website ( Bajubesi.Com.My ) ,i would like to invite all lowyat.net members to check it out,feel free to register and try the website,sign up is free,i need you guys feedback and ideas.

the website is about gaming and tech mostly,but also have islamic content for all the muslim surfer,hope you guys can support me.

URL: https://bajubesi.com.my

p/s : if anybody would like to be in the team,u guys are most welcome,reach me at webmaster@bajubesi.com.my

Oral dental health blog, How to save your teeth!

crazycgi — Mon, 18 Jan 2021 20:51:58 +0800

Hi guys, check out my new dental blog for gum disease treatment and electric toothbrushes. Also connected to a store. But i add good oral health tips in the blog. Tuff-Teeth Oral care site.

My Technical Blog,

FlierMate — Sat, 19 Dec 2020 02:22:54 +0800

File Structure of PE and ELF Explained

Hi everyone! Today, I am going to show you the minimal file structure of two popular binary executable format. Windows (PE) and Linux (ELF).

Windows
Let's take a look at Windows PE file format:

PE:

Please note that Code Section and Data Section is minimum 512 bytes each, or power of two to the multiple of 512 as required by File Alignment setting in File Header.

As its name implies, Code Section contains all machine code (normally Intel x86 or AMD64 CPU architecture opcodes) while Data Section contains all data values. A functional PE should have Import Table referencing to either kernel32.dll or user32.dll or both.

For ordinary EXE, you can always ignore the checksum and timestamp in File Header.

Linux
Now, it's time to look at ELF32/64 binary file format.

ELF:

ELF file format is smaller compared to that of PE. A functional "Hello World!" ELF64 binary file could be well below 200 bytes, compared to a similar "Hello World!" (CUI) PE binary file which is about 2048 bytes (or 1024 bytes if you combine three section altogether).

The similarity between these two binary file formats is each Code Segment or Code Section and Data Segment or Data Section has respective headers.

These binary file formats have existed for more than 20 years and have not changed much since then.

Tiny executable file like a 2048-byte portable executable (PE) is often falsely detected by antivirus software as trojan or malware.

macOS

Well, I could not afford an Apple machine so I give up researching on anything related to macOS including its binary file format. To date, I never have used macOS in my life time.

Conclusion
I hope you already get the preliminary idea about the file structure of two popular binary executable format.

As for me, PE file format even in its minimal form is way more complex than ELF file format.

Fiholic, Personal Finance Blog by a Doctor

fiholic — Thu, 10 Dec 2020 09:07:46 +0800

Ahoj! (means hello in Czech)

I'm the Chief Writer at Fiholic.com - a personal finance blog for Malaysians from all walks of life.

I blog about money issues like investing, insurance, the latest fintech etc.

I started this blog in June 2020 (actually moved some money-related posts from my old blog, with existing traffic) and happy to say traffic is picking up consistently.

In real life, I'm actually a doctor (but not the dramatic kind you see on TV like Grey's Anatomy - I don't deal much with clinical. More to administration & management).

Thanks for reading!

How to raise a cat - blog, sharing raising cat experience

IpohGuyz — Wed, 02 Dec 2020 00:00:02 +0800

Sharing my experience in raising cats. Hope others can learn abit or two from my blog

https://catanswer.blogspot.com/

My cats
[YOUTUBE]U8jruLXbmJo[/YOUTUBE]